Tequila & Lime With a Grain of Salt
by SnoopGirl69
Summary: Katie struggles with the aftermath of unfortunate events upon her and Callen's return from Kenya. *Sequel to Tequila & Lime* - WARNING: Rated *M*
1. Chapter 1 - All In a Day's Work

**Tequila &amp; Lime With a Grain of Salt**

**A/N: **This is the sequel to _Tequila &amp; Lime._

**WARNING:** This story is rated "M" for language and sexual content.

**Chapter 1 - All In a Day's Work**

* * *

Callen and Katie felt the impact of the nearly thirty hours of traveling well into the first week. It wasn't until day six they were finally in a routine with the local inhabitants of two hundred in the village, they, and the other ten volunteers from the United States, were assigned to. Despite laying on the Equator, Kenya's climate is diverse, given the elevation ranges of cities, towns and villages throughout the developing country.

Katie's previous trip had been to a higher elevation, and even though it wasn't easy acclimatizing, the cooler weather was welcomed. The Swahili name, _dhahabu malaika_ (gold angel) was given to Katie by a young woman, Kamaria, who had recently been married and was also caring for her younger sister, Kaisa, after both their parents passed away from AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). Callen was given the name _macho ya bluu_ (blue eyes) by the woman's husband, Jabari. The yet to be named village was aptly called, _un aitwaye mahal _(unnamed village)_. _Katie and Callen took to this family immediately, their hospitality unlike any they had ever encountered. Living less than a modest life, the family's faces were always adorned with smiles and an extended helping hand.

Katie spent her days with three other volunteers and the thirty children assigned to them in a makeshift school while Callen worked with the rest of the volunteers and villagers building the new school. Repairs on the church would commence after the school was built but given the primitive nature of construction Callen wasn't sure they would get to the church during his visit.

Sunday afternoons were reserved for worship and family time. A full day of rest was unrealistic for the people of _un aitwaye mahal _despite it being one of the more "affluent" villages in the region. A groundwater well was put in a few months before Callen and Katie arrived and that simple utility meant no more two hour walks to the nearest stream for families and more importantly, _clean_ water.

Days turned into weeks and before they knew it, week five had commenced. Their days were long, usually starting at five o'clock in the morning and ending just after seven o'clock in the evening. The long days, coupled with the scorching heat, Callen's labour-intensive work and Katie's emotional challenges, had Callen and Katie yearning for some "quiet time".

The dilapidated truck carrying the workers from the other side of the village arrived a few minutes after the children were let out of the two "huts" that were being used as temporary classrooms. Katie rounded her shoulders backward before stretching her neck to each side. A long soak in a hot bubble bath resonated through her mind until she spotted Callen hopping off the back of the truck as it came to a stop.

She hoisted her bag over her shoulder as she left the temporary school and walked towards him. A red bandana wrapped around his head popped out against his light beige coloured pants and loose fitting, long sleeved shirt. His now darkly tanned face illuminated his blue eyes and she swore his hair, having not been trimmed in almost two months, was getting lighter from the exposure to the sun. A nod in her direction indicated he saw her and a small smile adorned her face. With the new found "water of gold" as the well was called, bathing was less primitive and since she and Callen had finished their day at the same time, she recommended a joint shower. Sweaty, dirty and exhausted, he hesitated in accepting Katie's offer.

"If I don't get _something_ from you, I am fairly certain I _will_ be experiencing spontaneous combustion."

"Then you shouldn't have picked such an _exotic_ vacation for us."

"Still a smart ass."

"From the look in your eyes and tone in your voice, I'm _certain_ it's not my ass you want. Anyhow, you will have to wait a few more minutes while _I_ take a shower." With that affirmation, Callen disappeared.

Katie Mitchell was an initiator, so she literally took matters into her own hands. When Callen returned, clad only in a towel wrapped around his waist, hair still damp, Katie was laying on her back on the bed, nipples hardening as she brushed the tips of her fingers over them. Before he could even think about losing the towel he shook his head in case he was dreaming. When his eyes, that had been tightly closed, reopened, what he saw wasn't a dream. It was _his _woman, waiting for _him. _Her golden locks spread out in a fan-like pattern above her head, legs straight, hips raising slightly as her hands hit sensitive spots on her breasts.

_Oh her breasts. _

The way they jiggled as he moved in and out of her. The two small moles on the outside of the left one that he liked to kiss and use his tongue to draw an imaginary line between, the moistness leaving goose bumps on the pale skin. Or when the little nubs of dark skin strained against her clothes as he removed her shirt; his intense stare meeting hers. Oh and how he _loved it_ when her silk-like knolls of flesh squished into his chest when their bodies met, knowing a kiss would soon follow.

"Are you going to stand there and watch or are you going to join me?"

Her words took him out of his worshiping, "You know I like to watch but since dinner will soon be ready, I'll join you." He may have been on the verge of exhaustion, but the extended abstinence had to be ended. _For Katie's sake of course. _

After unwrapping his towel and tossing it on the wicker chair beside the small, handmade dresser, he knelt on the edge of the bed closely watching Katie's hand meander over her body. His arms moved upward to her feet where he firmly placed his hands and as they progressed up her legs, pressing in spots that elicited moans of pleasure from her mouth, his body crept forward, nudging her legs apart as his chest pressed into her warm, aroused body.

"It's been too long," his voice a whisper, the hotness of his breath meeting her mouth triggering an intense rush of arousal in Katie's groin.

People were going about their day, preparing for dinner but with thin clay and straw walls surrounding them, Callen wasn't taking a chance of being heard while he ravished his lover. Legs now entwined, their chests press together and two heartbeats increased as their mouths met with an intense frenzy. Nibbles to his nipples ensued as positions were adjusted to allow Callen to enter her more than ready opening. With every attempted audible moan from Katie's mouth, Callen intervened with his lips and tongue meeting hers. It was almost counter productive as he elicited more sounds from her with ministrations from his sexy mouth. Neither of them had any issues with Callen being on top, driving into her, wondering why the hell they hadn't had sex for five weeks despite seeing each other every single day and sleeping in the same bed at night.

There were two very valid reasons: heat and work. He had an internal giggle wondering how Kenyan's reproduced the way they did when their lives were _filled_ with work that allowed them to exist with only the barest of essentials and sometimes not even that. Katie's legs wrapping around his neck gave him a renewed energy and as she arched her back up a little it was the perfect position for them both to release the pent up sexual tension that has been buried beneath the sweat, extremely long days and basic lack of privacy, (minus their antiquated but cozy "room").

"Oh my God!" Katie's words surmised what they were both feeling. "That was my first orgasm without manual stimulation. And my first _here._"

Callen twitched slightly as he lay beside her, both of them panting from the intense, but short "workout." _Talking_ about masturbation was something he preferred not to do; yet he had _no_ qualms about _doing it_ alone, in front of her or _watching her_.

"You haven't … _you know_?" His voice was still a whisper.

Katie relished in Callen's attempt to be quiet during and after sex, the sounds of footsteps, passing by their heads opposite the thin walls. "You mean _mas-tur-bate_." The accentuation on the technical term had Callen shaking his head.

"You're doing that on purpose," he murmured towards the ceiling, still trying to regain his regular breathing, wondering if she was going to give him a demonstration.

"Am not."

"Yeah, you are," he replied as his hand met the top of her thigh. "You know exactly what words like that do to me. What they make me want to _do_ to you."

"A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."

"And a man must do what he needs to do to please his woman."

Katie bit her lower lip wholeheartedly expecting his right hand to slide down past her thatch of pubic hair and caress the smoothness surrounding her bundle of nerves. When he instead positioned his hands on either side of her hips and, with his eyes peering upward, made is way back down her body, Katie bit harder on her bottom lip in anticipation of what he was about to do. Would he use his mouth? His hands? _Both_? With just the tip of his tongue, Callen gently licked her clitoris causing a stifled whimper from Katie while one finger stroked her softly just below his mouth. Her natural scents, combined with his semen, enticed him along in preparing her for another trip into ecstasy.

Trying so desperately not to scream out, Katie grabbed her tossed aside shirt and placed it over her mouth. A grin and small chuckle from her ravisher interrupted his task for only a brief moment before he continued. Her body tensing, back arching and mouth silently open, Callen's senses were spot on as he felt her legs tremble below him and two hands grabbing at his now long enough strands of hair.

_Mission accomplished_

It was their day off from making dinner, so they took advantage of the time, lying in bed, cuddling and talking.

"This has been a real eye opening experience," Callen said as he stroked arm, her head snuggled against his chest.

"Yeah, it's something a first world country can't comprehend until it is seen up close and personal. I'm really glad you came. Sharing this experience with you means a lot to me."

"Watching you with the kids and their parents, your compassion so natural," he brushed stray hairs from her face and place a chaste kiss on her lips, "has me loving you more everyday."

Katie didn't want to respond with "Me too" but wasn't sure what else to say.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything." Callen didn't expect a response and being his usual perceptive self, responded with reassuring words for Katie. "You accepting me for who and what I am, is I all need."

Katie's response with a sultry kiss was perfect, however, after a glance at his watch on the stand beside the bed and mentioning they had ten minutes before the dinner bell would sound, they got dressed, washed up and headed to the common area for their last meal of the day.


	2. Chapter 2 - Calm Before the Storm

**Chapter 2 - Calm Before the Storm**

* * *

Kamaria and Katie had become good friends, bonding over their love for children. The village now had two schools, one for the older students and one for the younger kids who Katie had helped in teaching the beginnings of English as a second language to. For an hour a day Katie had also been helping kids whose parents couldn't afford to send them to school or were too sick to attend.

Droughts and monsoon rains were major obstacles for Kenyans attempting to achieve living a modest way of life. That aspect of Mother Nature couldn't be controlled, although the onset of wells in villages increased the chance of successful crops in the non-rainy season. Interception with another aspect of Mother Nature was something Kamaria was very passionate about. Birth control wasn't unheard of in Kenya, however, the availability of it to the vast majority of its citizens, was non existent given food &amp; shelter came before preventing pregnancies. Condoms were the most practical form of birth control for the people of her village and in essence the most natural way to help prevent unplanned pregnancies. Katie took a deep-seated interest in the noble cause and promised that upon her return home she would do what she could to help by sending supplies to her the village.

Callen and Jabari had fused a friendship over a game of chess a few days after the volunteers arrived. The hand carved wood pieces were admired and gently handled by Callen as they planned their strategic moves game after game. The light of a small lantern had been the only source of light some nights when Jabari's competitiveness got the best of him.

_"Kamaria has no patience for this game," Jabari revealed to Callen right before he snatched his opponent's rook from the board he made himself, his smile conveying that he was in it to win. _

_"Neither does Katie," Callen replied as he moved his queen from harms way._

* * *

Day thirty-nine of their six-week adventure came with mixed emotions for Callen and Katie. They were anxious to return home to their friends, family and work but were also going to miss their newfound friends. For Callen it was getting back into his routine of saving the _City of Angels_ by day and being with Katie by night. Katie was looking forward to the new job that would fulfill her dream of assisting the youth of the great metropolis in getting the most out of life despite shaky beginnings.

The new teacher had arrived for the younger students giving Katie more time to spend with the children who weren't attending school. On her third to last day in Kenya, she met up with a young boy and his cousin. They took to her immediately and the planned one-hour session turned into three hours of inquisitiveness by the spirited boys. With barely enough clothes covering their slim bodies, smiles were prevalent enough to bring unshed tears to Katie's eyes. She felt selfish for wanting to go home to her sturdy house, fridge full of food and a job that, however horrific the situations were, would _never_ compare to her current surroundings. Certain Callen would wake her for their turn at helping prepare dinner; Katie walked the few hundred feet back to the room and welcomed the feel of the sub standard mattress beneath her. Moments after her eyes closed, she was asleep.

When Callen entered the room two hours later he found Katie on her side, legs curled up &amp; clothes still on. She rarely took afternoon naps, but having seen the tiredness around her eyes earlier in the day, he chose to let her sleep and headed out for dinner on his own. A plate could be brought to her later and if she weren't hungry it most certainly would be shared with a local family. Twenty minutes later, Katie appeared in the common area where meals were eaten. Small talk ensued as later that evening the villagers were planning to entertain their visitors with traditional dances.

For just over an hour, song and dance filled the cooling night air. Callen would never understand how people with so little could still find a way to celebrate life but in essence they were really celebrating the one thing they always had plenty of –_hope_. At ten forty-five, Callen and Katie sat on makeshift chairs watching the sparks from the fire flicker off into the cooling night air.

"I wish there was something more we could do for them," Callen stated as he leaned forward and drew a circle in the sand with his finger.

"There is something a group of us did last time, but not sure what you would think of it."

"Tell me."

"We emptied our suitcases and left _everything_ here."*****

Callen's head tilted sideways to face Katie and without hesitating, replied, "Let's do it."

* * *

Day forty brought much needed rain to the region and the morning was then unscheduled for the volunteers. Katie had woken up quite amorous and when she saw Callen wasn't beside her, she sighed in frustration. Food would have to be the (hopefully temporary) distraction for her fired up libido. As she went to leave the room, a piece of paper floated to the floor from the door.

_Playing chess - Callen_

Sighing at the short note and then shaking her head in further (sexual) frustration, she took a quick shower and brushed her teeth before heading over to where breakfast was served. Fruit and orange juice was all she desired. Well, that and her devilishly handsome travel partner.

Shortly after Katie had returned to the room, Callen returned from his chess game with Jabari. "What the hell are you doing?" Callen asked as he entered their room instantly seeing Katie sitting on the bed eating her banana in a most peculiar way.

She removed the long, provocatively shaped form from her mouth long enough to answer his question, "Eating a banana."

"But you haven't taken a bite out of it."

"Forget your first name, _"Observant"_ should be your middle name."

He watched as a good portion of the yellow fruit disappeared into her mouth. And when it came back out with teeth marks gently indented on it, his body-shifted position –like _that was _going to do anything to wipe the kinky thoughts from his mind.

"What am I going to do with you Miss Mitchell?"

"_Nothing_. As soon as I am finished this banana, I hope to satisfy the rest of my appetite with…" She purposely left her sentence unfinished as the soft, ripe fruit dissolved in her mouth.

"Is that all you think about?" Callen asked, a full smirk forming as Katie swallowed the last bite of the produce he was now envying and then set her plate on the small table before crawling to the end of the bed.

"I thought you liked my mouth on you," she whispered as her eyes rolled upward while her hands pulled down his shorts.

Even a hard swallow followed by a deep a breath couldn't prepare him for what was to come, "_Oh_ _I do_."

Then before he could blink twice, Katie was on her back, head hanging slightly over the edge of the mattress, mouth open, and ready to take him in. The rain had settled into a steady rhythm, the sun trying to poke through a separating rain cloud as Callen pressed his knees into the side of the mattress in an attempt to assist Katie's movements.

When her voice instructed him to _"Relax"_ he chose to listen and let out a pleasing sigh as his head tilted back and both hands landed on his hips. But when he leaned forward to "cop a feel" through her shirt, a hand smacked it away. He so desperately wanted, no make that _needed_ to touch her but she was having no part of it. "_Relax,_" Katie repeated before she did that tantalizing twirl of her tongue around the tip of his cock that he liked so much.

"Show me your tits." It was a command, not a request but really, what was he going to do if she _didn't_ 'obey' him?

As Katie, still on her back, pulled up her shirt exposing bare breasts while the other hand continued to stroke him, Callen shook his head. Katie's eyes shot him a quizzical look.

"Keep your shirt on."

The sly look in his eyes had Katie rolling hers as she pushed her breasts over the neckline of the t-shirt. It was a bit uncomfortable but the groan from the voice above her was reassurance that he _really_ liked what he saw. As Katie continued to slowly caress his cock with her hands and mouth, Callen's heart beat increased, droplets of sweat formed on his forehead and his mouth spewed coarse words of instruction. Although they were very well in tune with each other's likes and dislikes, there were times when moods for either one of them changed without rhyme or reason.

Katie's fellatio had begun with soothing his cock, basically making, sweet, slow love to it. But when those sexy mounds of flesh, pushed together by the top of her shirt, bounced as her head bobbed in all directions, his desire for a lewder scene grew. And the exposure of her breasts was just the beginning.

"_Mmmmm _… just like that," he crooned when she deep throated him. A few moments after one of Katie's hands slid under his testicles and just a _little_ further back, an ear-piercing scream from the other side of the wall penetrated the air followed by one word - _"Jabari!" _

* * *

*****My sister-in-law did this after mountain climbing in Africa


	3. Chapter 3 - See No Evil

**Chapter 3 - See No Evil**

* * *

Callen, unfortunately, knew that type of scream. It wasn't a call for help, but a plea for help. After a few seconds of looking at each other they both came to the same conclusion – the screaming voice was that of Kamaria. Without further hesitation, Callen pulled up his shorts, and instinctively reached for his non-existent gun. He'd been without it many a times and fared well.

_"I hope this will be one of those times",_ he thought to himself.

Before tending to the situation outside, he turned to Katie whose eyes were asking him to help her friend but also wanting him to stay.

_"Stay here."_ His hands pressed firmly on her shoulders emphasized the two words. Her mouth opened in protest, eyelashes flickering fast in nervousness but Callen was out of her sight before she could say or do anything.

The rain had stopped and the sun was quickly erasing any signs that it had happened. The sight of Jabari running with impressive speed caught Callen's attention and he sprinted towards him. Several men had gathered near the sight that had Callen motionless after he came to a sudden stop just beside Jabari. His racing heart wasn't any competition for the thoughts his mind was processing at that moment.

Kamaria and Kaisa's hands were bound behind their backs with one man standing behind them while another man stood guard to the left of them. They key to ending the situation was getting to the man with the gun standing guard. Conversing with Jabari and the other bystanders, Callen presented his scenario and all were in agreement.

Just as he was about to undertake his part in the plan – taking out the guard – he heard screams from Kaisa that caused him to stop movement and turn in her direction. Kamaria's dress had been ripped from her body. The sick bastard wanted an audience and that alone was making Callen sick to his stomach, but when the assailant motioned for the armed gunman to come closer to Kaisa, his adrenaline and protective nature went into overdrive.

_He wants Kaisa to watch_

And then a split second later the terrorizing reality hit him. _Kaisa was next._ Sexual assaults and rapes were widespread throughout Kenya and although Callen was aware of the sadistic nature that was rampant in the country, he had felt relatively safe in _un aitwaye mahal._ For the vast majority of assailants, sexual gratification through dominance was their motive, however, there were some that felt it was their 'right' to decide who should be able to bear children. And for those they didn't deem acceptable, they would ensure they never did. The horrifying reminder that it could have been Katie on the dirt, naked before him, bounded but not gagged, was what propelled his feet forward._ They_ wanted the cries and begging to be heard. With the good guys ready to protect at any cost, their silent vow to protect Kamaria and Kaisa ensured a successful outcome.

* * *

Katie sat on the edge of the bed facing the door, desperately wanting to see what was going on and see that her friends and Callen were okay. She wasn't naïve about the 'culture' some had formed in Kenya and the blatant disregard for women by so many. She was, however, unaware that Kaisa was experiencing a trauma that no one, especially a child, should be exposed to. After several minutes, Katie's curiosity got the best of her when she left the bed to open the door just enough to see if she could get a glimpse of what was going on. Kamaria and Kaisa were out of her view, but what she did see was a dark-skinned man wielding a gun of some sort that was pointed in the direction to the left a small shack obstructed that sight line. With the room door open only enough for the top part of her face to be exposed, Katie shifted her eyes back and forth in search for any sign of Callen.

_Nothing._

Just as she was about the close the door, the gunman slumped to the ground. Her eyes fixated on the figure standing over the man who had brought his evil to the lives of the people she called her friends. The clothes of the standing man looked eerily familiar. It couldn't be but how many other men had she seen that day with a yellow and green plaid t-shirt with black running shorts?_ None._ Only one man could pull off that unique combination.

Katie closed the door, unaware that the situation outside was under control. Were there more men with guns? Where was Kamaria? Jabari? Her foot tapped the floor nervously, keeping her silent promise to Callen that she would stay in the room. Was he okay? Just as she was about to break her promise and go look for him, the door swung open. A sudden wave of relief coursed through her body and her foot finally stopped the nervous tapping.

_"Callen,_" she said, barely above a whisper.

Callen took Katie in his arms, holding her tightly and relieved a hundred times over that she didn't see what had just happened.

"What happened?" she asked pulling out of the comforting arms she loved so much.

He so wanted to protect her from that evil he had referred to weeks before but she could be persistent when her compassion was in full swing, "Some radicals thinking they could inflict their warped views on those just trying to survive."

"That's not an answer Callen. Tell me what happened. Why was Kamaria screaming Jabari's name?"

"We got to her and Kaisa before they could touch them."

_"Kaisa?_ Oh my god, _what_ the hell happened?"

"They are going to be fine."

Katie was frustrated, "That's not what I asked you."

He turned his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Fine, if you won't tell me, I will ask Kamaria myself." And with that affirmation, she sidestepped Callen but before she could open the door, a large, strong hand grabbed her arm.

"I don't think that is a good idea Katie."

"And why not?" she asked still very aware of the hand on her forearm.

"They need some time alone with Jabari."

The fierce look she gave him before glancing at her arm was enough for him to release his firm grip.

Katie shook her arm and noticed the slight red mark left by Callen's fingers. "All you had to do was say that." She knew he was right but the desire to see her friends was still prominent. And she was not going to let him off that easy for grabbing her like he did.

"You've never done that to me. Why now?"

"All you need to know is that your friends are okay and the men who tried to hurt them are gone."

"You really are an eluder of things, aren't you?"

He knew exactly what she was talking about but that's how he often tried to protect those he cared about. He would bear the burden of the sinister details, folding them into neat layers in the back of his mind, each one a reminder of how cruel the world could be.


	4. Chapter 4 - Speak No Evil

**Chapter 4 - Speak No Evil**

* * *

Day forty-one arrived with an exquisite sunrise and bittersweet feelings. Worries of how Kamaria and Kaisa were doing made sleep restless for Katie _and_ Callen. They went to visit Kamaria the previous night at Katie's insistence but Jabari shook his head when they asked to see her. He thanked them for coming by and said he and his family would see them before they left the next day. Callen's efforts to comfort Katie, verbally and physically, were in vain. Clueless to what was _really_ going through her mind, he decided to let her be.

After packing up the few essentials needed for the trip home, Katie and Callen, their four suitcases in tow, knocked on Jabari and Kamaria's door. The man, a few years younger than Katie, answered the door, his face making it evident sleep didn't happen for him either. He nodded for them to enter the less than modest home. It was a bit smaller than Katie's living room but it showed the pride Jabari took in it. While Kamaria reciprocated Katie's hug, Kaisa hugged Callen and thanked him for "taking away the bad men."

Kamaria took a small bracelet that had been Kaisa's when she was a baby and placed it in Callen's hand. He shook his head, insistent that it wasn't necessary. He told them that friends take care of friends, with no material items needing to exchange hands.

Jabari's voice was deep and strong, just like the love for his family, "We shall forever be grateful for what you did."

Kaisa had started two drawings several days ago and had finished them just before she and Kamaria took an often-walked path to collect firewood, and just before their simple, quiet lives were shaken up by ignorance. First one she gave to Katie. It was of Katie and Callen playing kick ball with her and some friends. The other one she gave to Callen was of him and her "brother" (Jabari) playing chess outside.

It was then that Katie and Callen stepped outside and brought in their suitcases. Kamaria's look of confusion wasn't a surprise for the Americans. An excited Kaisa asked if she could open a suitcase and Jabari nodded. The almost teenager carefully sorted through Katie's clothes, handling each item as if it were glass. Callen glanced at his watch and mentioned it was time to leave. Hugs were given all around and Jabari walked Callen and Katie to the bus they would be taking to Nairobi. His illuminated smile was all Katie needed to find the tears welling in her eyes. Jabari (again) thanked Callen and Katie for all they did for his family and one day hoped to be able reciprocate their generosity and kindness. The men shook hands and Jabari waved as he headed back to his home while Katie looked for her carry-on bag, opened it and place the two drawings carefully in the zipped compartment. The horn honked on the dusty bus signalling the Americans it was time to leave. As the somewhat modern vehicle exited the village, a glimpse of the new school came to sight. Smiles formed on many of the passenger's faces, as the memories gathered in _un aitwaye mahal _would often be reflected upon in the years to come.

_Dhahabu malaika_ (gold angel)_ and Macho ya bluu _(blue eyes) clasped hands as the bus kicked up dirt before it turned onto the main road that would lead them to the capital city of a country that had citizens filled with hope and faith (among some of the worst living conditions on the planet) that anyone in the "first world" would admire.

* * *

Katie Mitchell was beyond relieved to be taking a hot shower where it wasn't a race against time. Callen had offered to join her but she declined stating that she just wanted to be alone. He gave her a short kiss before retreating to the hotel balcony with a cold beer he had obtained from the lobby. Based on the hotels he had stayed in over the course of his career, this particular one would barely make a two-star rating. But for the area it was in near the airport, the four-stars were justifiable. Scanning the pictures on his phone, he smiled often at most of them, especially the ones with Katie. Her smile and compassion were contagious to everyone around her. He sent a text to Sam letting him know they would be home in two days pending everything was on schedule before he set his phone down on the worn glass table and laid back on the surprisingly comfortable chaise lounger and closed his eyes.

They were both physically and emotionally drained. The unfortunate incident in the village was clearly affecting Katie in a negative way and Callen had let her know that if she wanted to talk (about it) he was there for her. Katie reassured him that she was fine and just wanted to go home and prepare for her new job. He had seen many people over the years spiral downward after a traumatic incident so he would keep an eye on her, silently hoping it was just exhaustion and the eagerness to return home.

As she stood in the steam filled bathroom, Katie could feel her body and mind start to relax. After drying off, she reached into her carry on bag and retrieved a nightshirt. That and a change of clothes for the next leg of their trip home, was all she kept. And Kaisa's drawings. After meeting Kaisa, Katie (and Callen) knew she was the one to give Rachel's prized soccer ball to. Seeing the young girl and a few friends kick around a piece of wood, delighted as could be that it wasn't needed for something else, she handed the ball over to her one day after school. It was enjoyed by many of the children in the village but it was Kaisa who took it home every night.

Katie scrolled through the photos on her phone to the ones of Kaisa and Callen trying to bounce the ball off their heads. He had been beyond amazing over the past six weeks. Being used to the simpler things in life in no way prepared either them for six weeks of living in those conditions.

What she couldn't wrap her mind around was that Kamaria, her family and the majority of the villagers lived fairly well compared to other villages near by. Good water literally helped make the difference between life and death for many. An emphasis on education for everyone also enabled families like Kamaria's to find ways to improve their lives and hopefully, give future generations longer and more fulfilling lives.

There had been nights when Katie was so emotionally drained that she just wanted to curl up in her bed and sleep until it was time for the group to leave. It was Callen who massaged her shoulders where it seemed she was carrying the weight of frustration of not being able to do more for the people of _un aitwaye mahal. _Each night she had intended to reciprocate the massage but every time his hands hit the magical spot it left her body begging for sleep.

Heading towards the balcony she spotted Callen peacefully relaxing, hands behind his head, seemingly not a care in the world. G. Callen had plenty of cares, but unlike Katie he was adept at compartmentalizing them.

"It's a beautiful sunset," Katie stated as she leaned against the railing, avoiding taking a deep breath given half the city lived in slums. And then she started thinking again about the horribleness of the country.

"You okay?" Callen asked as he sat up.

"No. I just want to go home."

"Me too," he replied as he motioned for her to come sit with him.

"Except for the shower, my mind hasn't stopped since…"

"I'll give you a massage."

Katie took her place in front of Callen on the lounger, moving her damp hair to one side.

The impending night air was cooling which neither of them noticed as Katie's body and mind once again relaxed in the presence of Callen's comforting hands as he pressed into her shoulder blades. After he relieved the knot of pain on the right side, she was rejuvenated to the point of being amorous. She had missed their intimate times. Not wanting to interrupt the flow of pleasantness coursing through her much less tense body, she rubbed her backside against his groin, which caused him to let out a soft sound of pleasure.

Having sex on a hotel balcony wasn't in his risk repertoire _until … _


	5. Chapter 5 - A Balcony & The Lavatory

**Chapter 5 - A Balcony, Lavatory &amp; Reflections**

* * *

Callen's hands slid under Katie's nightshirt revealing basic white, high cut underwear. They would most certainly have to be removed but not quite yet. The super sexy sight of her buttocks moving to a steady rhythm as Katie rubbed her panty covered crotch against his shorts, was a wonderful way to end a long, tiring day. The tame escapade was the perfect prelude to what G. Callen was envisioning.

Gently placing her hands on the railing, removing her nightshirt and those plain but sexy on her undies, before fucking her from behind while steadying her jiggling breasts with his hands. He would then turn her around and guide her naked body across the balcony until her back was pressed against the cool, concrete wall. One of her tanned legs slung over his forearm, penetration would be slow and deep. Lips and tongues would meet; eyes would close slightly as erotic visions of the act seeped through fluttering eyelids coupled with the thought that someone might be _watching_ them.

Just as Callen was mentally preparing for what he would have happen next, Katie's voice deflated _everything._

"I'm going to bed now." With those words she was off him and out of his sight before he could say or do anything.

He wanted to go after her and confront her about what had just happened but he knew too well that she was trying to rest her mind from the exhaustion it had endured for the past six weeks and especially the past few days. It hadn't been too long ago that _he_ had wanted to do the same; vent his frustrations through sexual release using her. Cutting her some slack was the right thing to do given the circumstances. He had been so deep in thought he hadn't even noticed if she had "finished". He certainly hadn't.

Locking the sliding door behind him he climbed into bed next to her, the cool, crisp sheets a heavenly welcome. Sometimes people just need to hear comforting words.

"I love you," Callen whispered into her ear after his lips brushed across her cheek.

"And I love you," Katie replied before her eyes closed and she quickly drifted off to sleep, the warm body next to her unable to do the same.

Morning came too quickly and yet not soon enough. They were going home. Before boarding the plane Callen took a few extra moments getting their boarding passes. Katie knew what he was doing.

"You're spoiling me Mr. Callen."

His nose twitched. "Yes I am but _please_ never call me Mr. Callen again." _Only Hetty calls me that._

Too exhausted to question why, Katie made her way to the first-class cabin where a heavenly, black leather seat awaited her.

Shortly after take off, settled in for the flight to Amsterdam, a hot breakfast was enjoyed by the traveling duo. Never had airplane food tasted so good.

"You know there is a saying about not spending all of your money in one place or on one face," Katie offered as she sipped her steaming tea.

"Well, I didn't spend it all in one place, and," he savoured a few sips of his tea before continuing, "I can't think of a better face I want to spend it on."

"You're such a charmer."

"Yes I am. But our next trip together will be in the Northern _and_ Western Hemispheres. And, we'll both be sitting back there," he nodded to the coach section behind the blue curtain, "with the common folk." His sassy grin was all Katie needed to make her lingering fantasy a reality.

"I'm not feeling well. Can you come check on me in a few minutes?" Without further ado, she was out of her seat and headed for the first class lavatory.

Being a Federal Agent, G. Callen knew that becoming a "Mile High Club" member was highly frowned up by several airlines, and deemed illegal by some. He glanced around at the twelve, first class seats and counted five passengers. With two bathrooms for their own use at the front of the plane, Callen quickly made a decision, deducting that sex in an airplane bathroom was in his risk repertoire. After all, they were in first class. Yes, of course, that made all the difference.

"Kates," he whispered in front of the door he had seen her enter.

The latch slid across which gave him access to Katie sitting on the toilet. Both of them knew they had to get right to it but this position was not going to work. Katie might be flexible enough to try it but Callen wasn't. _And then …_ before he could offer another position suggestion his pants were undone and the pleasuring had begun. Silence was of the utmost importance, which was okay for Callen because he was trained to be stealthy. It wasn't long before he felt his impending climax build. She knew just the right way to stroke, suck and lick him. Although it was highly improbable, there were moments in the past where he had briefly thought that _she_ was enjoying performing oral sex on him more than _he_ was enjoying receiving it. _But not this time._ His eyes trained on her mouth, he sensed she was doing it out of obligation for not having finished him off before they were interrupted a few days before.

As he made his way back to his seat, Callen kept playing Katie's response, "I'm okay. You go back to your seat" to his asking, "What would you like?" after she had ensured the bathroom was left the way they found it. No matter how many times she took care of him with her mouth, every time was more incredible than the last. _Except this time._ It was good enough to make him cum hard and fast in her mouth … but something just wasn't right and as he approached his seat. As the flight attendant appeared with drinks and snacks, he put the uneasy feeling he was having to the back of his mind. After Katie returned and finished her refreshments, she pulled a blanket over her body and settled in for some sleep.

Callen was content with his headphones and the music selection from his phone to pass the time away. With wanting to erase the past few days from his mind, and the blowjob he was given out of obligation, he reflected on the weekend before they left for Kenya.

* * *

_Flashback_

The sun flickered through the trees as their bikes rolled over the well-worn trails. It had been a few years since Callen had been on a non-stationary bicycle but true to the familiar saying, he hadn't forgotten how to ride one. Forty minutes into their ride, Katie suggested they stop for drinks and snacks. Water and fruit were retrieved from her backpack and consumed as they sat on a bolder by a pond. At ten-thirty in the morning, it was relatively quiet except for the odd jogger and person walking their dog.

"This is very exhilarating," Callen said as he finished the first of his two bottles of water. "I guess I really have been a recluse, because I didn't even know these trails were here."

Katie's face lit up. She bit her bottom lip and held it for a moment before replying, "I will introduce you to many a new things Special Agent, G. Callen."

There went the last mouthful of water to the ground as he spit it out to avoid choking on it. He could have let the intended innuendo slide, had her face not been slightly flushed and a few beads of sweat weren't running down her neck. _And_ she wasn't wearing those black biking shorts that accentuated every delicious curve of her lower body.

"And what would some of those things be?" Callen challenged.

Katie tightened her grip on the plastic bottle in her right hand causing it to implode a bit and water filter over the top and onto her leg. "Wipe that off my leg please."

He tossed the empty bottle back in her backpack before leaning down and licking, very slowly, the droplets of water that were now settled at the top of her bent knee.

"How do you know something will be new to me?" Their eyes met, no indication of wavering.

"I think I know enough about you to determine if you're a first timer or not."

"Did you read that in _Cosmo_?" His hand moved to her thigh where it caressed the fabric that clung to it.

"Maybe."

"Everything with you will be a first time." The mood suddenly softened as his lips softly met hers.

"How do you do that?" Katie asked as her lips lightly brushed his.

"Do what?" His hand had moved from her thigh to her neck where it found a solid place at the back before deepening the kiss, which they got lost in until the need for oxygen overrode their passion.

Their breaths mingled, both of them taking in the air that had been scarce for a few minutes.

"Make me feel like the most desired woman in the world."

"Because you are –_by me."_

The next ninety minutes were spent exploring the trails before heading back to Callen's home. Quick showers were followed by lunch before heading off to the shooting range. Callen indulged Katie's curiosity by asking for several guns for her to try. The hour went too fast for Katie who had never held a gun before. Just before they removed their ear protection, she asked Callen to show her his shooting skills. He shook his head but then she said it would help ease her concerns about his job if she saw how he handled a gun. She was pleasantly surprised when the bullet-ridden target slowly made its way towards them.

"I'm keeping this," Katie stated as Callen removed it from the hanger and handed it to her.

When Katie's friend, Ashley, called and asked if she wanted to go out later, Callen was hesitant at first. He knew Katie had a life before she met him and still had one that didn't revolve around him. He would be the first to admit he loved when it was just the two of them. But he knew that wasn't fair to the other people in her life if he dominated her time. And he would soon be with her twenty-four hours a day for six weeks. It turned out to be a fun night and with Ashley's fiancé there, Callen didn't feel like a third wheel. Just after two in the morning, the taxi pulled into Callen's driveway. Slightly inebriated, Katie suggested they get to bed as they had a lot to do for their trip in the upcoming days. Callen agreed but after he turned the lock on the door once they were inside, he fell under her mind-altering spell. He could think of only one thing. Pulling her flush against his chest he surprised himself in not feeling the desire to kiss her.

"I want you."

Those were the only words spoken between them until Katie, one hand around the back of his neck, the other against the wall, being fucked, hard and fast by her lover, asked, no, make that _begged,_ for more.

"More. _Please._"

Comfort was the furthest thing from Katie's mind as her body endured the literal pounding given to her by the older man she was hopelessly in love with. This was raw lust and the fact her pants and underwear were pooled at her ankles, as were his pants, proved it.

Laying in bed, coming down for the alcohol buzzes and adrenaline from the tirade at the front door, Katie's thoughts were all over the place.

"You are obviously a good shot, but why were the holes not in one place on the paper?"

"I shoot at different places for different reasons. Head, chest and heart are to kill. Legs, arms and shoulders are to wound."

"That makes sense." She rolled over to face him, the room lit only by the bedside light. "It's reassuring to know that you can take care of yourself on the job."

"Look what I have to come home to." Neither of them was up for another round of sex but a mini make out session was the perfect ending to the day.

Sunday was filled with packing for their trip and although at their respective homes, several text messages and phone calls were made. Callen was finished in a few hours while Katie packed well into the evening before Katie "allowed" him to come over.

"You know I could have watched you pack," Callen said as they lay in her bed watching a movie.

"I wouldn't have gotten anything done."

"That's not true."

"You are in denial G. Callen." She turned off the TV as the credits rolled. "You need a hobby."

"Too distracting."

"That's the point of a hobby – to keep a person busy and focused."

"Actually, I do have a hobby. Keeps me very busy and I've never been more focused on anything in my life."

"So that's what I am to you, a hobby." She shook her head in pretend disbelief, "What am I going to do with you?"

And then he did the lopsided smile and rise of his eyebrows that she could _never_ resist.

Monday brought forth a more sombre mood as they visited Michelle's memorial site. Callen stood back allowing Katie some time alone before she reached out her hand asking him to come stand beside her. The black marble wall was the resting place to one hundred people; Michelle's near the top, on the left hand side. Katie had placed two yellow roses in the small bracket to the side of the engraved writing before "introducing" Callen to her best friend. Several minutes passed of Katie talking about life and ended with an "I love you and I miss you." They walked to a nearby bench where they sat and held hands, alone with their own thoughts before Callen drove Katie home and then headed back to his home.

So many people had come and gone in his life, he had become accustomed to it. But Sam Hanna had come into his life that late autumn day and was still in it several years later and every day, a little more. He didn't take Sam for granted but Callen sometimes forgot that The Big Guy needed Callen to be a friend, and not just when asked. With Katie now in his life, Callen had allowed his friendship with Sam be pushed to the side. Upon his return from Kenya and once settled back in at work, he would make time for his best friend.

Ever since he could remember, G. Callen dreamed of having a family he could call his own. Slowly he managed to amalgamate an eclectic group of people into it. From Hetty Lange with her never ending words of wisdom and endless famous quotes to the Hanna's who welcomed him into their home and lives with open arms. He thought of the jigsaw puzzle analogy he had given Katie and realized now that she was the final border piece. Every piece from that point on would be the center. Be it misplaced or lost pieces from his past or new ones from his future, together they would find a place for them among the few scattered pieces he already had in place.

* * *

The captain's voice informing passengers that the descent into Amsterdam was starting and to fasten their seat belts, brought Callen back to reality. A reality he wanted as Los Angeles and home was getting closer by the minute. A gentle shake of Katie's arm brought her back to reality as well. Sleep for her had been consumed with pleasant dreams but one look at the person touching her had Katie wishing she could close her eyes and go back to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6 - Home

**Chapter 6 - Home**

* * *

Katie silently cursed herself again for the hundredth time for being crazy enough to think she would be ready, mentally and physically, for the first day of her new job with only one week to recover from her trip. Although she gained several hours on the return flight, her body just wasn't functioning at full capacity. Concern for her friends on the other side of the world, still occupied her mind. Callen's frequent texting and phone calls to check up on her had become bothersome.

How many times would she have to say, _"I'm fine, I have a lot going on and need to stay focused, so no, it's not a good time for you to come over,"_ before he actually heard her? Apparently seven wasn't the magical number. His concern was endearing at first but there comes a time when that can turn to overbearing. And that was what happened when he showed up at her doorstep unannounced. His return to work would coincided with her first day at her new job and he knew time for them being together could be scarce in the upcoming months. Sure he had just spent six weeks with her but he already missed her. The exponential growth in their relationship while in Kenya had (apparently) meant different things to Katie and Callen.

Yoga in her living room the evening before she started her new job seemed like a good idea but left alone with her thoughts she struggled to benefit from the usually relaxing exercises. And the sound of the doorbell didn't help.

"Callen, what are you doing here?"

"Seeing you."

"I told you _several times_, I don't need any distractions." _Oh and what a distraction he was_. His striking blue eyes brightened by the rays of the setting sun. His perfectly set nose above his always-inviting-to-her lips curved slightly upward, surrounded by a budding five o'clock shadow. But it was that _fucking confidence_ that oozed from him that had her wavering. He remained silent as he made his way to the kitchen and poured a drink. That wasn't what bothered Katie. What happened next, did.

"Callen, I'm busy."

"That's fine, I'll wait." Leaning against the counter, sipping his drink, he was quite comfortable.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch me?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

Her next words came as a shock. Actually it was her tone, more so than the words.

"Do I need to let you fuck me so you can leave and I can get back to what I was doing?"

His self-confident demeanour instantly disappeared with her crude comment as his glass hit the counter causing her to body to jolt backwards.

Taking a few steps closer to her he hesitated a moment before speaking, staring her down so to speak. "I could do that." His eyes scanned her body. Oh yeah he _could_ do that. _But …._ "Neither of wants _or_ needs that right now."

Her stiffened body relaxed, eyelids flickering, waiting for his next words.

"I just wanted to _see_ you. But apparently you don't share that feeling."

"Callen, I told you I'm …"

He interrupted her, "Busy. I'm aware of that." He pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, swiped the screen and displayed their recent texts. "Sorry I bothered you _Kathryn._

He wasn't upset, mad or angry. He was hurt.

"Callen?"

He stopped short of opening the front door and turned to face her.

"Thank you for coming by. I'm glad you didn't listen to me."

He tried to laugh it off but the words that came out were driven by his feelings, "I'm not."

Now what? She couldn't afford to have this weighing her down with the start of her new job the next day. She hadn't wanted to see him but she should have at least not been such a bitch about it. When she opened the front door he was standing at the end of the driveway. Ah yes, he wouldn't get his car back until tomorrow.

"Do you want a ride?" Katie called out.

He glanced up from his phone, "Called a cab."

She slowly made her way to him, not wanting or needing this awkwardness between them.

"I'm sorry I was such a bitch. I'm not coping as well as I thought would with everything." Her head dropped, embarrassed with how she had treated him and how she wasn't the strong, level headed person she usually was.

"Your comment really hurt, Katie. Why would you think I only wanted to see you to have sex?"

"I wasn't thinking."

"No you weren't. I thought we could talk about anything. Something is clearly bothering you."

"We can. I just …" she turned her head away.

"I know things can be overwhelming at times but you don't have to handle them alone."

The reassuring look in his eyes and the smile reserved only for her had her releasing the small breath she was holding.

"I know that. I just wanted some time alone." She looked into his eyes.

"That's all you had to say. I'm a big boy; I can accept that."

She was getting agitated and Callen noticed.

"Hey, you're going to be great tomorrow. And everyday after that._ They're_ lucky to be getting you."

"Thanks. I was having some doubts. Guess I'm still adjusting to the time difference and …"

"And what?"

"I'm worried about Kaisa. That she won't get the help she needs. I wish we could have stayed a few more days, you know, so I could talk to her." The relief she felt saying that aloud refreshed her.

"Oh Katie. I never even thought about that." He pulled her into a hug, glancing over her shoulder to see the taxi approach the driveway. He raised his hand and one finger and the driver moved a little further along.

"She will be okay. Her family will make sure of that."

"I hope you're right." Katie pulled out of the hug.

"You do know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Callen said as he wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I know. I just knew there wasn't anything we could do about it."

"Faith, Katie. Have faith in Kamaria and Jabari."

"That I can do. Thanks."

"Anytime." He leaned forward for a kiss with his hand cupping her cheek, but Katie shook her head and nodded to the cab driver.

"I'm sure he's seen more in the back of his cab," was his reply as he kissed her despite the mini protest. "Go inside."

Katie walked back inside and after she turned the deadbolt, she heard the car door close outside and watched through the window as the taxi drove off.

Feeling much more relaxed; Katie went about getting ready for the next day. Just before she turned off the light beside her bed, her phone beeped.

_Good night &amp; Sweet dreams –G_

She replied with_ Good night &amp; sweet dreams –K_

She shook her head, silently kicking herself in the ass for worrying about something she had no control over. As the room went dark, instead of thinking about unpleasant things, she decided to count her blessings. And at the top of that bountiful list, was G. Callen. He usually referred to himself as Callen so the _G_ at the end of his text was nice to see. It reassured Katie that things were going to be okay and she just needed to keep moving forward, staying focused on all of the good things in her life. Memories of Kenya would be those of happy times and not of the evil that entered her friend's lives and even though only for a very brief time, her life.


	7. Chapter 7 - A Picnic for Two

**Chapter 7 – A Picnic for Two**

* * *

"This is perfect," Katie announced as Callen filled her glass with more non-alcoholic champagne.

"I thought it would be a nice way to unwind after the long week we both had at work."

"An evening picnic in your backyard is just what I needed." She leaned over her plate of food and kissed him softly on the lips.

They finished the food Callen had prepared, salad, buns, cheese and fruit.

"I see you're still going to the grocery store," Katie stated as she enjoyed the juicy watermelon.

Callen was pleased with himself for not eating out as much as he did before he met Katie. "I actually feel better now with more varieties of food going in me. And it's self gratifying to cook."

Varying topics of conversation were all over the place that evening as they relaxed, enjoyed the food and each other's company.

"I was wondering if you could help me with something?" Katie asked hoping she wasn't overstepping any lines.

"I'll try. What is it?"

"Sending things to Kamaria is a little more difficult than I thought it would be. I need some help."

"Anything specific?"

"Shipping. I can get everything together but after making a few calls, it appears that Kenya Customs has a way of denying items into the country that might hinder the views some people of importance may have. You wouldn't by any chance know someone at US Customs?"

"Actually I do. I can't make any guarantees but he should be able to help ensure Kamaria gets them."

"Really?" Katie's audible sigh of relief filled the air.

"It's for a good cause. And I know how much it means to you to be able to do this for her and the other villagers."

"It is important. I know this will help and everything someone does to assist the village is a step forward. Thank you. I was starting to doubt that I wouldn't be able to keep my promise to her."

"It might take some time but there shouldn't be a problem."

The calm, night air had both of them relaxed and in a talkative mood. Well, Katie more so than Callen.

"How come you haven't talked about what happened in Kenya?"

The mellowed out G. Callen lying on his side eating and drinking with his beautiful girlfriend, slowly vanished with the asking of that question.

"What is there to talk about?" He replied.

"It was obviously quite intense or Jabari would have let me see Kamaria when we first went to see her."

"Let's leave that in the past, okay? There's no need to dwell on it. It happened, it's over and Kamaria and Kaisa are okay. That's all there is to know." He paused a moment before continuing, "It's not like we didn't know that those things happen over there."

"Those things? There are several things we were aware of."

"Katie, please. Let it go." He met her eyes with trepidation, but knew she would be obstinate in her questioning, "Do you _really_ want to know _exactly _what happened?" His emphasis on exactly held Katie's stare and attention.

The question rolled through her mind several times and Callen could tell she was fighting with what she wanted to answer. Despite not being ignorant to the happenings that often occurred in Kenya, there was a world of difference between knowing about them and actually witnessing or hearing details about them.

"No I don't."

He nodded in relief that she wasn't going to press him for the horrid details. Instead, she managed to bring up yet another sensitive topic.

"Why it hasn't affected you? You obviously know more than I do."

"Some days I don't know if it's a good or bad thing but I'm able to compartmentalize things like that and not have my feelings show."

Katie Mitchell wore her heart on her sleeve, so unlike the Special Agent.

"It's okay to show emotions. It's not a sign of weakness."

"More like a sign of vulnerability. And I learned very young that is not what you want to show the people around you."

"You know they mean the same thing, right?" Katie asked.

"People will use your weaknesses directly against you but your vulnerabilities will be gnawed at slowly. Trust me, there's a difference."

Katie finished the last of her drink, moving the conversation in another direction as she noticed Callen becoming slightly agitated. She didn't' want to ruin their wonderful evening with talk of things he was clearly not ready to share with her.

"No alcohol tonight," she said pointing to her glass.

"Don't need it. Your beauty intoxicates me."

They both stared at each other intensely before breaking out into laughter.

"Where do you come up with these things?" Katie asked trying to gain her composure.

"You're not the only one who reads." Callen felt his face warm.

"Apparently not. But just so you know, I prefer the things you say from your heart."

With no intention on Callen's part to go beyond a kiss or two that night, the kiss that ensued, on the blanket, under the crescent moon lit sky tested that intention. Katie had moved so there was no food or drinks between them. Her hands around his back, his hands steady on the ground kept them upright. One slip of his hands …oh the possibilities that could occur. The warm night air blowing over their naked bodies as they rolled around on the blanket exploring a variety of positions before Katie settled on top, facing away from him. His body ached for her but that night was about enjoying being with each other in an emotional aspect. The sex was incredible and he could make love to her every day (and night) but they were so much more than that. And for them to keep building layers to their relationship, sex would sometimes have to be put aside for other aspects to be nurtured.

"Would you like another drink?" Callen asked as he very reluctantly separated their bodies.

Katie held out her glass, "I have to go to San Diego for two weeks on Sunday for training."

"Well good thing we did this tonight then."

Relaxed and enjoying the quiet night outdoors, Katie talked about her job and how it was everything she had expected and that she was really looking forward to getting out in the field as the first week was spent learning the ins and outs of how things worked.

"That's enough about me, how was your first week back?"

A sly smile crept onto his face, "Apparently I _am_ replaceable."

"Oh no what happened?" Katie asked unsure how to read Callen's facial expression.

"Sam's temporary partner made quite an impression on him and the team. He seemed less than thrilled that I was back."

"Oh Callen. I'm sorry…"

Callen cut her off, " Can you believe it? He said that he was a better driver than me!"

Katie caught on to Callen's false pity story. "You're a good driver Callen but it is possible that this guy is a better one."

"You're supposed to be on my side." The pouting of his luscious lips was a great temptation, but Katie tried her best not to allow him to bait her into kissing them. "He _never_ lets me drive his car."

"Do you let him drive _your _car?" His pout disappeared. "I will take that as a no then."

The rest of the food was enjoyed before Callen pushed Katie on the wooden swing, which still had the small "G" carved on the underside of it. Fond stories were shared and memories recalled of their childhood before cleaning up and taking everything inside. Callen walked Katie to her car and before he could give her a final good night kiss, Katie asked him another question.

"Are we past the 'honeymoon stage' in our relationship?"

"What?"

"We haven't seen each other all week and you barely touched me tonight."

He pulled her close. "I thought it would be good for us to spend time together without having sex."

"Is that because of the comment I made last week?"

"Sort of. "

"You know I don't have any problems with you wanting me, right?"

"Yes, I know that. And I don't have any problems with you wanting me. Having a little restraint once in a while can be good for a person."

"A _little_ restraint?"

"Okay, _a lot_ of restraint."

Leaning against her car, Katie couldn't help but just look at Callen. There was so much more to him than his handsome, rugged exterior. Not that she had ever thought he was just a pretty face. There seemed to be so many layers to him. Would she ever see them all? Would she _want_ to see them all?

"You don't have to leave. Callen's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"I know. I am so torn right now. I _want_ to stay but I still have things to catch up on from being away, and now with the training out of town, I have to get ready for that.

"I understand. Don't like it, but I understand. Can I have a kiss goodnight?"

"Hold that thought. I have to return some things to the restaurant Sunday morning and the staff is having a brunch for me before it opens to celebrate my new job. I just found out Wednesday. You can come if you want. They have great pancakes."

The smile that formed on his lips lit up his face. "How can I say no to pancakes?"

"You can't."

Kissing her was still the best thing ever. So many nerve endings in lips, wonderful sensations abound were always promised. Lips finally parted, they couldn't look away. Staring at each other their eyes saying what voices couldn't, their lives continuing to mesh together, a future as a couple more evident as each day passed.


	8. Chapter 8 - Instinct

**Chapter 8 - Instinct**

* * *

Callen spent some time with Sam, Michelle and Rachel at the park on Saturday while Katie tended to the things she needed to get done. Rachel was delighted to see her soccer ball being enjoyed by the children in Kenya as she watched the video on Callen's phone. She had been looking forward to seeing Callen _and_ Katie but soon forgot about her 'Uncle's' missing companion when he offered to play goalie on the soccer field. When Sam teamed up with Rachel and the ball started coming at him harder, Michelle offered assistance. The agility and talents of the youngest and oldest Hanna's had the first time goalie quickly surrendering. When Rachel said she was hungry, Sam offered to take her to her favourite restaurant and invited Callen. He accepted.

Sitting beside Rachel and across from Sam and Michelle, Callen's thoughts wandered. He wondered if his and Katie's relationship would survive the test of time like the Hanna's had after several years of marriage. Although Sam was reluctant for Michelle to go back to work after Rachel was born, he knew who and what she was before they fell in love and got married. Having Rachel did have Michelle hanging up her gun and badge but it was in her blood to be out in the field, just as it was in Callen's. The brief taste she had when Sidarov came back to town had Michelle craving more. But for now, she and Sam agreed that her focus would stay with Rachel at least for a few more years.

Just as their meal had been served, dark clouds drifted in over the city, and Rachel asked if they could all watch a movie with lots of popcorn when they got home. The three adults looked at each other with wariness as it was a given that the only movie played in the Hanna home in the past six months was _Frozen_. Callen was a newcomer to the current phenomenon but Sam and Michelle could recite lines in their sleep. Surprisingly, Callen enjoyed the movie and chatted with Rachel about her favourite parts while her parents nodded and smiled with mock enthusiasm. After pizza was ordered and several rounds of kids' card games were played, Michelle and Rachel headed off to bed after Sam asked Callen if he wanted to watch the basketball game with him. It was always a pleasure seeing Michelle and Rachel but Callen also liked one on one time with his best friend. He had never had a true best friend until Sam and felt comfortable around him.

"You'll be a great dad G." Sam's words surprised him and the expression on his face revealed it. "Parenting requires a lot of patience," he nodded to the DVD case on the coffee table.

"Thanks." Had the comment come from anyone else he might have doubted the sincerity of the words. "How many times have you seen it?"

"I can't count that high."

They both laughed but the awe in which Rachel watched the movie was worth every line Sam could say word for word.

Sam noticed his friend was getting a little anxious and when the younger man started rubbing his thumb and forefinger together on his right hand, it was confirmed. "Want to talk about it?"

"Yeah, I do. There was a _situation_ two days before we left Kenya."

"I hope this didn't involve you naked and an unrecognizable injury." Sam's quick wink and toothless grin had Callen rolling his eyes.

"It wasn't anything like that." His tone returned to serious mode, "I helped neutralize a _situation_." Sam's dark eyes darted to his friend's light blue ones. "Katie was affected by it, well, by what I told her about it, which wasn't much. It caused some tension between us."

Sam sensed Callen wanted to continue, so he leaned back on the couch, sipped his drink and listened.

"It didn't affect me and she asked why." Sam nodded in understanding the ability to cover up reactions and feelings. Callen glanced towards the stairs to make sure they were still alone, "How much does Michelle know about you?"

Sam's slightly contorted face told Callen more was needed before even attempting to answer that question.

"I've told Katie a lot about myself and she's been great with it all. She also understands there are many things I can't share with her." He paused a moment thinking of the _long_ list of things he hadn't told anyone about. "And then there all the things I'm not sure I will ever be able to tell her."

"Michelle and I share a lot but not everything. Aside from the 'top secret' stuff, there are some things that are just better left unsaid." Callen needed more and being intuitive about his partner's needs, Sam continued. "Neither of us has to go far in imagining some of the things that have happened to the other person." Sam was spot on with his next sentence, " It's natural to be curious but Katie isn't one of us so she might take your reluctance as a sign that you don't trust her."

"I'm crazy about her Sam…but every time she asks me a question about my past or job, and there have been many of them, I can't help but wonder if my rule about not dating cops was a good one."

"There would still be things you couldn't tell a cop or an Agent."

"True, but what happens when she_ needs_ to know more, you know, about my childhood?"

"G, I've know you a _long_ time, saved your ass on a weekly basis and I still know next to nothing about it."

A smile tugged at Callen's lips, "I think that was a touché."

Sam nodded.

"I can't lose her Sam. I can't do this again. Expose myself the way I have to her."

Sam was a bit confused, "So you're doubting how Katie feels about you?"

"No, I'm confident with that. You know that 'gut feeling' we get? The one that no matter how good things are, we sense something will come too light and will ruin it all." He stood to stretch, "I just can't shake this feeling that she's going to learn something about me and won't be able to deal with it."

And there it was, G. Callen trying to break something that was solidly built, "Honestly G, I can't say that I've ever had that feeling with Michelle."

"When I told Katie I had this feeling she shrugged it off and said she had enough faith for both of us and that all would be okay. Even after that, I still can't shake the feeling." Callen knew he was starting to ramble and just when he thought he would leave the Hanna home more worried than ever, Sam spoke.

"You've got a good thing with Katie. I've seen the way you look at her and any woman should be so lucky to have those baby blues pointed in her direction." It was weird having his best friend tell him he had nice eyes but he remained quiet as Sam continued. "And I've seen the way she looks at you." Sam chose to add some more humour to the conversation, "If she can deal with your _many_ idiosyncrasies, like your interesting food choices, very simple wardrobe and lack of material possessions, I'd say she is capable of playing any hand dealt to her."

"Thanks man but not for _those_ comments," he said as he shook his head at Sam's direct humour approach, "but for the reassurance. I seem to need a lot of it."

"Hey, that's what friends do. And G?"

"Yeah?"

"Relax! It takes years to build up to what Michelle and I have. It'll come for you and Katie, but instead of worrying about something that may never happen, enjoy what is happening right now."

Callen's tension eased with Sam's further reassuring words so he thanked him for an enjoyable day and left for home. Right now things were good, _really good_ but being older and a bit wiser than Katie, Callen couldn't help but feel superior in his knowledge that a person's (less than desirable) past inevitably comes back to haunt them and more often than not, destroy whatever goodness they have achieved in their life. Callen had lived so long in the past he forgot to live for the present. Then Katie came along and living in the present slowly started to happen and it was all that he had dreamed of. Heck, he was even thinking about his future -with her! But then…that _fucking_ feeling of impending doom crept (back) into his life and if he didn't kick its sorry ass out of his head _now,_ he would be back to where he had been before he fell in love with the woman who was taking him where he had always been destined to go.


	9. Chapter 9 - A Mouth & Two Hands

**Chapter 9 - A Mouth &amp; Two Hands**

* * *

_Sunday Morning_

Katie arrived at the Sunset Bar &amp; Grill just after 9am and was greeted by her former co-workers with hugs and words of congratulations. Although she had only been there a short time, it was customary to have a little send-off party for those who were moving on into their career of choice. Many University students worked the restaurant/bar scene to help pay the bills, some of them for as long as four years.

Just before she sat down her eye caught the handsome man walking towards her. A brief hug and kiss took place before Callen was introduced to everyone. Katie enjoyed being waited on while she and the others chatted about her job and several other things with Callen joining in. She noticed his eyes widen when a jumbo stack of pancakes was placed in front of him. Her smile and wink informed him it was her doing and he thanked her with a nod of his head before preparing his favourite breakfast food with maple syrup, raspberries and strawberries.

Laughter and chatter filled the room until the manager informed them that they were opening in twenty minutes. Katie thanked everyone and graciously accepted a card signed by everyone and a small, silver-serving tray engraved with her name.

"I'll miss the interaction with the people," Katie said as she and Callen walked to their cars. She thought a moment, "Well most of them."

"Did you have a favourite customer?" Callen asked as they stopped beside her car at the back of the parking area.

"No not really," was her casual reply as she placed her stuff in the back seat and then turned to face him.

"You know what I love most about you today?" His hands found their way to her hips and settled into the curves.

"My witty sense of humour?"

He shook his head, "The way your smile makes me feel."

"And how is that?" she asked as her hands circled around his shoulders and neck.

"Loved."

The single but powerful word had their lips touching immediately. The things they wanted to do to each other were not permissible in public so they kept it sweet and tender.

"You know what I love most about you today?" Katie asked, their faces a few inches apart.

"What?" No smart-ass comment this time.

"The way your eyes are telling me everything your voice isn't."

"What are they telling you right now?"

No hesitation on her part as it was what she wanted as well; "You want to follow me home."

"Beautiful_ and_ a mind reader."

"I should warn you now that," she lowered her voice to barely a whisper, "_intercourse_ isn't going to happen." His beautiful, blue eyes widened. "A woman issue."

"But I thought you didn't get_ that_ with your birth control."

"I don't, it's something else."

"Is everything okay?" His voice trembled slightly at the thought of something not being all right with her.

"Everything is fine. It's just one of those wonderful perks of being a woman."

"Katie, what are we, you know…?"

She placed her mouth close to his ear, "I have a mouth and two hands that are just fine."

_Oh Fuck!_

With that she opened her car door, closed it, started it and before putting it into drive, rolled down her window and informed him to use his key if he got there first.

* * *

_Hands. Mouth._ With no shortage of scenarios that his mind conjured up with those two words, he wasn't the least bit surprised that he had made it to her house before she did. A few moments later, the black Mustang, that was her pride and joy, pulled up beside him. Smiles were shared, words unspoken. He stood silently and most of all anxiously, as she went about putting her things away before taking his hand and leading them to her bedroom. Everything was good until she removed her clothes and left him with a visual of her natural beauty – clad only in matching panties and bra. They were some shade of blue. He knew that was all that would be exposed to him that afternoon, so he focused on the smooth, tanned skin, with voluptuous curves in all the right places.

With a slowness that both turned him on and (slightly) frustrated him, his clothing was removed with her mouth and those two hands that he knew would soon be touching him in places that were reserved for only her. The provocative licks of her tongue over the bulge in his boxer-briefs tested his restraint like never before. From standing position, the expanse view of her back had his full attention _until_ … that mouth of hers took to removing his underwear slowly down his legs. She wouldn't have him helping so he tortuously waited until he was 'allowed' to kick them off once down at his feet.

Katie enjoyed performing oral sex on Callen and many things contributed to the satisfaction she received from the act. The deep, throaty moans he made when she hit a particular sensitive spot, his hand on her head encouraging deeper insertions and the way her name coarsely rolled off his tongue. This time was all about showing him how much she appreciated him. She called it _Callen Appreciation Day._ Well aware of his liking to watch, his head propped up by a pillow at the top of the bed was the perfect beginning. After changing _her_ position a few times Katie moved to the reverse position they were unable to reap the benefits from in Kenya before they were forced to stop. Lying on her stomach, her ministrations were seductively intense. When she looked up at him with those sweet, blue eyes, his cock in her mouth, he had to pull out for a moment to ensure this intensely intimate act wasn't going to end anytime soon. Taking that brief moment of interruption in her attentions, Katie rolled to her back and with her head slightly hanging over the edge of the bed, waited for Callen to allow her to resume her pleasuring of him. Two seconds, if that, passed before he slid his cock back into her mouth.

* * *

"What time do you have to leave?" Callen asked as he lay cuddled up with Katie on her bed.

"My ride is coming at three."

"Your ride?"

"My manager is going as well."

"Good."

"You worry about me?"

"I like to use the word concerned."

"Well, thank you for being concerned, but you don't have to be."

"I know, but it's just a part of who I am. I wor- … I'm concerned about those I care about when they're not in my presence."

"Like I said before, everyone needs a G. Callen in their life." She lifted her head and kissed him.

"I think everyone needs a Kathryn Mitchell in their life." His hand moved up and down her arm, fingertips on the way up, nails on the way down.

"_Mmmm_ … I like that."

"As much as you liked what you did earlier?"

"Massaging your back? Yeah I liked that. You have nice ass."

"What?"

"I liked straddling your ass. It's very… squishy."

"Squishy?"

"Yeah, squishy."

He couldn't help but laugh, "You are one of a kind Katie." His smirk disappeared as quickly as it had formed. "I thought giving me a blow job would have been what you liked best."

His use of the slang words had her sitting up. "I like when you talk dirty, but you _aren't_ getting another one."

"After that massage, on my back, I don't think I could get it up. You have _very_ talented hands Miss Mitchell."

* * *

"Call me when you get to your hotel?" Callen hated saying goodbye to Katie but such was life, and she had worked long and hard for this job.

"I will." She too hated saying goodbye even it was only for two weeks, especially when their relationship was steadily growing into what they both saw as a lifetime together.

"Do you know how much I love you, Katie?"

"A whole bunch?" was her reply as she was pulled into his embrace.

"Yeah. A whole lot of bunches." Life was good. No, make that, life was great. And in two weeks Katie would be in full swing at her new job, he was settled back in his after the six-week suspension and they would continue making a life together.

"Do you know how much I love you G. Callen?"

He glanced up at the sky, "To the moon and back?"

"To the moon and back, one hundred times."

"I love you Katie, always and forever."

"And I love you G, forever and always."


	10. Chapter 10 - Two Red Balloons, Part One

**Chapter 10 - Two Red Balloons**

**A/N: **A _**big**_ thank-you to _Gina Callen_ for giving me the inspiration for this chapter!

* * *

The drive to San Diego went quickly as soon as Katie and Taryn left the insane traffic of Los Angeles. They talked about various things and were both looking forward to their training but even more, getting to back to work. The backlog of cases was mounting which was a good thing if you can call it that. It kept them employed and doing what they loved but on the darker side it meant that another child was in need of their help.

After arriving at their hotel and checking into their (separate) rooms, Katie called Callen, talked for a few minutes, and then she headed off for a late dinner with her new boss. Taryn was twenty-six, married and lived a few miles from Katie. As manager, Taryn felt strongly about team work and even though she couldn't 'force' the employees working for her to be friends, it was expected they be civil to each other and remember that they are all there for the same reason: help kids through what, for some of them, will be the most traumatic time of their lives. When Taryn had been given the final two names for the assistant manager position, Katie's file stood out for one reason: her volunteer work had stretched back to when she was twelve years old.

The first week went well with the training that took them from role-playing workshops to a 'field trip' to a local Women's Shelter. They would take the kids of mother's staying there out for some fun time while the mom had counselling or just took some time to gather her thoughts and get help on where to go next. Although Katie had seen many situations over the years from mild too extreme, none could compare to the ones where the neglect and abuse had run rampant for far too long before it was reported. Keeping from getting overly emotionally involved was a challenge for Katie at times, but in the end she prevailed.

She couldn't help but think about Callen on the drive back to the hotel. His childhood had been tumultuous and yet he had turned out quite well. She knew some details about what he endured in foster care but they were sketchy and despite his life turning around for the best, she couldn't help but wonder what things he _hadn't_ told her. Knowing everything about him wasn't required but a little more _substance_ would most likely keep helping her understand what makes him the man he is. He had talked about his male mentor but she had often wondered what positive female influences he had growing up. Callen hadn't volunteered anything about it and given that his mom had died when he was quite young; Katie felt it best to leave the subject untouched..._for now._

It didn't take long for her mind to wander to more pleasant thoughts about the man she dreaded saying goodbye to seven days ago. How fortunate was she to have such a remarkable man in her life? _"Very fortunate"_ she thought as Taryn pulled into the reserved parking space at their hotel.

"I'm heading to my room for a hot shower and then bed," Taryn stated as they walked through the lobby.

Katie agreed, said goodnight and proceeded to her room. Upon entry she smelled a fragrance that was not from anything she had brought with her. Once the light she turned on illuminated the room she was startled to see a bouquet of flowers on the table by the window. The room had been made up so she thought housekeeping had left them as a courtesy for guests. As she approached them, she noticed a card sticking out.

_Miss you_

She recognized the handwriting immediately. The mix of yellow and red roses should have been an instant giveaway as to whom the sender was, but being extremely tired, it had been an oversight on her part. Katie pulled her phone from her bag and sent a text.

_They're beautiful - Miss you too_

The text seemed impersonal but had she called him, the sound of his voice would have had their conversation continuing way past her bedtime and she needed a good night's sleep to be ready for the even more intense second week of training. And it having been a _long_ time since they made love, she was certain the conversation would have turned into phone sex of some sort and she hadn't the energy to participate. Perhaps her dreams would take care of that.

The following week was tiring but also extremely rewarding for Katie and Taryn, giving them new techniques to use when dealing with specific situations where traditional methods didn't prevail. A half-day session on Friday at the hotel wrapped up their training and by one o'clock they were on their way back to Los Angeles where a retirement party was being held for the long time manager Taryn was replacing. It was expected that all staff attend. Eager to get home, it was agreed a mandatory but short appearance would be made by Katie who learned that the retiring employee loved the color red, which explained the color theme. The two women stayed well past the agreed upon time but it was worth it to hear the heartfelt speech given by their predecessor.

The eagerness for Katie to get home, was instantly replaced with turmoil and the surfacing of a suppressed memory when someone popped the two read balloons that had been tied to the table the cake was on. Her body froze into a numbness that contradicted her increased heart rate and warp-speed thoughts that travelled back to that day in Kenya when…

_Oh my god! The shirt. The shorts. The two red balloons on the door across from our room…_

She squeezed her eyes shut. Feet still grounded, she took a deep breath and upon exhaling, opened them only to realize it was _him_. She tried not to blink, as the images would then again become vivid. Shaking her head didn't make them go away.

_The man I shared a bed with…was the one standing over the body_

The pit of her stomach ached as she ran to the bathroom, the people around her a blur, the words from Taryn's mouth incoherent. After emptying the contents of her stomach and splashing cold water on her face, the nausea remained.

* * *

_Friday Afternoon, OSP_

"Can't Deeks and Kensi go?" Callen was as surprised with the pleading tone of his voice as Hetty was.

"No Mr. Callen, they can't. Are you going to continue to question my decision or are you going to catch up with your partner so you can get to your destination _on time?_

G. Callen was assertive and stubborn, not stupid. He turned on his heels and called out for his partner, who stopped near the doorway as his partner approached. The shake of Sam's head was enough for Callen to offer a forced smile as they left the building.

The Challenger rolled along the highway, the partners making small talk until Sam altered the mood.

"Being away from loved ones is always tough G. It never gets easier no matter how long you've been on the job."

Callen glanced over at his partner who was driving the Challenger to the site of their current investigation. "It was that obvious, eh?"

"Hopefully it won't take long. Maybe the pitiful look on your face and puppy dog sadness in your eyes will have the bad guys surrendering right away."

"You should have been a comedian, you're _that_ funny."

Still a few miles out from their destination, Callen sent Katie a text to inform her of his inability to see her that evening or the next several days. Although making long, sweet passionate love to her was at the top of his things to do with her list, the exploring of other interests was also on that list. As he tucked his phone back into his jacket pocket it _really_ hit him that this was the first time in his life that he had a loved one (outside of work) in his life. "She's the reason I look forward to going home at the end of the day." Callen stared out the window, not focusing on anything in particular, "First time I've ever had that feeling."

"Absence does make the heart grow fonder G." Sam caught the rolling of Callen's eyes after a quick glance towards his partner. "You ever listen to country music, the classics, Johnny Cash, Charley Pride?" Callen instinctively reached for the power button on the dashboard just in case Sam had a CD ready to illustrate whatever point he was going to make. "My dad used to play Charley Pride songs all the time. His favourite was _Kiss An Angel Good Morning_." Callen had heard of the singer but not the song. "Whenever that song came on he would tell me to listen to the lyrics _very carefully_." Callen removed his hand from the button, sat back and listened to what his, often very wise, partner had to say. After his partner sang a few lines, Callen heard the message loud and clear.

_You've got to kiss an angel good morning_

_And let her know you think about her when you're gone_

_Kiss an angel good morning and love her like the devil when you get back home__*****_

Callen remembered when Kamaria gave Katie the Swahili name _dhahabu malaika_. He smiled at the fact that he wasn't the only one who thought she reminded him of an angel. He had been very much looking forward to seeing her that night. But work once again took care of that not happening. As soon as this assignment was over he _would_ be speaking to Hetty about that aspect of his job. It was no longer a_ need_ in his life to get away from the real G. Callen. He was liking who he was and what he had to offer Katie. Their relationship was great. It was blossoming and he wanted to keep it that way. Being away at random times for weeks or even months at a time would eventually take a toll on it. It was a given, no matter how many times Katie reassured him (and herself) that she was able to handle it.

Planning further ahead than twenty-four hours was something new to him - _and he liked it!_ Stability wasn't something life had ever offered him, well, except for the paycheque he garnered every two weeks. Shifting his eyes towards Sam he knew without doubt he wanted the look he saw in the dark eyes whenever his wife and kids were mentioned. The look that conveyed love, pride, happiness and most of all, purpose. Purpose in his life that went beyond the walls of the NCIS Office of Special Projects.

As Sam pulled into the staff parking lot at Oakville Prison, Callen glanced at his phone one last time before putting it in the glove box.

"Get in, get out, and get home." Those were the words he uttered as Sam led him to the entrance where G. Callen would be transformed into a White Supremacist named Steven Walinski, who also happened to be skilled at (successfully) robbing banks. It was also where he would have Kathryn Mitchell leave his mind and replace her with not only another woman, his literal partner in crime, Kensi Blye but the thoughts and beliefs that made him want to vomit and run really fast in the other direction. Little did he know that enduring time with people who still lived with their heads in the sand (and armed with automatic weapons) would pale in comparison to what awaited G. Callen when he returned to his life in Los Angeles.

* * *

**_*_**_Song Lyrics written by Ben Peters, recorded by Charley Pride_


	11. Chapter 11 -Two Red Balloons, Part Two

**Chapter 11 - Two Red Balloons, Part Two**

* * *

Callen's days of being away were at seventeen and Katie continued to struggle daily with the surfacing of the troubling memory from Kenya. She tried to rationalize it but every time she thought she was _there_, something else would trigger another bout of anxiety and the unsettling question of whether or not she could maintain a relationship with Callen.

Having been trained to look for signs of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in children, a glimmer of hope came to her that Monday afternoon, seventeen days since "the" memory unleashed itself from the dark corner of her mind.

Cindy was a twelve-year-old girl who witnessed the attempted strangulation of her mother by her father. The dark haired girl with emerald green eyes admitted to Katie what troubled her most about what had happened.

Cindy didn't understand how the hands of the man that she loved, trusted, and admired could do that to the woman he vowed to love. And how the hands that had protected her, made sure she crossed the street safely and fed her as a baby, could hurt another human being. The image of his darker, large, strong hands against the paler skin of the much smaller woman plagued her nightly.

By day, the flashbacks were (mostly) kept at bay by being at school with her friends. The visions were prone to come out at nighttime, the time of day when the incident occurred. Her foster parents tried their best to console her and most nights they were successful, but the nights they weren't had little sleep coming to any of them.

After Cindy's appointment, which was the last of the day for Katie, she packed up her bag and was ready to go home when she saw Taryn in her office. She needed someone to talk to and finally felt the courage to do that. Her first and foremost choice was Callen but he was unavailable and couldn't be contacted. Her mother and best friend would have been the only other two people she would have talked to about _this_. Katie was hesitant to talk to Mike before she talked to Callen. As Taryn listened to the outline of what had happened, it became obvious to both women that Katie needed to talk to a professional about her most likely having PTSD. Taryn gave her the card of a psychologist who specialized in it and after a reminder that she could call her anytime, night or day to talk, Katie went home.

Settled on the couch with her laptop, she made notes on what she was feeling as she knew these things would be asked when she saw the psychologist – and it was also proven to be therapeutic for people to write out their thoughts and feelings, even if no one else ever read them. She decided to approach the task in a 'clinical way', which was the most effective way to evaluate her symptoms and (if needed) what treatment would be most successful.

* * *

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

1\. Re-Experiencing symptoms:

-Flashbacks, with or without racing heart and/or sweating - YES

-Bad dreams - YES

-Frightening thoughts - YES

2\. Avoidance symptoms:

-Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience – Currently N/A

-Feeling emotionally numb - YES

-Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry - YES

-Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past - N/A

Having trouble remembering the dangerous event - NO!

3\. Hyper arousal symptoms:

-Being easily startled - NO

-Feeling tense or "on edge" – YES, Mostly in evening/at night.

-Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts – YES

_ASD (Acute Stress Disorder)_

This is possible but I have yet to see a doctor or been able to talk to Callen and based on how I feel right now, I don't see things getting any better, anytime soon.

_To be diagnosed with PTSD, a person must have all of the following for at least one month_

-At least one re-experiencing symptom - YES

-At least three avoidance symptoms - YES

-At least two hyper arousal symptoms -YES

_Risk factors_

Seeing people hurt or killed – YES!

Resilience factors that may reduce the risk of PTSD include:

-Seeking out support from other people, such as friends and family – The only two people I would have talked to about this are dead! Since the instigator of my turmoil is unavailable for who the fuck knows how long, I had to turn to a virtual stranger because I had to talk to _someone!_

-Finding a support group after a traumatic event – And where would I find a support group for people of loved ones who kill people for a living?

-Feeling good about one's own actions in the face of danger – I hid in my room while the man I love snapped a man's neck like it was a twig! And I didn't do anything to help my friends, one of whom was a twelve-year-old girl. No I don't feel good about my actions.

-Having a coping strategy, or a way of getting through the bad event and learning from it - Coping? Learning from it? I need to confront the person responsible! Learn from it? What I learned is that I have been sleeping with a man who is capable of taking another person's life in a second with his bare hands.

-Being able to act and respond effectively despite feeling fear - I don't know how to answer this question. Don't think it is even applicable to my situation.

* * *

Katie stared at her screen and being very emotional, wanted to throw it across the room. Logically, she closed her eyes for a few moments before re-reading what she had typed. The conclusion: it was redundant to give the situation any more attention until she talked to Callen. She would call the psychologist in the morning to book an appointment …that plan had a hole. She needed to see Callen _before_ talking to psychologist, but she didn't know when Callen would be back and it could take weeks after that to get an appointment. The looping thought that ran through her mind was enough to warrant a visit to a 'shrink'. Mind over matter was required, so Katie put her laptop on the coffee table and got things ready for the next day.

Walking towards her bedroom she stopped suddenly after she cleared the doorway. This was the hardest part of the day for her, when darkness took over the sky and being left alone to get into her bed ...the bed she had shared with _him._ After brushing her teeth and putting on pyjamas, she pulled back the covers slowly before laying down. Many thoughts had swirled through her mind after her last appointment of the day, but there was one in particular she had been purposely avoiding delving into.

_How could the hands of the man she loved be so sinister?_

Katie had seen those large, strong and surprisingly well-manicured hands pull the trigger of a gun, but for whatever reason she found that made him even _sexier._ Those hands had made her feel so good, so many times, that for a brief moment while remembering one specific time when they had touched her, it felt like her reality for the past two weeks had been a dream, or would that be a nightmare? Watching him snuff the life out of a person with his hands was something that she could not comprehend. Not now, and as far as she was concerned, not ever. But she would hear what he had to say when he returned, and not make any decisions until then.

* * *

Without word of Callen's status for exactly three weeks, Katie was relieved to hear from him Friday afternoon exactly twenty-one days since he had left and since the day her life was filled with… despair? Anxiousness? Bitterness? Guilt? There were so many things she was feeling that it was impossible to pick just one word. Despite what she was going through, his well-being was important to her. He would be over after his debriefing and routine check-up by a doctor.

Things had somewhat calmed down after Katie managed to get an appointment on Wednesday evening as the psychologist had a cancellation. Katie "clicked" with him immediately and knew she was in good hands. Dr. Richards had given her some thought provoking advice: _Remember, this is about your reaction to what happened, not what he did._ As the case with many things in life, it was much easier said than done but Katie was trying her best to adhere to it.

The physical and emotional strength she had managed to muster up as well as the wanting to ask him if he had talked to his boss about not doing anymore long term assignments, disappeared when she opened the door. If his boss had said no, why hadn't he told her that? Or if she had said okay, why was he still doing them? Her head was going to explode with all of the thoughts in it.

"What the hell happened to you?" Katie barked as Callen kicked off his shoes, wincing in pain as his hand went to his right rib.

"Hazards of the job," he replied, failing with his attempt at humour. Katie watched in awe as Callen limped to the couch, favouring his right side. It wasn't until he slowly sat down and looked up at her that his battered face shone in the overhead light. "Rough week, but I'll be fine."

"How did you drive?"

"Took a cab."

"Do you want something to drink?"

"No thanks. What I do need is for you to come sit down." He patted the couch with his left hand, as that side of his body didn't hurt as much. Callen mistook her hesitancy to sit close to him as concern she might bump him. "It looks worse than it really is." He held out his left hand, which she didn't take, but did sit beside him. He again mistook her body language, widened eyes that never left his face and hands kept on her lap so as not to touch and potentially hurt him, for more concern.

Katie untruthfully addressed the lack of touching, or to be specific, the omitted hug and/or kiss that usually took place after not seeing each other for a long period of time.

"I'm afraid I will hurt you even more if I attempt to hug you. And your face … a kiss would probably be torture."

As soon as the last word left her mouth, she realized it wasn't the best word of choice.

"I've endured worse. It's okay, I won't break."

How sick and warped of a person was she that relief had filled her when he didn't follow through with his wanting her to touch him and he touch her, because he winced (again) in pain? Then the words of Dr. Richards flooded her mind, well, her twist on the doctor's advice – _This is about me, not him_

"I need to talk to you about something that happened while you were," _being beaten up ... focus Katie_ …"away."


	12. Chapter 12 - Perspectives, Part One

**Chapter 12 - Perspectives, Part One**

* * *

Callen wrestled with masking the physical pain his body was in with the emotional pain he had obviously caused Katie but he failed. His ribs were more painful now than when he had been kicked with the black combat boots the bad guys wore. Her face was getting stiffer by the second as she watched Callen shift positions several times on the couch before standing. _His_ face grew paler as Katie stared him down.

"I need to take a painkiller."

Katie watched as he slowly made his way to the kitchen, poured a glass of water, tilted his head back and swallowed the pill. She had just told him _everything_ that she had endured while he was away, and yet it was _her_ watching him take steps that required all of his concentration.

"I heard everything you said, it's just that I need a few minutes to let the meds take effect." He settled into the chair instead of the couch, getting physical support where he needed it most.

For as long as she had known G. Callen, he had never looked so worn and tired. Katie was a lot of things but cold hearted wasn't one of them. Or at least she didn't think she was. So there they sat for the next ten minutes, although it could have been longer, with anchor rope thick tension surrounding them. They both had a lot of questions to ask each other but it was Callen who spoke first.

"What triggered the memory?"

The way he had asked the question startled Katie. It wasn't until that moment she realized that he too had most likely suffered from PTSD at some point in time given the line of work he was in, perhaps even as he sat before her.

"Katie, I asked you a question."

"Yeah sorry. My mind has been scattered lately." Her look indicated she needed the question repeated.

"Office party for the person Taryn replaced. Someone popped the only two balloons while we were cleaning up and they just happened to be red." Her body was wavering with sweaty hands and rapid blinking, despite her surprisingly steady mental composure. "There were two red balloons on the door across from our room. I noticed them when I peeked out the door …" she really didn't want to repeat this part again, but as Dr. Richards had told her, it would eventually get easier with time, and acceptance that she couldn't undo what happened. "To see if I could see you and I couldn't. When you came back to the room I was so thankful you were okay and wanted to make sure Kamaria was as well, I blocked out what I saw."

"I'm sorry you had to see that Katie."

"_That's it_? That's all you're going to say?" Her body was starting to boil over at his nonchalant attitude. Black eye and bruised ribs be damned!

"What else should I say? You'll get over it with time."

From her position on the couch she was perfectly in line with his body on the chair for a lunge and … _what exactly would she do once her body had pounced his?_

Katie was at a loss for words but it would only be temporary.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You have no clue what I've been through the past three weeks. My life was turned upside down while you were out …" Hesitation to finish sentences appeared to be in the cards for her that evening.

Callen's eyes widened. The slight movement of the stitched up cut above his right eyebrow made him twitch. As he leaned forward, he knew the pain meds weren't in full effect (yet).

"While I was out _playing_?" The sarcasm was so heavy on his words it made Katie shudder.

"I didn't mean, oh fuck, I don't know what I meant." She threw her hands in the air and walked across the room to where her mother's picture looked back at her. In that brief moment she silently prayed for some words of wisdom. They didn't come. Instead she got Callen's presence behind her.

"I can see this has taken a toll on you. His thumb reached up to touch her cheek as he had often done before but just as she felt the warmth of it, she pulled back.

"It hasn't just affected me, it has all but consumed me. And I thought you would be more compassionate. But then for someone who is immune to feelings, I shouldn't be surprised with your attitude."

"Immune to feelings? He took a step closer to bridge the gap she had formed. "Looks like your brain has erased a _whole bunch of things._" His sarcasm-laced words coupled with his now obvious regained strength, thanks to the white pill, scared Katie. "You never had a problem with me touching you before."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know what they," she stared at his hands that were resting at his sides, the finger and thumb on his right hand rubbing together, something she had noticed him do several times before, "were capable of."

Given the twenty-one days of hell he had just endured, G. Callen wasn't in the mood for anyone, even Katie Mitchell, questioning his method in which he protected a woman and young girl in need.

"You're seeing someone, getting help and that is all you really can do for PTSD." At least that was the way it had been for him over the years.

"Sounds like you are talking from experience," Katie stated with empathy but still unhappy with Callen's attitude towards what was happening to _her_.

"This was mild," he touched his forehead, "compared to other undercover assignments. Hell, even a few routine ops with Sam saying he was holding back his punches were worse."

"Sam hits you?" The thought of those massive arms … _wow!_

"It's all in a day's work," Callen replied, feeling the tension dissipate and hoped they could move forward with their evening together. And hopefully, make it a weekend together.

"I'm sorry you got hurt Callen."

"Guess we both had rough weeks." Katie nodded her head and decided that if Callen could deal with his traumatic experiences, so could she. His next words comforted her.

"You're a strong woman Katie. You'll get through this."

But then he was silent. No reassurance he would be there for her. And she became agitated _until_ … his arms gently wrapped around her waist and his lips pressed ever so softly against hers. That magical feeling they'd both experienced many times, surfaced for both of them as tongues met. Callen wasn't in any condition for sex but a long, sensual kiss was perfect. His hands resting on her hips as though they were carved out specifically for him, they moved to the couch, Katie guiding his battered body down with hers. Fingertips grazed his face before she placed soft kisses over his injuries.

"I was worried about you and with no word from your boss, and everything else going on, I didn't know how much longer I could cope."

"I'm here now. A little worse for wear, but here with you, here for you.

Katie was just about to ask why he was still doing long-term assignments when she felt his finger lightly brush a few tears from her cheek. He often gently touched her face, a gesture she enjoyed, but this time it caused her to grab his hand and pull it away from her face.

"I can't do this. Every time you touch me all I am going to think of is what you did. I thought seeing you would help, but it's only making it worse." She's not sure how she managed to hold the rest of her tears at bay but she did.

"Maybe we just need some time apart so you can focus on getting better," Callen stated, feeling that was what she needed. He wasn't sure what startled him more in the following seconds, her flaring nostrils or the vile words that spewed from her mouth.

"You're nothing more than a glorified killer-for-hire and because your boss is the US Government, no one questions it. You might be used to the torture and God knows what else that goes on when you're off doing who the fuck knows what, but _I'm not!"_

After the stinging insult, Callen decided to challenge Katie at her own 'game'.

"Do you have any idea what was happening before I took out the gunman?"

Katie's body froze. She didn't know and when Callen told her she really didn't want to (know) she had trusted him and let it go. But that was before PTSD entered her life.

"No I don't." She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled before asking him to inform her. She knew it was bad given Kamari's blood curdling scream but had no idea how bad.

The challenge of the game was upped a notch. It was confirmed in her face, especially those sapphire blue eyes. Katie wanted him to justify what he did. Callen never doubted his decision to kill the man holding the gun on Kamaria and Kaisa. And he never would. He got right to the point, which shocked him more than Katie, but then he had never planned on telling her the details.

"One guy was going to rape Kamaria while he made Kaisa watch. The other guy kept a gun on them. If anyone tried to help them, they would both be shot. Wounded, not killed. When _both_ men had had their turn with her, Kaisa was next." The horrid images flooded back into his mind but he continued. "While raping them, they would ensure neither of them _ever _had children."

Katie listened as Callen continued with the details she thought would help her deal with Callen taking a life with his bare hands. Her heart ached for her friends and Jabari who was left with the aftermath to deal with. But she couldn't help it. This newfound knowledge of her lover was taking over her life.

"I wish I hadn't seen you do it," Katie quietly voiced when Callen finished talking. "It looks like we have different perspectives on what should have happened."

"What is it that you think I should have done Katie?"

"You could have knocked him out."

"So he and his buddy could come back another time and finish what they started?" Katie hadn't thought of it that way. "Or better yet, waited a day or two for another target." G. Callen went where he shouldn't have but Katie was gnawing at his inner being, questioning his integrity, his ability to protect "properly", those in need. "Perhaps a pretty young _white_ girl." The soft moan in his throat as he licked his bruised lips sent a shiver down _his _spine.

"You're a sick bastard, you know that?"

"Yeah, well at least I'm not a naïve, ungrateful cold-hearted bitch."

Her response didn't faze him, "At least I'm not a cold-blooded killer."

He continued to venture into unknown territory, "If I, we, hadn't been there to intervene, your friend and her sister would have been begging for death because Jabari would have been shot. And if it were you, with your tight pussy, firm ass and perky tits …" Katie didn't budge as the unpleasant words rolled of his tongue. "It would have been _me_ you were begging for. To save you." He paused a moment to find more words to try and convince Katy there was no other choice. "To make the pain stop – in any way I could."

Silence filled the room and weirdly enough, most of the tension had slipped away despite Katie wanting to vomit at the sound of Callen's last words. It wasn't like anything else vengeful could be said. But the opposing views on what happened that day in Kenya still divided Callen and Katie.

"We could do this all night Callen, but it appears that we're still going to have different views."

G. Callen knew when to step away and this was most definitely one of those times but he had one more thing to ask her. "You know I've killed people before, so why is this affecting you?"

"You've killed people with a _gun_."

"You think there's a _difference_?"

"I don't have anything to compare your barbaric stunt to, but I am feeling there is a difference between killing someone with a gun and killing someone with your hands."

Callen regretted his decision not to walk away thirty seconds ago.

Katie couldn't help herself and had to slide just _one more_ insult in, "I'm sure if I hang around you long enough I would see that as well."


	13. Chapter 13 - Perspectives, Part Two

**Chapter 13 - Perspectives, Part Two**

* * *

After calling a taxi, Callen made a phone call while he waited and then after carefully getting in the back seat, he gave the driver directions to the home of the only person he knew who could (hopefully) help him rationalize what he had just endured with Katie. He needed someone who was, or had been, in Katie's position in a relationship.

"Thanks for letting me stop by so late," Callen said as the large wooden door closed behind him.

"You know you are welcome any time G," Ellie Morgan replied as she led them to the kitchen. "I just made some tea, would you like some?"

He nodded and with a slight smile thanked her as the steaming cup was placed in front of him.

"It's looks like one of those weeks James used to have," she stated as she pointed to her guest's bruised and cut face.

"I'm sure you don't miss those times."

"No, but I do miss him. Work keeps me busy but some nights are still hard when I think about him not joining me in bed."

They sipped their tea and chatted about Ellie's work before broaching the subject of why Callen needed to talk to her. Their visits were usually casual and pre-planned but Ellie could see, the physical injuries aside, Callen was emotionally worn.

The words still fresh in his mind, Callen repeated a condensed version of the conversation he and Katie just had.

To say Ellie was shocked at what Callen told her, would be an understatement.

"So you want to know if I've ever been in Katie's situation?"

"Yeah, because I don't know what to do."

"Thankfully, I haven't been there. But I do know that what I would have wanted and needed from James is patience, understanding and time." Callen only managed to raise his eyebrows in question before Ellie continued. "Katie isn't like you Callen. She will never fully understand what you do or what you are capable of doing."

"So I go to her and ask for her forgiveness for saving her friends from a torturous…" He couldn't finish the sentence as the images crawled back into the forefront of his mind.

"No, you don't ask for forgiveness. You take responsibility for your actions …and for the words you used earlier this evening."

"But I don't know what to say to her."

"Sleep on it. You'll have a clearer mind in the morning."

A slight nervous laugh from Callen had Ellie wondering what could possibly be so amusing.

"I had told Katie that I have this 'feeling' that I couldn't shake. That something would happen and it would bridge a gap between us. Never did I even come close to thinking it would be _this_.

"A lot has changed since you called to thank me for helping with your second date."

"Don't I know it."

"James and I always respected each other even when we were in disagreement of something. Not many people know this but he wasn't very supportive at first when I wanted to start up an Event Planning business. He was old school." Callen smiled in agreement. "Then he saw that I was having fun and of course making money. _Then_ he saw there was a real demand to plan things for _busy people with money to burn._" Ellie reach out and placed her hand over Callen's. "Our relationship wasn't perfect but we always found a way to come to an understanding on what we were disagreeing about."

"My mind keeps going in circles though. I told her to stay in the room and she just had to peek out the door. If she had listened to me …"

Ellie withdrew her hand and reached for the teapot. "Do I have to make another pot? This might be a _long_ night."

"No, you don't. I hear what you're saying. I'm just not use to making amends with people. Walking away was easier."

"Yes it was, but you weren't in love like you are now."

"It's that evident?"

"Oh Callen. I'm sixty-two years young. I've seen just about everything, including _many_ men in love."

"I'm not liking the lack of control I have right now," Callen admitted.

"You don't have to be _in_ control right now. You need to_ take_ control. Tell her, _show_ her that she isn't in this alone."

After taking another painkiller and calling another taxi, he thanked Ellie for listening and her valuable words of wisdom. Upon returning home, his body was tired and mind exhausted (from thinking). A simple text to Katie – _I need to talk to you. Will call you in the morning_ – was done before he crawled into bed. It wasn't long before he was asleep and for that, he was very thankful.

Callen had been dreading morning coming after he sent the text but when he checked his phone he noticed a reply from her. Still in bed and in need of a painkiller, he reached for the small bottle of white pills and glass of water beside his bed. A single swipe of his finger would lead him to know where he stood with Katie. Her text had been sent at _seven thirty_ that morning. He glanced at the time on the screen: _nine forty-five_. He wasn't surprised he had slept that late. A stop in the bathroom was made before walking slowly to the kitchen to make some tea. As the kettle boiled, he called Katie. No cursing, yelling or snide remarks were made. Only a swift agreement that Katie would be over in twenty minutes so Callen wouldn't have to take (another) taxi. Never had he missed driving so much.

Thankful for the 'wonder drug' the doctor had given him and green tea; Callen was in a favourable state of mind when Katie arrived. She followed him to the living room and watched the effort it took him to sit in his chair.

"How long does the doctor think it will take to heal?" she asked before sitting next to him in her chair.

"Two weeks for driving but he thinks it will be a month before I can return to work. And right now, I'm agreeing with his prognosis."

"Do you need anything?" Katie asked, her heart fighting with her mind. Her heart felt empathy for him, wanting to take care of him. Her mind wanted to hear what he needed to say.

He shook his head. "Thanks for coming over."

"I agree we need to talk."

That was the easy part. Callen knew what he wanted to say but the words weren't coming making it to his mouth.

"It's okay, I don't know what to say either," Katie said softly.

He slowly found his words, "I'm sorry I wasn't more understanding of what you are going through. I've never had anyone question the way in which I've …" he paused a moment to chose his words but he only found bluntness, "killed someone."

Katie appreciated his candidness. She had done a lot of thinking last night. And her thoughts always turned to her friends on the other side of the world. "I know you did what needed to be done. I guess my PTSD pales in comparison to what would have happened if you hadn't intervened."

"Don't _ever_ minimize your feelings Katie. I'm here to help you deal with your PTSD. Everyone reacts differently to things they experience and not everyone can compartmentalize like me. And trust me, that isn't always a good thing to do."

Confessions that morning were plentiful. And without actually rephrasing the brutal words said the night before, peace was made between them.

I wanted you to hurt as much as I was hurting," Katie admitted.

"I wanted you to thank me for protecting your friends and not question how I did it."

Relief overcame them as they continued to talk. When Katie reached over to place her hand on Callen's, he hesitated to reciprocate the gesture by entwining his fingers in hers. Katie nodded that it was okay. The connection they had made in her living room after their first date was akin to what was happening in his living room. Feeling uncomfortable after a few moments of sitting forward, he reluctantly let go of her hand and sat back.

"My next counselling appointment is on Wednesday. I'd like to wait until after it to see you again." Callen turned his eyes to meet hers. "It's great that we're talking but I feel I will still need some time, on my own, to work through things. With counselling and your support, I know I can deal with this and get past the point where I'm not feeling like a prisoner to my feelings."

"Whatever you need Katie. If time apart is one of those things, I will respect that. But will you promise me one thing?"

"I'll try."

"Talk to me. Even if it means ranting and raving about what you're feeling or about something that has happened. Even if it's not related to your PTSD."

Katie gave him a playful smile, "You might regret that."

"Doubt it. I'm the root of your problem."

"Would you do it again"? She took a noticeable deep breath. "Even if you knew I was watching?"

"Yes."

That was the perfect time to get up and get a drink. Sitting in any one position for too long (five minutes was too long) and he started to feel discomfort. He offered her one but she declined. Callen's honesty hit her deep and hard but she knew that was part of the process of dealing with her issues so she, they, could move forward.

"I was really surprised to see your text last night," Katie stated.

"I was surprised you responded. Thought you might make me wait, a day or _ten_."

"I actually felt a sense of relief when you left last night."

Up went one eyebrow, _"Relief? Seriously?"_

"Yes, seriously. We said what we were feeling and I didn't have to wonder anymore what our first meeting, since you left on assignment, would be like."

Those words would never be forgotten but they also would never be mentioned again.

"That was hard for you, me being away and not able to talk to me."

"Almost drove me crazy at times."

"You were the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep. Every day."

"Your thoughts were good ones though."

"Yeah, they were."

A few moments of silence filled the room while Callen mustered the courage to share a part of his past with her. A part, that still haunted him but would show her that he was with her all the way in dealing with her PTSD.

"There was this kid, Jason. We lived in same foster home. I was eleven and he was thirteen. He watched out for me when kids were picking on me for their choice of reason for the day. And even when our foster father was in one of his moods, he would literally put himself between me and the man we called "Dad". Then one night our "Dad" got _really_ drunk and beat Jason to death - with his hands and feet. I saw it. I watched. Everything. I just stood there and watched. It was after that, I vowed never to stand by and watch that happen to anyone. No matter the risks to myself."

Katie moved from her chair to the space on the floor between his legs. She wanted to sit on his lap but his internal injuries would be worsened, and that trumped her need to comfort him. They were both surprised that confession came out so abruptly. Tears welled in both sets of blue eyes. Despite his pain, physically and emotionally, he leaned forward and cupped her face with his hands. He silently counted to ten and when Katie didn't resist his touch, their lips met in a brief kiss.

"I do understand the reason for your PTSD. And to witness _me_ doing it, I can only imagine the compounded stress you are feeling."

"Blaming you felt like an easy way to deal with it. When you didn't respond the way I wanted you too, I took that road. But it only made me feel worse."

His hands still on her face he knew without any doubt that she was his future.

"Evil works in ways neither of could ever fully understand. Taking a life is never easy. Not even when it's the life of the worst mankind has bred."

Katie raised her hand and gently held his face, tears slowly falling over them. "Thank you for saving Kamaria and Kaisa."

He wouldn't say _you're welcome_ and she was (more than) okay with that. Katie was starting the healing process and knew it would be a long journey but with G. Callen in her corner, she would prevail.

Although it was only twelve-thirty in the afternoon, both of their bodies were begging for sleep. Callen stated he was taking a nap as he got out of his chair. He just assumed she would join him. And that she did. No words were used as they walked down the hallway, crawled into bed, pulled the duvet over them and let sleep come to them instead of trying to find it.


	14. Chapter 14 - Changes, Part One

**Chapter 14 - Changes, Part One**

* * *

After a two hour nap that they both needed, they made lunch and talked about how they would proceed with things in their relationship. It was agreed that the Katie's priorities were seeing her psychologist, attending support group meetings and focusing on work. Her boss had amazingly understood what was going on and they had started to establish more than just a boss and employee relationship. But, Taryn also had a job to do and not only did she rely on Katie, but the children in the cases assigned to her did as well.

Callen was to focus on recovering from his injuries. He hesitated on telling Katie the truth about what his doctor told him, as he didn't want her to worry about him as she had her own recovery to worry about. So for now he wouldn't share the doctor's prognosis about it most likely being two to three months before his ribs healed. And that the trauma he suffered to his eye was more than just a bruise. His vision in that eye was blurry and would require close monitoring. Only Hetty knew the truth, as she received a copy of the doctor's report.

It had been so long since they made love and setting everything else aside, Callen wanted her so much it ached to the core of his body. But he wasn't ignorant either. Emotional trauma can be harder to overcome than physical injuries. Focused on finding answers to his past for decades instead of living his life, G. Callen was proof of that.

But she was so beautiful with her slightly tousled hair, and perfectly fitted sweatshirt that clearly was the only fabric on her upper body. It was only a matter of time before Katie saw that he was thinking about her that way. Before he had to stand up his conscience took care of things.

Once they reached the bedroom, Callen wasn't going to risk Katie getting to a point where the bitter feelings would most likely surface and replace the sexual ones as they made love. And although he knew she would be ever so gentle with him (and that was a fucking incredible turn-on) the logical part of his mind – his conscience - overrode his longing desire to reconnect physically with the most important person in his life.

The (still?) unbreakable bond between them had a few cracks in it and there wasn't anything he was going to do to (intentionally) weaken it any further.

They said goodbye with a short but emotionally filled kiss and tentative plans to have Katie come over for dinner after work on Friday. One day at a time is how they would take things.

* * *

Sam came by Sunday with his partner's favourite donuts. They had a heart to heart talk with Callen telling him exactly what Katie saw him do. Upon Sam leaving, Callen was reassured that taking things slowly was indeed the best way to handle their situation. Time and patience were the words of wisdom offered by the former Navy SEAL. And just to make sure her Agent in Charge followed the doctor's orders, Hetty arranged to have a tow truck take the blue Jaguar back to the Motor Pool at OSP. Sam watched the expression on his partner's face as the car was loaded on the truck. It was just a car but its removal from his life was going to be a reminder that his body wasn't recovering the way it used to.

* * *

Monday morning Hetty called Callen and asked him to come to the office as she had some paper work for him to sign pertaining to the undercover assignment. Since he was only supposed to be resting, he was on his way to OSP ten minutes after he was summoned. There was an upside to being a passenger in a car in Los Angeles: sights missed while focusing on the road/traffic were taken in. Dogs being walked, young kids playing at the parks and elderly people strolling the streets at a pace that wasn't the norm in the City of Angels.

Katie's words were playing heavily on his mind (and ribs) as the taxi pulled into the outer parking lot of OSP.

_I don't like what your job does to you_

He silently agreed with her then, and now he was almost ready to say the words as he winced when getting out of the taxi.

During his three-week undercover assignment, a significant change at work had taken place. Marty Deeks was offered a promotion to Sergeant at LAPD. According to Sam, Deeks and Kensi mutually agreed it was best for their careers and relationship. Hetty had been privy to this decision a few weeks before it happened so she met with Assistant Director, Owen Granger and Director, Leon Vance to assess the situation of being short a team member.

When Callen returned from his undercover assignment, unable to work, Hetty put in place the plan that was agreed upon. NCIS Agent Grace Stevens would be brought to LA to work (permanently) with Kensi while Sam &amp; Callen remained partners. Ms. Stevens had been the Agent called in to replace Callen while he was on suspension. Deeks had grown on the Senior Agent and he would miss him but he knew it was best for him and his relationship with Kensi.

"Mr. Callen, in my office," Hetty called out as Callen walked through the bullpen.

"Hetty." That was all he could manage to say as he prepared to sit down. His nap with Katie on Saturday morning had done wonders for his mind and body but it was short lived. He chose to forego bringing his painkillers before leaving home and regretted it immensely as he lowered his body into the chair across from his boss.

"You look like crap Mr. Callen." Hetty was never one to beat around the bush.

"Thanks." No sarcasm was noted in his voice and that peaked Hetty's curiosity. But first, she would have Callen sign the papers she was required to submit by the end of the day.

"I have brought in a temporary replacement for you. He and Mr. Hanna are getting acquainted as we speak.

G. Callen didn't like it. He wasn't replaceable. Or was he? He just mumbled something under his breath, which was as much as Hetty expected since reading the report his doctor had copied her on. He couldn't help but crack a little smile as he thought about Sam, his temporary partner and who would drive the Challenger. Special Agent G. Callen was ever the optimist and determined to be "back in the saddle" within a month. Well, that was the persona he wanted other people to see. Even if she hadn't seen his medical report, Callen was certain she would have seen through his veneer.

"It looks like you are going be off for a while Mr. Callen. I trust you are resting, per your doctor's orders." He could fool many people most of the time, but never Hetty Lange, any of the time.

"You know me Hetty."

"That isn't an answer Mr. Callen. And yes I do know you. That is why I said it."

"Not much else to do," he replied as the small remnants of the painkiller he took first thing in the morning weren't enough to combat the task of sitting, and most other movements.

"How's Miss Mitchell?"

Callen darted his eyes to Hetty's. He was feeling really down and if he was honest, sorry for himself, although everything that was happening in his life was by way of choices he made over the years. "She's well -considering." His inspiring talk with Sam was also short lived.

Hetty offered Callen a cup of hot tea, as there was very little that a cup of tea, coupled with a sit down talk, couldn't make better.

"No Scotch?" Callen asked half seriously. He wasn't fooled for one second in believing Henrietta Lange only had tea in her fine china cups.

"Don't be cheeky." Hetty perused his facial injuries over the rim of her glasses and waited a few moments to see if he would say anything of personal significance. She had an uncanny way of reading people by their body language and speech. Rarely was she inaccurate in her assessments, especially when it was the blue-eyed Special Agent sitting across from her who was currently trying to find a comfortable position in his chair. "Is there something I can do for you Mr. Callen?"

His bad mood was getting worse. "Yeah. Stop calling me Mr. Callen. My name is G. Lowercase or uppercase, I don't care." There wasn't any cheekiness in those words, just blatant frustration. "You aren't willing to share any information you have about my past. And I know you have plenty. So if I am stuck with only a letter for a first name, then that's what I want people to call me." He shifted his position again but didn't miss the golden opportunity to let Hetty know how he really felt about her knowledge of his past that he was certain she was keeping from him. "Especially you."

"I'm sorry Agent Callen that you don't care for the way I address you."

His weary eyes looked directly at her. Something deeper was obviously bothering him, so she offered a friendly ear. He wasn't willing to tell her about what happened in Kenya (telling Ellie and Sam was more than enough emotional torture) so he did what he does best when it comes too deep, emotional things in his life – avoid them.

"Despite being in a committed relationship, I haven't had sex in almost ten weeks."

There were only a select few people on the planet that could top Henrietta Lange at this "game". G. Callen wasn't one of them.

"It's been a lot longer than that for me. Let's see, his name was Richard. An astute gentleman." She met her Senior Agent's eyes. He didn't blink. So she continued. "We were in Paris having met at an art gallery. We shared an interest in Monet and sex in …" She stopped mid sentence when Callen firmly raised his hand in the stop position.

"You win," Callen stated. He would surrender any day over listening to Hetty talk about her sex life.

"It's not about winning. I can see you are struggling and not just with your injuries."

"Guess I'm not as good at covering up my feelings as I thought I was." With Hetty easing back in her chair, listening to him with undivided attention, Callen felt comfortable talking about what was going on but not the intricate details. "My professional and personal lives really suck right now. I knew there would be a few bumps in the road when I chose to be with Katie, and was even prepared for a few potholes. But this?" He touched his side and shook his head thinking about his conversation with Katie Friday night. "I feel like I'm in a fucking sink hole."

His life was swirling around in a vortex of uncertainty. Ellie's words resonating with him again … take control of the situation. Short of bribing (or threatening his doctor) there wasn't much he could do about his work life. Although he and Katie were dedicated to working things out between them, that damn gut feeling he had was telling him that Katie seeing him kill someone (with his bare hands) wasn't the only thing that threatened their future together. But really, what could be more detrimental to a relationship than that? The voice on the other end of the phone conversation that he was about to have, would tell him.


	15. Chapter 15 - Changes, Part Two

**Chapter 15 - Changes, Part Two**

* * *

As Callen left Hetty's office, Sam, Kensi and Grace entered the building. They all chatted for a few minutes before Owen Granger joined them. The team was called up to OPS. Sam said he would catch him later and Callen watched as the four of them made their way to the hub of the building. When the Assistant Director left with the team, Sam by his side, he clued in that Granger was his replacement. For a moment or two he had been concerned about someone replacing him but now that he knew it was his boss' boss, he let go of that worry.

Not really wanting to host another self-pity party, Callen accepted the reality that he would just have to wait until he was healed and fit for duty. Thinking any differently wasn't going to help his recovery.

This is when he really needed to have a hobby that didn't involve any strenuous activity. He smiled to himself as he made his way to the front door. Katie Mitchell was the perfect "hobby". Not just because the sex was insanely, amazing but he wasn't living a lie in their relationship and that was a relief he couldn't put into words. He was about to send her a text to say "Hi" but instead he stopped short of the large, wooden double doors of the "condemned" building when his phone rang. He glanced at the name and number before answering.

"Hey, what's up? I was just thinking about you"

"Callen? G. Callen" An unfamiliar voice on the other end kept him silent.

"Hello? Callen?"

"Who is this?"

"My name is Taryn. Katie and I work together.

A shallow sigh allowed him all but a second of relief that someone hadn't found out about her relationship with him and … well he wasn't going to go there.

"Is everything okay?"

"No it's not. Katie's in the hospital and going into surgery in a few minutes."

Silence, like he'd never heard before, filled the air around him.

"_What?_ Is she okay? What happened?"

Taryn had a soothing, reassuring tone that Callen took to immediately despite the pounding of his heart in his chest.

"I feel it best if I don't tell you over the phone."

He wanted to take time process what he was hearing but getting to the hospital was priority. Taryn relayed the name of the hospital &amp; address and within seconds Callen was tucking his phone into the back pocket of his jeans and out the door of OPS when he stopped dead in his tracks. An adrenaline rush was masking his physical pain but not the fact that he couldn't drive.

"Oh fuck it!" he said aloud and made his way to the Motor Pool. Unfortunately, Hetty had been on top of things, just in case, and informed the supervisor that Agent Callen wasn't to drive any vehicle under any circumstance.

Time was of the essence so calling a taxi was out of the question, as he would have to walk to the outer edge of the parking lot.

He called the person who would get him there, no questions asked, "Sam, I need a ride, Katie's in the hospital. Meet me at the Motor Pool entrance.

Sam excused himself from Granger informing the second in command of NCIS that his friend needed him. The elder man told him to go and that he would inform Hetty who hadn't yet met Katie but didn't need that introduction to consider her a part of their "family".

Sam had seen the current look of despair on his partner's face a scarce amount of times over the years. Silence was had until they reached the nurse's station on the floor Taryn had given them. Katie had just gone into surgery and he and Sam were directed to the waiting room.

"What if she doesn't…?"

Sam stopped him right then and there. "No G. You are_ not_ going to think like that. You don't even know what happened."

"_Callen?_" Taryn asked as the two men sat down. She had heard Callen ask the nurse about Katie Mitchell.

"Taryn? What the hell happened?" The calmness Sam had somewhat restored in him vanished, as Taryn prepared to tell him why Katie was in the hospital. The configuration of the chairs had her face to face with the intense, inquiring look of four eyes.

She lowered her voice, "Katie had an ectopic pregnancy. Her fallopian tube ruptured."

As Taryn watched Callen's face, the paleness that washed over it startled her.

_"Pregnancy?"_

"She was at work about an hour and then she was doubled over in pain and vomiting. By the time we got here she was saying the tips of her shoulders were piercing with pain. As soon as the nurse heard that she was rushed in for an emergency ultrasound."

"She never said she was pregnant." Those words from G. Callen's mouth weren't meant more for anyone in particular. Forget a swirling vortex. He was entering the _twilight zone_. And he didn't know it at the time, but he would soon be deep in the center of it.

"She didn't know she was pregnant. That's all she said before she was prepped for surgery."

"Callen?" A deep male voice said and as he looked up, he recognized the man as Mike.

Taryn excused herself, introduced herself to Mike and took him to the nurse's desk. Callen, still in a daze, was wondering what Mike was doing there. And then his world completely unravelled. His ears couldn't believe what they were hearing. Mike was listed as Katie's next of kin. Okay, no immediate family, he had known her a lot longer than him. Mike was in charge of her medical decisions in case she couldn't make them. Another okay, he's been a big part of her life since her mother died.

Then devastation, like Sam had never seen, hit Callen. Katie had told Taryn to take her phone and call Mike but not him. The potentially permanently damaged ribs and inability to drive or work as a Federal Agent, weren't anything like the pain he felt in the pit of his stomach and center of his heart when he heard those words.

"Then why did you call me?" Callen asked Taryn, a woman he had just met, giving him the most unsettling news of his life. And he had plenty of news in that category over the past three decades.

"I told her to call you," Mike intervened. "Man to man, I felt you should know._ I_ would want to know. Taryn and I talked briefly about what we know based on what Katie had told us. Any problems you two have been experiencing need to be put aside for now."

"_You both know what happened_?" Callen asked, most certain a dubious look in eyes accompanied his words.

"Enough to know that she wasn't thinking clearly when she told me that," Taryn's soothing voice, again, reached Callen's ears.

Katie's surgery was expected to take about two hours. Two hours that would feel like eternity.

"I need a few minutes," Callen announced as he walked out of the waiting room and stood in the barren, beige painted hallway.

He had forgotten how much he detested hospitals until now. Too many times in one as a patient and too many times waiting. But this time it was unlike anything he had ever experienced. His thinking was irrational but he couldn't help but feel responsible for Katie being in the operating room. Had they not had sex … that thought was ludicrous but still ... the weight of the unknown firmly on his shoulders, maybe, just maybe if he took on some of the emotional pain it might help Katie with her physical pain. Speaking of physical pain… Callen felt the adrenaline rush coming to a halt when he swore he felt his ribs throbbing.

"G, you okay?" Sam asked.

"No Sam, I'm not."

Sam followed Callen to a small bench a short distance down the hall so that they will still be visible if Mike or Taryn needed him.

"I need you to do something for me," Callen said, wincing as he sat down.

"Anything G."

"I need my pain meds. They are on the table beside my bed."

"Do you want me to go now?"

"No, not until I know she will be okay."

"I can do that."

"For being such a good man, I sure do have a negative impact on people." The intended sarcasm wasn't missed by Sam.

"G, c'mon, this isn't your fault. It's no one's fault. It's something that just happens in life. It sucks that it happens but there isn't anything you could have done to prevent it."

"What if her PTSD caused it? Then it is my fault. He slid his hand over his face and let out a very audible breath. "When I said everything I am today is because of Hetty, that includes the bad as well as the good. And right now, the bad is shining through. My being a good man and having good character content sure as hell didn't mean anything to Katie when she told Taryn not to call me." Tears were filling his eyes. "I am beginning to rethink my trust issues. It wasn't me who couldn't trust people. It was people who couldn't trust me to bring something other than pain and negativity to a relationship." He stood to help alleviate the throbbing in his side. "Some days I wish with all my being that Hetty hadn't rescued me." His face, although still very pale, was filled with sincerity. "I wouldn't have been on suspension, went to Kenya, had sex at that point in time or killed that man." As deep a breath as he could manage without feeling like his lungs weren't rubbing against his ribs, was taken. "And that amazing woman with an incredible future awaiting her, would not be in that operating room."

There was no reasoning with G. Callen at times like this so Sam offered to get some drinks. When he got back, Callen wasn't there. Checking the waiting room, he saw his partner alone in the corner, (still) wallowing in his sorrow and pain. The black coffee alerted him enough to hear a nurse call "Family of Katie Mitchell?" The surgeon was wrapping things up and would be out shortly to give an update on Katie's condition. While stewing in his guilt, dreading facing Katie was at the forefront of his mind. What the hell would _he say to her_? What would _she say to him_?


	16. Chapter 16 - Recovery, Part One

**Chapter 16 - Recovery, Part One**

* * *

After the doctor updated Callen and Mike on Katie's condition, Mike said he had to get back to work but would be back later to see her. Taryn had left shortly before that, as she was required at work but she also would be back.

Standing a few feet from Katie's door, Callen recalled a portion of a conversation he had earlier with Sam.

_"This will be harder on her than on you. You will have emotional pain, as does she, but Katie also has the physical aspects to deal with. Having a miscarriage is hard enough to deal with, never mind the fact that the pregnancy could have left her unable to have children in the future ... or worse."_

Callen knew of Michelle's two miscarriages before she had Rachel but that was the first time Sam really talked about it.

"Hey G?"

Callen turned slightly.

"You want me to stay?"

Callen shook his head. "I do need you to do something for me though."

"What?

"I _really_ need you to get is get my pain meds. They're on the table beside my bed. I took one before I left but thought I would be home before it wore off." He took his house key off his keychain and handed it to his best friend. Sam left Callen's side with a promise to be back soon. He watched as his best friend pushed the button for the elevator and then the senior agent turned and slowly pushed open the door separating him from his girlfriend.

_Everything_ faded into the background as he watched Katie reach for her cup of water on the tray at the side of her bed. She hadn't seen him so the _"Why me?"_ he heard from the doorway tugged at his heartstrings as she winced in frustration at not being able to get it to her mouth.

"Let me help," Called offered as he reached her bedside.

Dark, blue eyes, lacking the vibrancy Callen had fallen in love with, met his tired, lighter blue ones.

"Thanks."

"You gave us all quite a scare."

"Callen, I …"

"Here, drink this." He held the cup, with a straw in it, up to her mouth, as she was still quite groggy from the sedation.

"Feels good on throat." Her words were soft and Callen wanted more than anything to reach out wrap her in his arms and never let go. Her eyes glanced towards the door.

"Mike had to go back to work as did Taryn. They'll come by later."

A short-lived smile tugged at her dry lips. "So tired," she whispered before turning her head to the side, and drifted off to sleep.

The empty bed on the other side of the curtain proved too tempting for the Agent on the mend. It was only forty-five minutes later when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. With the curtain parted, he glanced over at his sleeping beauty before making his way out of the room. There stood his partner, best friend and saviour of the day with the plastic bottle bearing his name and a cup filled with water.

"Thanks man. I owe you one."

"Just _one_?" Sam couldn't resist the light-hearted humour and wink of his eye as Callen downed the water, the most welcomed pill going with it. "Call me if you need anything." And with that Sam disappeared leaving Callen with a reminder of how fortunate he was to have Sam Hanna as a friend.

The day went by with Katie drifting in and out of sleep. The nurses overlooked Callen's use of the bed beside hers as it wasn't needed and based on the physical appearance of the handsome man's face and holding of his side as he moved, they figured it was okay for him to use it. He still had his NCIS badge (but not his gun) and took the opportunity to flash it, as well as the skin under his shirt, when a nurse had been called in to help Katie out of bed to use the washroom and gave Callen a most unpleasant look as if to ask why _he_ couldn't help her.

Katie's prognosis was excellent but she would need to be "off her feet" for at least ten days. The surgeon requested an overnight stay in hospital just to be sure everything was good before she went home. A wonderful nurse named Candace helped Callen set up day home care for Katie, as he wasn't able to assist her with many physical tasks as he also was under orders from his doctor to be taking it easy. He agreed without hesitation though, to stay with her at night, as she didn't want to be alone.

* * *

"I'm so glad to be home," Katie said as she welcomed the feel of her bed beneath her sore body.

"Only nine more days," Callen said with half a smile as he lay down beside her.

It was agreed that they would sleep in the same bed. Although still very sore with his own injuries, Katie's were a bit more mobility limiting due to the invasive surgery through her abdomen.

"Look at us," she said trying not to laugh. "You'd think we were an old couple with all of our pills, aches and pains.

His smile had always been a source of security for Katie, knowing that everything would be all right, now matter how dark things were in the moment. He gave her a full smile but when it disappeared as fast as it had appeared, she knew there was still some darkness looming over them.

"So who told you?" Katie asked with certainty that this was one of the rain spots in the dark cloud over them.

"Taryn called me. But it was Mike who told her to."

"I didn't want you to worry about me when you have your own injuries to deal with."

"_Seriously?_ You were you pregnant with _our_ child, ended up in the hospital and you were concerned about my_ injuries?"_

_Silence_

_"Were pregnant"_ The words stung Katie's ears.

"Say what you want but I was thinking about you and I didn't want you feeling you had to be with me when there really wasn't anything you could do. Besides, you were supposed to be resting."

"Did you really think I was going to let some bruised ribs and a little blurred vision keep me from being with you?"

Katie's head turned sharply towards Callen. _"Blurred vision?"_

_Uh oh._ That wasn't supposed to be said.

"You are incredible G. Callen and not in a good way. Your injuries are more serious that you let on, aren't they?"

No escaping the full truth now. "Yes. Doctor said ribs aren't healing like they used to and trauma to my right eye is more than just being black and blue."

"So what is your reason for not telling me this _Agent Callen_?"

_Uh oh again._ If that sarcasm had been darts, he would be dead or completely blind. He knew as soon as he started to speak how ironic his words were.

"I didn't want you to worry about me when you had enough to deal with."

"And now? I have even more to deal with. Including a man who claims to love me but won't tell me the whole truth – _about anything._" She was sore, tired and pissed so she didn't care that her were words were a jab at his inability to share many things with her.

"Katie, I was only …"

"Doing what you thought was best... _blah, blah, blah_. So it's okay for you to decide what's best for me but not for me to decide what's best for you? Don't answer that. I was being pretentious."

"Katie, we need to talk. It'll help."

"We_ are_ talking. Oh wait, let me guess what you want to talk about. How my life was going along just fine until _you_ entered it. _Or_ about how the job I worked my ass for is most likely going to be given to someone who isn't fucked up in the head and..." the next words took Callen to a level of sadness he'd never experienced, "able to stay pregnant."

Tear flowed down her cheeks as she started to feel the emotional pain of losing their child for the first time.

His body was now flush against hers, his thumb gently touching her cheek, wanting so desperately to wipe away a tear and in turn, some of her pain.

"It didn't really hit me until I got home this morning that I had been pregnant and now, I'm not. And there's no baby."

Callen had brief thoughts like hers but for him he was most grateful that she was okay. And that they still had a chance at a future together. It was devastating to know their love had created a life and that Mother Nature had intervened, like she knew it wasn't the right time for them to be parents. Didn't matter if it was the right time or not, it was mean and cruel for that to be decided for them.

"I just want to sleep," Katie whispered as she let go of everything and accepted the comforting warmth (and love) of the man beside her.

* * *

It wasn't until night five that Katie was really ready to talk. They had just gone through the motions of life, him arriving just after she had her dinner, for four nights. Tired and emotionally drained they both took advantage of the early bedtime their bodies seemed to crave. The few hours before that were spent playing a board game or watching a movie. After arriving on night five, Callen noticed Katie was more mobile but despite feeling better she still had to give her body time to properly heal. Callen was also feeling better and only taking a painkiller when absolutely necessary. He still wasn't able to drive and neither was Katie but they were itching to go out beyond the walls of their homes. Arriving before she had made her dinner, he told the taxi driver to wait.

Dinner out and fresh surroundings were a good start to what would prove to be needed for them to _really_ talk about what happened.


	17. Chapter 17 - Recovery, Part Two

**Chapter 17 - Recovery, Part Two**

* * *

"This is just what I needed," Katie stated as they sat in the corner of a local restaurant awaiting the arrival of their server.

"I thought it would be nice to get out. Resting can be exhausting," Callen quipped with that beautiful smile of his.

"Your face is healing well. How's the vision?"

"Better. Still a bit fuzzy, I go next week to an eye specialist."

"That's good." Katie was quiet for few moments before speaking again, "You have such a handsome face, and it's hard looking at it when it's black and blue." The server poured some water in their glasses. "It's a reminder of what you went through."

Dinner and drink orders were taken. Neither of them could have alcohol, but there weren't any food restrictions so they picked the most tantalizing entrées on the menu. They chatted about non-relationship and injury things during the meal and instead of ordering dessert to satisfy their sweet tooth cravings, Callen suggested a walk on the boardwalk which just happened to be across the road from where they were.

"That sounds good but I don't think I'm up for that."

"Okay," Callen replied, and then tried to think of something else they could do.

"I'd like to go home, if that's okay?"

"Of course." Callen paid the bill, then called a taxi before they headed outside to wait.

"These must be costing you a small fortune," Katie said as the taxi pulled up.

He shook his head. "Boss set up an account for me for being injured on the job. Small perk, if you can call it that."

Callen enjoyed spending time at Katie's home and not just for the fact that she was there. Her home was warm and comforting. The colours on the wall, the little knickknacks throughout of things she collected and furniture that was practical _and_ comfortable. But as much as he liked her home, there was only one place he could (still) imagine them living. Right now his home was essentially bare, but it had so much potential and with his (extremely) conservative style and her functional, yet warm and inviting style, his (and eventually, _their_) home would be where they would live, raise a family and spend their golden years. Well, that was his deep seeded plan.

"Who would have thought going out for dinner at twenty-four would make you tired? Katie asked, as she got ready for bed.

Callen just smiled, remembering the many times when at that age he was just thankful to make it through the day _alive_. "So what is it tonight? Action flick or me whipping your ass in Scrabble?" he asked.

"Neither. And for the record, you won that game because of _one_ good word on a triple word score."

"I'll stick with my version of the story," Callen retorted with a wink of his good eye. "I think we are limited in our options here. What did you have in mind?"

"Pillow therapy."

"Never heard of it."

"Instead of lying on a couch, you lie in bed and _therapeat_."

"No wonder I beat you at Scrabble."

Laughter was exactly what they both needed and together they _always_ managed to be able to find it, even amongst the (seemingly endless) dark spots that found their way into their relationship.

"I most definitely like this therapy session best," Katie said softly as she snuggled into Callen as much as her body would allow.

"So what is it I have that the 'good doctor' doesn't?" Callen asked as Katie gently rested her head on his shoulder. Surprisingly, that was one part of his body that didn't hurt.

"The inability to charge me three figures for an hour session."

"So I'm cheap."

"And easy."

"Only for you Kates. Only for you," he replied before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"So many things to talk about," Katie voiced. "Where to start?"

It was no surprise Callen fell into his role quite easily due to the many therapy sessions of his own over the years, even though he was on the other side for this one.

"How are you feeling right now?" he asked thinking back to the many sessions he had with Dr. Nate Getz.

"Tired and peaceful."

"Anything else?" The handsome, striking blue-eyed 'doctor' asked.

"Grateful."

"For what? Be more specific."

"For having you in my life."

Callen turned on his side, _"Really?"_ Given what had happened since returning from Kenya, he was surprised to hear her use _that_ word.

"Yes. The things happening to us are just part of life. I've had _a lot_ of time to think during the past few days, and although it really sucks that those things happened, we have each other, our wounds will heal and we _will_ move on with our lives _together_."

Knowing she only wanted him to listen, he offered a slight smile or nod instead of offering words that would most likely be redundant.

_"First things first,"_ Katie thought. _Start at the beginning._

"When I remembered what I saw in Kenya, it triggered more than I thought at first. Not only did it have me learning something new about you, it reminded me of the loss of my mom and best friend. How they were both gone in the blink of an eye." She shifted her position so she was face to face with her 'therapist'. "And if you are capable of doing _that_, then so are _other_ people."

This was his time to listen, not to comment so his thoughts drifted back to their first "study session" while Katie went to use the bathroom. He would never forget the look of concern in her eyes when she asked him if the work he did was dangerous. That one word, _yes,_ brought to light the thing he dreaded most about being in a relationship. And that was the undeniably, realistic possibility of him leaving the relationship and the world, _before_ her.

Upon returning to bed, Katie took a moment to analyze the man before her. Everyday she was in a relationship with him it was almost guaranteed that there would be an unforeseen revelation.

Callen noticed Katie was looking a little pale and commented on it.

"I'm feeling a little lightheaded and nauseated but with what my body's been through, I'm fortunate it's just _that_."

"Don't make light of it. If it continues, you'll see your doctor, right?"

"Yes, I will. She loved him for being concerned but at the same time she had managed quite well for twenty-four years without him.

Callen picked up where Katie left off. "I always make my safety, that of my partner and team, the number one priority while working."

"I know you do and that is somewhat reassuring. I will never stop thinking about the high risks you take every day you go to work. But I do know that when we are together, I won't take a moment of it for granted." Her next words surprised him, "And I am most certain that the villagers in Kenya that we called friends and family, will treasure every moment they have with Kamaria and Kaisa. They will do that with you to thank."

"I don't like that I am able to _that_ but that was one situation I was thankful that I _could_ do it.

The relaxed atmosphere of her bedroom, combined with painkillers, was proving to bring forth continuous confessions, which is the main point of any therapy session.

"I can't promise I won't have times when what happened over there will trigger my PTSD, but it won't be about you, it will be about …" A pause, several blinks of her tiring eyes and a hard swallow to move the lump in her throat down. "I know now that I was pregnant and I had taken that same walk with Kamaria several times. It very well could have been me. And had you, or anyone, _not_ intervened ..."

"It wasn't you." Taking the brunt of the pain with his body movements, he moved closer to her and gently manoeuvred his arm under her head. "It wasn't."

Several minutes passed as Callen tried to think of s_omething_ to help further sooth her. Sex of any kind was not happening for either of them nor was asking her to lie on her stomach to give her a back massage.

"Turn on your left side," he instructed, as he patiently watched her move to the position of being on her _right_ side.

Katie ignored his quizzical look as she gently grazed her fingers over his chest scars.

"These heal, but what about the memories?" she asked quietly.

G. Callen wasn't sure he'd ever fully get used to the intense, deep level of emotional intimacy he shared with Katie, but he wouldn't trade it for _anything._

"They take much longer to heal but with time, like the physical scars, they fade. You learn to put them in a place where you don't forget them but also where you don't have them dominating your thoughts."

"You're still my therapist right? So whatever I say stays between the two of us?"

"Yes." He trusted her with his innermost secrets and feelings, and he willingly reciprocated that trust.

"Part of me is relieved I'm not (still) pregnant."

His ears perked up and he met her eyes - eyes that were filled with so many feelings and emotions as she continued.

"I know we would have made things work but that's not what I want for us, or our child."

And if G. Callen dug into his inner being, he too would admit he was feeling that as well.

When 'Dr. G' remained silent, Katie continued. "The other part of me is sad that the life we created, with our love that night in Kenya, is gone."

He wholeheartedly agreed with her on that.

"I am trying to focus on that I know we _can_ have a child and that when the time is right for us, it _will_ happen." She gently closed her eyes for a moment before continuing and when she made contact with his eyes, there, in _his_ blue orbs, was the image of what they would (again) eventually create together. "And we can embrace all that being parents has to offer."

"What if you hadn't had complications?"

There was _the question_ that was undoubtedly going to be asked and she wasn't offended by it, as she would have asked the same thing if she were in his position.

"If you're asking me if I would deliberately terminate a pregnancy with _our_ child – the answer is _never!_"

People can talk about what they would or would not do in a situation but until it_ actually happens_, those thoughts aren't fair game with reality. But G. Callen believed Katie's affirmation without any doubt. Grateful for their ability to always get to the heart of things, they were both feeling optimistic about the days ahead of them.


	18. Chapter 18 - Fifty Shades of G Callen

**Chapter 18 - Fifty Shades of G. Callen**

**A/N:** This chapter was written after I (unfortunately) watched the movie _Fifty Shades of Grey_.

* * *

_Six Weeks Later, December 15th, Katie's Home_

"Well, that was a waste of time," Callen announced as the credits to the movie they had just watched, filled the screen.

"Oh come on, it wasn't _that_ bad!"

"Yes. It. Was."

"There had to be at least _one_ part you liked."

Callen pretended to think for a few moments with his forefinger pressed firmly against his lips. "There was _one_ really good part."

Katie imagined him saying when Christian fucked a virgin Anna or when they had their "business" meeting.

"When Anna got into the elevator and said "Christian"—_the second time_."

"That was the last scene of the movie Callen!"

He gave her his best grin and she agreed that it wasn't worth all of the hype it had received. "The movie could have ended after the first time Anna said his name and I wouldn't have missed anything of importance."

"There was a lot of good things said about the books, and mixed reviews about the movie, so I thought what the heck, let's watch it."

"Next time, don't think that," Callen said as he turned on to his side and brought Katie closer to him. "That movie undeniably proved that money _can_ buy a lot of stupidity and ignorance. It should have been called _Fifty Shades of Stupidity_. Or, _Fifty Ways To Get Fucked &amp; Tortured By A Billionaire_."

"So you don't have any fantasies about, you know, getting rough with me?" Katie's voice was low as she welcomed the comforting hand on her thigh. "And angry-sex isn't the same as "getting rough."

He remembered that incident all too well. "You mean intentionally causing you pain and me getting off on it?"

"When you put it like _that_."

"Doesn't sound so sexy, does it?"

"Anna did open her mind to the possibility of being dominated."

"Only after being coerced into thinking about it and her innocence exploited along the way." Realizing the conversation could go on indefinitely, Callen softly kissed the notable woman in bed with him. "I'd prefer to think about the _Fifty Shades of G. Callen_." Fifty ways to pleasure a woman rather than God knows how many ways Christian was conjuring up to hurt Anna."

"I guess that is one movie we won't be watching again. I'll have to tell my friends not to recommend any more movies. Well, unless Bruce Willis is in it. "You know he can't make a bad movie." They both laughed and Callen shook his head at Katie having a crush on the action film star.

"How any man could want to hurt a woman, especially one he loves, just to get sexual pleasure for himself, is beyond my comprehension."

Realizing _this _conversation was going in a direction that could greatly benefit her, Katie ditched talk about the movie and focused on the extraordinary man beside her.

"Only _fifty_ ways?" Katie asked with a seductive tone that she knew was guaranteed to get Callen to reveal at least one of those ways.

"And then some." With a sexy lick of his lips, she couldn't resist kissing them. "I am going to do number four from my list as soon as your doctor gives you the all clear." With seven weeks of a strict eight week 'no intercourse order' behind them, Callen chose cheekiness to help deal with his primal desire to be with Katie in that way.

"Number four?"

"Oh yeah. Number four." His eyes latched on to the pink nightshirt covering her breasts, her response to his lingering eye, not abashedly showing her arousal."

_Number four. And then number one._

"Oh my. Your list sounds like it could be _really kinky_."

"You have no idea, Katie. No idea."

"I wouldn't say that G. Callen. Are you a mind reader? Do you know what is on _my_ list of things I want to do to you?"

His body froze. One hand under her neck, the other leaving her heavenly hip, lazily finding it's way up her torso, under the light fabric, to her always-tempting-to-touch breasts.

In the cavernous depths of his thoughts was how he was going to maintain self-control and not plunge his sudden hardness in and past the walls of Katie's inner core. _Four months._ It had been four long months since they had expressed their love in one of the most intimate ways possible. The result of their last encounter almost cost Katie her childbearing abilities and even worse … her life. He worked everyday to bury that further away in the crevasses of his mind. She had been back to work for three full weeks and seemed to be emotionally stable as well.

After returning to work, the time they had together had been scattered over the calendar as her busy schedule with work and volunteering during the holiday season, took priority. Callen kept his envy of Katie returning to work sooner than him, to himself. It wasn't a competition but the Special Agent was going stir crazy at home, especially when Katie wasn't around. A doctor's appointment tomorrow morning (hopefully) would give him the words he desperately needed to hear:_ Cleared for Duty._

Just as he was about to pull back slightly from Katie's inviting body to take a drink of the water on the nightstand, the warmth of a warm hand brought him to his senses and he most willingly allowed it to do what it wanted (to him). She was good. _Really good_. And not just at what her hands (lathered in lubricant) were doing to him, but in getting the fabric barrier of his shorts pooled around his ankles without notice from the seasoned Federal Agent. A caress up his inner thigh, her nails grazing under his testicles caused just enough of a twitch in him to forget what had been in his thoughts moments ago.

With each stroke of her proficient hands, his body went into an abyss of pleasure (Katie's attention to preparedness _almost_ surpassed her skill). The continuously building arousal had Callen needing to touch her but she stayed his hand with a friendly but firm slap. Oh how he _hated_ when he wasn't allowed to touch her. Still on his back, his thoughts went to the movie they had just watched.

A sensitive nerve had been hit as he watched Christian refuse Anna's touch. That had been G. Callen - until he met the women currently showing him that human touch is a good thing and often leads to more in relationship, especially when _both_ parties show they enjoy being givers _and _takers.

Katie Mitchell's touch extended well past the walls of their bedrooms. Whether it was by holding his hand when out in public, cupping his cheek while kissing him or a friendly smack on the ass when he was taking too long in the bathroom, Callen could always count on her showing him that (more than welcomed) affection.

In the past, allowing a woman to touch him (as G. Callen) was in essence him acknowledging he liked it and heaven forbid, needed it. And that could eventually lead to acceptance and trust between them. With his unstable life, that wasn't an option. Using an alias protected him from that happening. Prior to meeting Katie, fantasies were where he would go to imagine what a trusting, respectful, honest relationship would be like.

He opened his eyes and was brought out of his reverie by a request to sit up. All of those fantasies were now a reality he quite enjoyed.

_What the hell is she going to do to me now?_

Supporting himself with his hands behind his back, Katie positioned her body so she was straddling his left leg. It only took a few seconds for her strategy to be brought to light. A slight rub of her crotch on his shin was just enough stimulation to enable her to keep her attentions on the thick hardness between her hands. They both watched, kissed and when he reached out too free one of her breasts from confinement, Katie willing allowed him the added (visual) stimulation.

Everything about the moment was hot, sexy and ever so tempting to ignore her doctor's orders. The air was filled with pleasurable moans and words. Callen felt his body tense as Katie cupped his balls letting him know she had heard his words, "Just like that" whispered through his gritting teeth. His vulnerability was at maximum capacity with both arms again behind him, every inch of him on display when his whole body took on the anticipation of climaxing. When his breath hitched ever so slightly Katie upped her ministrations and gave him two deep sucks with her mouth. Then he hit the point of no return and Katie allowed his semen to flow over her uncovered breast.


	19. Chapter 19 - In With the Old, Part One

**Chapter 19 - In With the Old, Part One**

* * *

_January 1_

"_Happy fucking New Year_," Callen muttered to himself as he made breakfast alone in his kitchen.

It certainly wasn't how he pictured he would be spending this New Year's. Kensi and Deeks had invited him to a party they were going to but he declined. Things had been going very well with Katie, so he thought until he was shot down like a plane in enemy territory. Since the city was practically a ghost town with half the businesses closed and half the residents nursing various forms of hangovers, Callen settled in his chair and sipped his tea while reflecting on what led to him sitting at home, alone, on this particular New Year's Day.

* * *

_Flashbacks_

_Monday Morning, December 16th_

"We should be conserving water. Look, it says so right on this notice I received last month." Katie showed Callen the flyer that had been on the front of the fridge, with the bold reminder on it to conserve water.

He sipped his coffee while checking messages on his phone. He called Sam to remind him he would be late as he had a doctor's appointment which was a very crucial one, as he would learn if he was finally cleared for duty – or not.

Katie finished her breakfast, scoured around for some fixings for lunch before waving the flyer back in his face.

Tossing it across the kitchen he waited for it to fall to the floor. "You do realize that us showering together will more likely than not, result in using twice as much water than if we showered alone." Shirtless with only his boxer-briefs on, Katie was determined to show her reluctant lover that they could indeed shower together _and_ conserve water.

"See, when we multi-task and work together, we achieve our goals," Katie announced as she rinsed off the soap Callen had applied to her back.

Feeling extra confident that morning, he was determined, or rather exceedingly optimistic, to make good on his promise to Sam and would be going directly from the doctor's office to OSP and not back home for more resting. With that confidence, he silently accepted Katie's challenge to continue conserving water by showering together. Callen knew that hygiene wasn't the only thing that would be tended to under the steady stream of hot water so he quickly proposed how they could cultivate "the other thing". Katie nodded in agreement.

It only took Callen a few seconds to firmly press his back against the tiled wall, focusing his eyes on Katie clad in only a blue shower cap. He was horny. _Really fucking horny_ and stroking himself, while she washed her face, was the natural thing to do. In the small confinement of the stall, Katie didn't need to look to see what he was doing. She quickly turned to meet his lingering eyes before pulling the showerhead off its holder. Katie instantly realized that Callen would be without water on him while he pleasured himself.

_How could I do this and still keep the warmth of the water on both of us?_

She couldn't. Placing the nozzle back in the holder, Katie leaned against the opposing wall and joined him in conserving water.

The unusual sexiness of the plastic keeping her long hair dry was replaced by the always-extreme hotness of Katie masturbating. Like he wasn't even there, her fingers moved swiftly, (after all, they were conserving water) her eyelids flickered and her body moved to the rhythm her hands had established. Every time her moans of pleasure peaked, Callen moved his hand a little faster with a slightly firmer grip. Being in tune with her body and actions _always_ heightened his arousal. Katie was a little less obvious in her attentions to the handsome, blue-eyed man in the shower with her. It was a "do it yourself" morning shower which neither of them had any issues with. Their imaginations, the steamy atmosphere – from the water and the actions taking place - moved things along rather quickly with Callen ejaculating a few moments after Katie's orgasm filled her body.

_Later that day_

The only thing that day that topped the incredibleness of his and Katie's morning shower was the news that he, Special Agent, G. Callen, was cleared for duty. No one was happier to see the team's leader than Hetty. With the note from his doctor, that Callen handed to her personally, in her hand, Hetty watched the team do what they do best.

With each injury her Senior Agent sustained, Hetty grew less convinced that he would make it to the traditional age of retirement. Unlocking the bottom drawer of her desk, she pulled out a rather thick file (any medical file that had more than one sheet was considered thick by the veteran Operations Manager) and slid the most current report on top and put it back in the drawer. As she had done many times before, she silently prayed that would be the last time she ever saw that particular file on her favourite agent.

A team-bonding meeting after work hours kept Callen from sharing, in person, his news with Katie. The team's dynamics had shaped well with Kensi and Grace working together. Sam wouldn't admit it, but he missed Deeks. Grace was more than capable of filling his spot but she didn't have his quirky sense of humour or unruly hair. Callen fell back into his groove immediately as Sam's partner. Some things really never do change.

The next four days were slow with criminal activity around Los Angeles. Kensi's philosophy was that the criminals were busy shopping and getting ready for the holidays with their families. Grace piped up and agreed as two of the men she had been undercover with in the past, made a special point to make time for their family at Christmas. Criminal activity would have to wait a few days. Callen wasn't a "bad guy" but he too would be leaving behind his life as an NCIS Special Agent to celebrate the festive time of year with Katie, his friends/family and her family, which really was Michelle and Mike's, but she was always included in anything they did as a family.

Knowing her family of agents all had their own things to do over the holidays, Hetty had planned ahead and arranged to have the entire team over at one of her homes on the twenty-third. Michelle, Rachel and Katie were also invited.

Callen was really getting into the holiday spirit and no one was more surprised than he was. He owed it all to a woman named Kathryn Mitchell. Plans were all in place: Twenty-third with Hetty, Christmas Eve with Mike's family, Christmas Day dinner at the Hanna's and then seven days off work for he and Katie, doing whatever they pleased.

With a December 5th birthday, Callen was ignored that day as all of the people in the places he lived "in the system" were focused on the upcoming holidays. When Katie had asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday, he said, "Nothing. It's just another day." Katie disagreed, as it was the "birth-day" of the man she loved and intended on spending the rest of her life with. She ignored him by showing up on his doorstep at seven o'clock to take him out for dinner. A small cake was brought to their table after they finished their meals and although he didn't like the sing along of "Happy Birthday" by the entire restaurant, he more than liked the chocolate cake and person he shared it with.

Katie had recovered remarkably well from her surgery and was back in the full swing of things at work. Taryn, as her boss, had gone above and beyond her "employer" understanding of Katie's situation. As a new friend it was learned that she had had a miscarriage at seventeen weeks just after having started her first job after University. Complications had occurred and her boss at the time wasn't very understanding, and since she was still on her three-month probation, she was let go. Taryn swore if she ever had people working for her, she would _never_ be such an insensitive bitch.

Callen had miraculously secured shipping for all of the supplies Katie had managed to procure for Kamaria by December 20th. It would be well into the New Year before they received confirmation that they had arrived in the tiny, still unnamed, village where Kamaria lived.

Up until the twenty-third of December, work was slow for Callen but Katie was at her busiest time of the year. More suicides occurred at Christmas than any other time of the year. Unfortunately, that also pertained to child abuse. Neglect was rampant with the stress many parents and caregivers faced with the holidays. Katie never could understand how such a supposedly joyous, loving and giving holiday celebration could cause such pain and suffering for so many.

* * *

_December 23rd, Hetty's House_

After wrapping up the afternoon festivities at a local woman's shelter, Katie made her way to Hetty Lange's home. Callen hadn't hesitated to give her the directions even though its location was highly guarded. Kensi answered the door and welcomed Katie in. The junior agent guided Katie into the living room where everyone was gathered. Callen, who was talking to Hetty, waved Katie over, gave her a quick kiss and then introduced her to everyone.

Deeks then called Callen over to settle and argument between Eric and Sam, which left Katie alone with Hetty. Callen hesitated to breakup the threesome but after Hetty's hand shoed him away, he glanced at Katie who silently reassured him she would be just fine with his boss. He reluctantly left the young and elderly women alone, after all, what could go wrong? They were only talking. Callen's paranoia had served him well but this time it was totally unnecessary. Katie was an extremely charming and sociable person. When Hetty left her chat with Katie to tend to an issue in the kitchen, Michelle came over and started talking to her. While Katie chatted with Michelle, Hetty now finished in the kitchen, cornered Callen at the bar.

"She's very lovely, Mr. Callen."

He nodded in agreement. They both turned to watch the newest member of their "family" blend in as though she had been around for years.

"Thank you for inviting her," Callen said as he poured a drink for Hetty.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Callen shrugged his shoulders and glanced around the room. "She's an outsider."

"Oh Mr. Callen. The woman who has you totally smitten and all but confiscated the key to your heart _is_ family."

Callen felt his face warm and looked at his feet.

"How is she doing?" Hetty asked, Callen knowing exactly what she meant.

When Sam had returned to work after dropping off Callen's painkillers at the hospital, he had filled the team in on what had happened, per Callen's request.

"Very well." Callen could usually read Hetty but the look on her face at that moment was confusing him. He took a gamble on what it meant. "We were careful Hetty."

"Mr. Callen you don't have to explain _that_ to me."

There was only one other thing that could justify the unreadable look on her face.

"She's twenty-four. Twenty-five in March." Before Hetty could ask, he answered the unspoken question, "Yes, she knows how old I am."

"Age is only a number Mr. Callen."

Callen added the rightly anticipated "But ..."

"No buts Mr. Callen. Just be certain she, _this_, is what you want."

He didn't hesitate to reply, "I am."


	20. Chapter 20 - In With the Old, Part Two

**Chapter 20 - In With the Old, Part Two**

* * *

_Christmas Eve_

Callen was welcomed, with open arms, into Katie's "family." Their lack of blood families was a deep connection they shared but rarely talked about. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't a big deal as families came in all different forms. Laughter was in abundance as "Uncle Joe" told story after story. Some funny, some sad but all were listened to by an entranced audience, including Callen.

Callen chalked Katie wanting to sleep alone in her own home the previous night to the hustle and bustle and needing some quiet time. When it came time to leave the festivities on Christmas Eve, Katie asked Callen to take her home. He just _assumed_ he would be staying the night.

"I need some time alone," Katie announced as he pulled into her driveway.

As he put the car in park he was surprised by her affirmation.

"Oh."

"You're upset."

"Not upset, just surprised. You went home alone last night."

"I didn't know there was a rule that said I couldn't sleep in my own bed, alone, two nights in a row."

"Sarcasm isn't really your thing Katie."

"I feel as though I am being pulled in several directions and I just want to relax and sleep in my own bed without anyone bothering me."

"So I'm a bother when I sleep over." He could sense something wasn't right with Katie but not pinpoint it.

"You don't feel the need to just be alone every so often at night?"

"Not if means being without you."

Hetty was right – he was smitten as smitten could be. Callen was very aware that Katie had long ago captured his heart and he was always looking at what he had gained with their relationship, and not what he had lost (as a bachelor).

Katie was tired, emotionally drained and her sudden yawn reaffirmed it. "Thank you for taking me home."

"You're welcome."

"I'll meet you at Sam's tomorrow."

Callen's face went rigid. "It's Christmas Day."

"I know. We're still going to his house, right?"

"Yeah, we are." His was trying to stay positive, "I thought we would share our first Christmas morning together, by actually being _together_."

"It's been a really rough few months and although I feel much better physically, my emotions are all over the place right now. I am trying to accommodate everyone at this time of year, but I also need to take care of me."

Callen swore he saw an almost desperate plea on her face.

"I'm sorry. I just thought …"

She cut him off with a soft kiss, "Don't be sorry. I have been trying to keep my emotional baggage out of other people's lives so as not to put a damper on their holidays."

Callen welcomed the kiss despite it being very short. "I'm not everyone Katie."

"I know."

They shared a lingering kiss, Callen briefly contemplating getting Katie to change her mind and then him following her into the house.

When he parted their lips, reality hit him hard as he looked into Katie's eyes. With their close proximity, the dark circles under her eyes alerted him, as he had never seen them before.

"Are you sure it's just the time of year? It looks like you haven't been sleeping well."

"It's late. I'll see you at Sam's tomorrow."

"Okay." Avoidance of talking about things was another thing they had in common although the delay in Callen getting things out was decreasing with time. He waited while she gathered her bags. "Wait, let me help you with those."

After she unlocked the door, Callen was still hoping for an invitation in. Not just because _he_ didn't want to be alone on Christmas morning, but also because he had one of his "gut feelings" and was hesitant to leave Katie.

As if to read his mind Katie spoke, "I'm a big girl Callen. I really just need this time alone, even if sleep doesn't come easily."

"You'll call me if you need anything, right?"

"Of course I will." She gave him another kiss to reassure him she would be fine. "I love you."

"And I love you," Callen whispered into her ear before waiting to hear the click of the lock.

Lying in bed, covers pulled up, as the nights were cool, Callen reassured himself that everything was good between him and Katie and she just needed some down time, alone. He had been there many times in his life –until he met Katie Mitchell. Her presence had changed everything and he wouldn't trade it for anything. Everyday with her was a step away from living in a past that only brought his present life more uncertainty, feelings of longing for answers and more questions. He smiled fondly as he put his arm on the spot in the bed reserved only for her. They would have seven days together before heading back to work in the New Year and Callen was going to make the most of every minute they would spend together.

* * *

_Christmas Day_

With Rachel's request to make this Christmas dinner extra special for Uncle Callen and Aunt Katie, the Hanna's ensured everything was just right for when they arrived. Living in Los Angeles meant there was always a new trend, including what decorations to have at Christmas. Traditionalists at heart, Sam and his family had lots of red and green in their home. The tree was six feet with an angel atop it that had been in Michelle's family for four generations. Tastefully decorated with ornaments and presents strategically placed under it, Rachel asked if she could give Uncle Callen and Aunt Katie her presents right away. She reminded her father that she had cleaned up all the wrapping paper like he asked after all of her gifts had been opened. Sam agreed.

"Uncle Callen!" Rachel literally yelled after she opened the door.

Hugs were given all around before Rachel quietly asked Callen if she could call Katie "Aunt Katie." Sam had told her it was up to Katie, as did Callen and she could ask her when she arrived. Despite only being around her a few times, Rachel was very fond of the woman who spent a lot of time with her Uncle Callen. Rachel showed Callen the gifts she received earlier that morning while they waited for Katie to arrive. Sam and Michelle took the time to relax with a glass of wine, watching their best friend interact with their daughter. Twenty minutes later Katie arrived and was greeted with hugs from all. Katie sensed something was up with Rachel but just assumed it was all of the excitement of the day. It didn't take long for Rachel to ask Katie her question.

"I would like that very much," Katie replied to the young girl's question. Callen smiled appreciatively at Katie before Rachel was bouncing up and down with excitement for Callen and Katie to open their presents from her.

The aroma of the turkey cooking in the oven filled the air and Callen was thankful to have such great friends in Sam and Michelle. He was a bit bummed out in the morning with waking up alone but once he saw Rachel's beyond excited face and Katie arrived, he was over it.

Callen knew he had to respect Katie's need for alone time but he was so caught up in escaping his solitaire past, that he found it challenging. They had been apart for too many weeks in their young relationship and Kenya wasn't exactly the way he pictured them spending their first vacation together.

Sam had previously expressed some concern to Callen that his life as a hermit might come back to him once the novelty of his new relationship wore off. Callen assured him that although there would be phases in his relationship with Katie, he was more than done with living the loner lifestyle. This was his chance to live his life as he had always dreamed of and he would do _anything_ to make it happen.

* * *

_December 30th_

Callen was growing impatient with Katie after she dismissed him for four straight days. He was trying to understand and support her needs but he also had needs. It wasn't about sex. He had two perfectly good hands. It was about companionship, something he had never really had except for Sam. He and Katie were friends who liked to be with each other doing various things. Katie's eight-week doctor's ordered abstinence from intercourse had passed. She hadn't mentioned anything about seeing the surgeon or her family doctor and his hesitancy to question her came from his own personal experiences with recoveries.

On the fourth day he called her.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner? Making one of your favourites, Chicken Parmesan." Callen was trying to hide his worry that something might be wrong with her physically and she was reluctant to tell him.

"That sounds good. I'll be over at five, okay?"

"I'll see you then."

Callen set the table and placed the yellow roses, he bought while out getting the makings for dinner, in the center of the table. Erring on the side of caution, he purchased a non-alcoholic sparkling wine.

After Katie arrived at his home, she and Callen talked while dinner finished cooking and as if her having down time away from him had never existed.

"How are you feeling?" Callen asked as he topped up her glass with the chilled "wine".

"Better. Did a lot of sleeping, some reading and had lunch with a few friends yesterday. Also did some cleaning that I had been putting off." She took a few sips of her drink before continuing, "A good, deep cleaning of a kitchen can be very therapeutic."

The laughter that had been missing between the two of them had resurfaced.

"I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Me too."

They randomly talked about various things while they ate the delicious meal and then took their dessert to the living room. Sitting on either side of his memory box were two clay "sculptures" Rachel had made for him. She had told him they were supposed to be small vases but didn't turn out that way. He didn't care. She made them and the lively colors she used on them brightened up the room. When Katie commented on how nice they looked on the mantel, she added that the framed picture, Rachel had painted for her, was now hanging in her kitchen. More talk ensued before Katie announced she was ready for bed. Callen was surprised that she said 'bed' and not 'ready to go home. Welcoming the change in his girlfriend, he told her he would clean up and join her shortly to actually sleep so to say he was shocked when he found her naked under the sheets, would be a big understatement.

* * *

"_Oh God!_" Katie moaned when Callen's tongue swirled around her belly button. The thoughts he had been having of Katie's sudden change of attitude towards him being unsettling, disappeared soon after they started making out.

He bit his lower lip, "I missed you. _This_ and everything before we came into the bedroom."

Her sweet laugh further aroused him. "We were only apart a few days. How did you ever survive when you were on your assignments?"

"Lots ... _Mmmmmm_ … and lots of thoughts like the ones going through my head right now." That smirk and twinkling of his eyes meant Katie had better brace herself for something of epic proportions to come her way. But first she would (again) show him how much she appreciated his support, understanding and unconditional love.

"_Oh fuck Katie!_"

Katie's mouth was full, hindering her ability to give a reply. His soft whimpers along with the sucking and slurping noises (she wasn't shy in letting him know how much she enjoyed performing oral sex on him_) _emitted from her mouth. This time, he wouldn't watch. He would lay back and enjoy the pleasure she was giving him. Her hands roamed a little more than usual causing him to buck his hips off the bed several times. As he felt his body tense for the spilling of his seed, quick scenarios of where Katie would have it go ran through his mind.

The most obvious was in her mouth, which was always hot and sensuous without being crude and well, downright disgusting like in some of the "movies" he had seen over the years. What he would _really_ enjoy was a replay of what she did last time when her bare breast became slick with his semen.

His deep, throaty groans escalated as his imminent climax heightened. With his eyes closed he was (pleasantly) surprised to feel the warmth of his fluid drop down on his chest and then his abdomen. _And then_… the smooth caresses of her fingertips made him think, of all things, finger painting. His soon to be renewed arousal was brought about by the actions of Katie's mouth currently secured around his shrinking erection and her hands gliding over his chest and abdomen.


	21. Chapter 21 - In With the Old, Part Three

**Chapter 21 - In With the Old, Part Three**

* * *

Katie's body responded to Callen's attentions with soft whimpers, shifting of her hips and words of encouragement (not that they were ever needed) for him to continue. G. Callen might require some prompting to continue certain things in his life, but lavishing the gorgeous, naked woman beside him that he loved more than anything or anyone, with attention, wasn't one of them.

His hands could be rough, strong and even intimidating at times, but that night, in his bed, they were attentive with the perfect amount of pressure given to various places on her body.

_Feet_. Soft, long swipes from her toes to the middle of her shins sent goose bumps to places she thought were immune to them. _Upper legs_. They received more pressure as his palms pressed firmly into the thick flesh filling her mind, as well as her body with waves of pleasure. _Her hips_. Straddled over her, his mouth lingering a few inches above the scent that was aiding his moves, both hands found their way home. A firm squeeze captured some of the flesh on her ass that he couldn't see and was convinced she was intentionally taunting him by pressing it further into the mattress as his eyes intently met hers.

After running the tips of his fingers up and down her arms, stopping midpoint to place gentle kisses on her shoulders, Callen made his way to her chest. His mouth began in the valley between the peaks he loved to explore. Kisses, licks and sucks, whatever he did, she responded favourably. Even after he nipped and tugged at her nipples with his hand and mouth, her rather loud pleas for him to go lower, _much lower_, were ignored. There were still things he needed to do, places he needed to visit. Kneading of her soft flesh in the confinement of his hands brought sighs of pleasure from both of their mouths. But it was his next action that took Katie off into another world. The soft, slightly out of the way, erogenous zones flowing from the peaks of her breasts to just below her armpits, were begging him to stop by and play. A mere five seconds later Katie's entire body was responding just as he had expected.

_"Feels…so…Good!" _Her mouth barely managed to produce the words for teeth biting her lower lip. The coil of tension building in her groin was almost at maximum capacity. _"Now!"_

Callen's hand immediately obeyed the command.

Katie was silently begging for the roughness only his hand could provide for the climax she so desperately needed. Wanting to savour the feeling of being in control, Callen's fingers wandered, so near, yet so far.

_"Please."_

"Good things come to those who wait, my dear."

She was in no mood to wait. Guiding his hand to where it should have been minutes ago, her eyes spoke the words her mouth couldn't.

"Oh my God Katie. You're so wet, so _ready."_

Those precise words, at that precise moment, hit her like a ton of bricks. His touch was always pleasurable but that was the first time he had said _those_ words. And that night her mind, _yet again, _betrayed her body. The coarseness of his actions, middle finger impressively taking her quickly to the edge, then moving a little lower and slipping inside to allow her to take a few, much needed breaths, was beyond anything her wildest fantasies could entail. And yet as he slid his skilful finger in _a little more_ …

_"Stop!"_

Well, that was the _last_ word Callen had expected to hear. Based on experience, it had to be another fucking pothole in the road of life that stopped him dead in his tracks.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" His voice trembled with literal fear.

"No, you didn't hurt me."

The wave of relief that coursed through his body was short lived.

As she started to dress, Katie started mumbling words Callen strained to hear.

"Therapist. Field day. Life. Fucking. Mess."

"Katie, talk to _me_. Please."

"I know you're thinking this is another one of my immature outbursts."

"I've never thought you were immature."

"Yeah well …" Pants pulled over each leg, buttoned and still wondering how to tell him.

"You're scaring me Katie. Please tell me what caused you to …"

Her interruption was abrupt, "Act like a fucking idiot to someone as amazing as you by telling you to _stop_ giving me the most amazing pleasure?" Sweater pulled over her head; she glanced around for her socks. "Feet are cold."

At that precise moment he wondered if his avoidance of forthright communication was rubbing off on her. No. That could not happen. Although he was at a snail pace for improving on that, it was more than enough in their relationship. He positioned his body in front of the doorway.

"I need to leave. Get out of my way." With the small overnight bag, she had brought with her slung over her shoulder and eyes focused on the doorway, she met his _physical_ resistance with surprise.

She wasn't surprised though when his eyes filled with worry. That, coupled with an arm reached out to fill the space in the doorway she could have easily pushed through, filled her vision. Then pleading replaced the concern in the blue eyes of the man she loved.

Her bag caused a thump when it hit the hardwood floor. For a moment she stood motionless before finding her way to the edge of the bed.

"I'm not doing good Callen."

He joined her, but kept a small space between them. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Her eyes started blinking in hopes of quelling the tears that were forming. "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Make that terrified …" His curiosity peaked and a sharp inhale of her breath prepared Katie to say the words but not for Callen to hear them. "Of being pregnant."

There wasn't any response for _that_ confession. Hugging her was the natural thing to do and she embraced his comforting arms. Several minutes passed while Katie allowed the growing fear she had been hiding from him come to the surface through the tears that fell to his shoulder.

She tried to make light of the situation in an attempt to gain some composure. "My therapist is going to be able to retire early after he's done with me."

"That's not funny Katie."

"I know, but it's true."

"I knew what happened to you was traumatic but I thought when we talked before you were, not sure these are the best words, but, getting over it."

He was trying and she loved him for it. "I thought I would be well on my way emotionally once I healed physically. Instead it's getting worse."

"It does take time Katie. Sometimes, _years_ to have the emotional part under control."

She nodded. "I saw the surgeon for my eight-week follow up exam and everything is fine but I haven't seen my family doctor yet."

"Why?"

"He is the one who will …" A long pause had the tears forming again. "Talk to me about birth control options."

His gut was knotting, wishing he could magically take her pain away, even it meant he had to endure it. "If you're not ready, it's okay. _We'll_ take it one day a time."

His words made her even more emotional. "You say that now, but what about in six months or a year from now?"

It was his turn to try and ease things up, "We've been doing pretty good, if I may say so, these past few weeks."

"You'll eventually want more. I know I want more."

_"Kates ..."_

"Don't Callen. We both know it wouldn't be truthful."

Could he live without ever making love to her in the traditional sense again? If it meant still being with her in every other way, then yes, he could.

"Once you see your therapist and doctor, I'm sure you'll start to feel better."

She didn't blame him for his ignorance. Unless he magically became a woman, there wasn't any way he could ever fully understand what she was feeling.

"It goes _way_ beyond talking things over with someone in an office once a week, taking a pill or attaching an IUD to my uterus."

The perplexed look on his face evident, Katie spelled it out for him. "_Getting_ pregnant isn't what scares me. It's what can happen while _being_ pregnant that does." She had to look away from her lover's face. "There was a moment when I thought for sure I was going to die."

Callen had thought that as well when told of the seriousness of her condition. He had to be strong for her, so that thought had went out of his head as quickly as it had come in.

"That was the real reason I didn't want Taryn to call you. I didn't want you to have to say goodbye." That did it. His heart was struggling to stay intact. The reappearing thought of losing her to death was too much. "And _I_ couldn't say goodbye to _you_." Her voice cracked as the words came out.

He wanted more than anything to promise her they would _never_ have to say goodbye. So much it ached from his head to the pit of his stomach. No woman should fear for her life after being a part of life's greatest wonder – two people creating another life. And just when he thought he would make it through this conversation with at least half of his heart in tact, out came another admission.

"I _need _more than what we have been doing and with the way I am currently trying to deal with my feelings, that isn't ever going to happen."

"I'm not going to like what's coming up, am I?"

"I doubt it."

He needed to hear it from her, in her own words. "Say it Katie."

"I thought a few days apart from you would help me get a grip on my emotions. It didn't." She stood and walked to the window. "I need more time away from you. Being with you, even if not in bed, is a (constant) reminder of what I can't give you right now, or possibly ever, if I don't deal with my fears."

Her words seeped into his ears, every word ingrained into his memory. "So what exactly is it you need, Katie?"

"I need you to trust me that I know what's best for me."

"You know we are so much more than sex."

She was getting frustrated, "Let me put it to you this way. I have been having anxiety attacks about having children, even if it's ten years from now, to the point of seriously considering seeking out someone who will take that option out of my life. That's the state of mind I'm currently in."

His incessant need to fix things shone through.

"I could get a vasectomy." The utter surprised look on her face made it clear he should continue. "There are _other_ ways to become parents."

Katie was rendered speechless.

"I would do anything for you Katie. _Anything_." If his offer to end any and all dreams he had of being a (biological) father to her children didn't say his love was forever and unconditional, he wasn't sure what else could.

"I would never ask that of you, at least not under _these _circumstances.

"I know you wouldn't, that's why I'm offering. You don't have deal with this on your own. We're in it _together, _so we will figure out something _together_."

Katie Mitchell and G. Callen are problem solvers by nature and with this potential solution to the biggest problem of her life (so far) staring Katie in the face, she and Callen had some serious, deep-hearted discussions ahead of them.


	22. Chapter 22 - Resolutions, Part One

**Chapter 22 - Resolutions, Part One**

* * *

Although overwhelmed with Callen's selfless offer, Katie felt one of them needed to become the voice of reason.

"I want us to have the option of creating another child together but that isn't going to happen if _either of us_ gets 'fixed'. Don't you want that option available to us?"

He nodded in agreement. "Yes_, but _we both know how many children don't have families to call their own. And I know we could give one or more of those children something many of them can only dream about." His added words hit Katie to the core. "Like I did for so many years."

He was tugging at her heartstrings with reminding her of the love and passion for the children she encountered through work and volunteering. "I love you for offering to do this but we have to be realistic about what it involves. You have to do follow-ups, possibly several, until it's confirmed the procedure was successful, and even then it isn't one hundred percent effective. If you, we, change our minds and want it reversed, there isn't any guarantee _that_ will be successful. So getting my tube tied isn't the answer either. That's what I was, obviously, referring to earlier. It's the equivalent of a vasectomy and the procedure is much more invasive so a longer recovery. There are only two, one hundred percent effective forms of birth control, abstinence and an hysterectomy, which of course is an _absolute _permanent form of birth control and it _isn't_ voluntarily done to a twenty-four-year-old."

The way she said _abstinence_ had him rethinking his silent affirmation he could abstain from intercourse with her for the rest of their lives (if she didn't get over her fears). And on top of that, she was disproving everything against the only thing (or so he thought) he could do to help her deal with aftermath of this traumatic experience.

"I would still be paranoid after every sexual encounter we had. You getting a vasectomy or me getting my remaining tube tied, is not the answer to my…" _OMG!_ "What are the freaking chances of me having another _case_ of PTSD?"

Those four letters sent Callen's mind racing. What if she was stressed out from what happened in Kenya, to the point it caused her to lose their child? The logical part of his brain knew the unfortunate ending of her pregnancy wasn't in his control but the incident in Kenya was. Still no regret with his choice, it had played on his confidence to provide Katie with a (relatively) uneventful life with him.

Katie knew Callen wanted her to talk, get things out, so she continued as he remained beside her, now their bodies touching, on the edge of his bed.

"I guess I'm not the amazing woman you thought I was when you fell in love with me. Look at me, I'm not just a mess, but I'm a fucking mess."

"_Whoa!_ You are every bit the amazing woman right now that you were when I first laid my eyes on you."

"I'm going to need a lot more of those words, never ending therapy sessions and a whole bunch of chocolate to convince me of that."

Getting things back on to the initial topic of conversation would hopefully have it resolved before Callen started in on convincing her, without doubt, that she was indeed still the most amazing woman he had ever known.

"So what exactly did you have in mind when you said you needed me to trust you to know what is best for you?"

"Time, patience and faith. I need to take the lead in my recovery and for you to support that choice."

He took her hands in his and gently squeezed, "I can do that."

Asking for help isn't unheard of, however, going it alone is Katie and Callen's first instinct. As they continued to talk, Callen's thoughts flashed back through his life to the many times he had made the choice to go "lone wolf" in a situation. It wasn't that he didn't trust Katie's instincts, he did. It was that he was trying to leave the part of doing things alone in his life, in the past. But this wasn't about him and he knew he would be repeating that many, many times in the near future. And it would all be worth it for them to get back to _living _their lives and planning for their future.

When Katie mentioned their age difference, Callen became agitated and as usual, she picked up on it immediately. He admitted that his mind was moving a little faster than he wanted it to in regards to their relationship. Spending nights together more often actually had him contemplating asking her to live with him. Her reaction surprised him because she knew when he gave her a key to his home it wasn't about balancing things out after she gave him a key to her home. Katie didn't meet his coming clean about them having to live in his home when the time came, with any resistance, however, she did make it clear that it wouldn't be happening anytime soon. He was more than okay with her response.

Trust and respect were of utmost importance to them both, and although they both still had to work on not "beating around the bush" when they had something to say, they eventually got there and that was what mattered – no secrets. Well except for the ones Callen had no choice but to keep and thankfully, Katie was (still) understanding of that. Hell, she didn't even know what Federal Agency he worked for, nor did she ever ask. She trusted him in every way. That was a big thing for Callen. His life had been filled with challenges when it came to trusting people with his not only his life on the job but also his personal life and past. Sam Hanna of course being the exception. But not only did he have the challenges of him trusting people, he had also encountered many people who had challenges trusting him! Although as loyal as they come, many of his aliases were in the same group of people being as trustworthy as convicts.

Katie was reassured that there wasn't any right or wrong way to grieve or deal with PTSD and he unequivocally trusted that she knew what was best for her. Thoughts of "love conquering all" came too light and they both agreed their love _would_ conquer all.

With therapy for PTSD, joining a support group for "failed pregnancies", having faith again in birth control and the love, patience, support and encouragement from Callen, Katie had no doubt she would prevail in conquering her fear.

Just before the door closed behind her, Katie put her hand out. Sexual acts (of any kind) weren't an option in the foreseeable future but kisses were still on the table. She was emotionally distraught, not fucking insane! As he had done many, _many _times before, reassurance that he was committed to her for life, transferred from his lips to hers. And when Katie returned that reassurance, Callen felt the inner peace he had been searching for since Katie had told him to _"Stop"._


	23. Chapter 23 - Resolutions, Part Two

**Chapter 23 - Resolutions, Part Two**

* * *

_Nine Weeks Later_

Katie had been in awe of her surroundings since she and Callen had arrived at the _Langman_ resort in Pasadena. Callen and Sam having to supervise the transport of an "unusual" suspect to LAPD, in rush hour traffic, had delayed his and Katie's intended six o'clock departure. Given it was only a thirty-minute drive from Katie's home, they still made it by nine o'clock. A late night dinner followed by a stroll through the magnificently kept gardens was a welcomed end to a crazy-assed Friday for them both.

"This is exactly what I needed," Katie stated as she cozied into his body, gazing up at the full moon from the balcony of their room.

"Nothing like a cuddle on a chaise lounge for two, star gazing and being with your favourite loved one," Callen replied before leaning down to place a brief kiss on her lips.

* * *

After a good night's sleep, in a king-sized bed on the _best_ mattress they had ever slept on, they woke to a spectacular blue sky, not a cloud in sight. Breakfast in the main dining room was buffet style, and available until eleven, so they took their time enjoying a morning snuggle while the in-room coffee maker brewed two greatly anticipated cups.

Breakfast was leisurely enjoyed on the patio overlooking the San Gabriel Mountains before a bike tour around the twenty-three-acre resort took them up hills, down in valleys and back to the pool area where they enjoyed a swim and soak in the hot tub.

Katie's favourite part, by far, was the in-room massage.

After changing out of her swimsuit and Callen stating he had a message that the Manager wanted to see him about something, Katie was pleasantly surprised to hear a knock at the door. The Manager, with two support staff, rolled in a massage table with two wicker baskets filled with oils and towels. Before Katie could clear the surprised look from her face, a room service cart was placed near the sliding doors leading to the balcony. Despite having finished lunch an hour ago, the fresh fruits and bite-sized pastries, beside two glass jugs of cold beverages, renewed her appetite.

It took her a moment to realize there was only one massage table.

_Okay, Callen doesn't want a massage_

And _then_ …

"If you need anything else Mr. Callen, just let me know. The Manager and staff disappeared as quickly as they had appeared.

Their departure left one man, dressed in a white short-sleeved shirt and white pants, standing with his hands in his front pockets, before Katie.

Her smile was reassuring to Callen that she was on board with what he had planned. Trying to remain professional-like, he introduced himself and offered to step in the hall until she was undressed and lying on the table. She would play along, as he was clearly intent on making this weekend as pleasurable as possible and he had been _very_ successful so far.

"Is this your first massage Miss Mitchell?"

She would have cocked her head and furrowed her brow at him for calling her Miss Mitchell, but her head was constricted by the 'hole' her face was in.

There was no doubt G. Callen was skilful with his hands in many ways, but the way his thumbs pressed into the flesh just below her shoulder blades, wasn't like anything she had ever experienced. He hit a main pressure point and immediately she felt the tension, she had been storing for several months, start to leave her body.

On his journey down her back towards her upper legs, his hands met another pressure point where her spine and buttocks met. With just the tips of his forefingers he pressed into the delicate spot and another wave of tension flowed from her feet and up her legs. His cool hands then skimmed over the neatly folded towel covering her ass and hips. After a slow manoeuvre down her legs and the most thorough foot massage she had ever had that left her body feeling like a bowl of jelly might, she felt a tinge of sadness at the absence of his hands on her flesh.

Katie then caught a glimpse of the white pants to her right that previously she had only been given a few seconds to admire on him before he disappeared into the hallway. Her eyes closed as soon as she felt two of his fingers press into her temples. Heaven-like images, with her angel in white beside her, passed through her mind. She was drifting off when his voice brought her back to a _very_ awake state. She rolled over to her stomach as he requested, both of them _very_ aware the towel had dropped to the floor.

"_Katie_." It was spoken just above a whisper and ended the pretend formalness.

Her frontal nudity was something that always hitched his breath. Her curves were lovely, eyes always a bit darker and he relished the fact that she was _all his_. She bit her lower lip every so slightly as she felt the cool air flow over her breasts and her nipples responded in conjunction with her thoughts of what they would do under the covers of the bed.

"_Bed_," she replied.

Callen quickly removed his white attire, Katie's eyes admiring him from her position under the sheets. His body was still darkly tanned from their time in Kenya (and from living in Los Angeles) and it contrasted _very well _with the white clothing. Just as he climbed under the sheets to join her, she jumped up and started rummaging through her bag. The sight of her naked body, her ass jutting out as she bent over, his thoughts of going up behind her, placing his hands on her curvaceous hips, wasn't what popped his eyes wide open. It was the inanimate object firmly gripped in a fist that not only had his baby blues excited but another part of his anatomy as well.

G. Callen was a quick thinker and immediately took the object handed to him and placed it on the nightstand. They both enjoyed sexual acts immensely but there was something (good) to be said about a healthy dose of foreplay. Hands roamed with fingernails leaving slight indentations on Callen's back, and _lots_ of kissing took place. The addiction they had for each other fed the frenzy. Between her hunger for him and taking required breaths, Katie managed to "curse him" for his choice of attire that afternoon.

"Isn't that what masseurs usually wear?" he asked, the blatant cockiness hanging off his every word.

It had been nine weeks since their last 'sexual encounter' and _seven months _since they had intercourse. Minus a dozen or so kisses, abstaining from going any further had been done at Katie's request. Callen had said he would do anything for her and he had lived up to that affirmation over the past two months.

Callen continued to leave Katie in control despite the provocative things he wanted to do with her. Replying to his comment would only have had verbal banter ensue and her body was bubbling with arousal so she began to suck his left nipple before trailing kisses across his chest to the right one.

He knew exactly what she was doing –edging him on to give her what she has longed for since that sultry night in Kenya, many months ago. With one hand he reached over to the nightstand and retrieved the object they were _both_ now eager to put to use. The vibrator wasn't anywhere near what she or they _really _wanted or needed but the thought of _him _sliding it in and out of her watching, hearing her beg for more, was as good as it was going to get that night. Callen was envious of the substitute object but that faded as it was slid between the legs she had spread apart when he nudged them. And the absence of intercourse would _barely_ be missed once they were finished.

* * *

"You're spoiling me G," Katie stated as she leaned her head on his chest, regaining her senses after he found her "G-spot".

"Only the best for you."

"Oh my, aren't you confident."

He positioned his body so their eyes were level, "You bring out the best of _everything _in me."

"You, and a little help from _Cosmo_ online, bring out the best in me."

Callen was in a matter of fact mode, "There's only so much an article or video can teach a person."

"I give credit where credit is due."

"Nah, you're underestimating yourself. I think you're a natural."

"A natural blow job giver?"

"A natural lover."

Even with his flaws, he was perfect in every way. Callen had intentionally avoided talk about Katie's "recovery" while they were away for the weekend celebrating her twenty-fifth birthday and she silently thanked him for that. Well, she may have been a _little bit_ "noisy" when she pleased him ever so slowly before he had taken her to another new height of ecstasy. But there had been a positive development since they last talked and she felt now was as good a time as any to tell him.

"I saw my family doctor and we agreed on the IUD for birth control. I will have it put in on Thursday."

Callen's arms pulled her tighter to remind her he was with her every step of the way and let out a small breath of relief that she had made this milestone stage of her recovery. Not just for the reason they could soon make love, but that she was facing her fears (of what _might _happen).

"You're comfortable with that choice?" The IUD failed once so he was a little surprised she chose it again.

"I am. It was a tough choice but I did it. One step at a time and he wants me to wait two months before having intercourse. It's usually one month but with my emotional issues, he felt it would be for the best. I agreed with him."

"Did you go to the support meeting this week?"

"Yeah. I'm still having some anxiety at times but overall I'm slowly learning to accept that worrying about what _might happen_ isn't going to prevent it from happening." She rolled on top of him and closed the gap between their faces, "There is an anxiousness I'm having that is a good one though.

"What's that?"

"For us to make love like we did in Kenya."

He cupped her face and a sweet kiss happened before he spoke, "I like that kind of anxiety."

* * *

Dinner that evening was followed by dancing which Katie and Callen enjoyed together and with other partners. As the night wore on the good times continued. Mingling with other couples on and off the dance floor was a welcomed change of pace. Although the time they spent together was often just the two of them, it was nice to have other couples to interact with. Shortly after one o'clock in the morning, they went back to their room, removed their clothes, climbed into bed and fell asleep.

A weird dream had Callen abruptly awake at 4:55am. He tried to go back to sleep but couldn't so he quietly got out of the bed, put a sweater and jeans on and sat out on the balcony. The serenity of the resort was intoxicating with the stars glowing in the sky despite being so close to LA. He heard the sliding door open a short time later and couldn't help but smile at the tousled hair Katie was sporting. She felt the cool night air immediately and stepped back inside to put on a sweater before returning to join Callen on the balcony.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

"No. I had to go to the bathroom and noticed you weren't in bed."

"Had a weird dream that woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep."

"I hate when that happens." Katie pulled the other chair closer to Callen's and they stared at the night sky for several minutes before Callen spoke.

"How did you not know you were pregnant?"

Katie had still been a bit sleepy but his out-of-the-blue question fixed that.

He turned to face her. "Isn't ten weeks a bit late to know you are pregnant?"

"Some women can actually go into labour without knowing they are pregnant."

"You've been watching those reality shows," he quipped.

"For me, I haven't had a period in a few years so missing one, which is usually a sign of pregnancy, wasn't there for me to notice its absence. I had no other usual symptoms and I was dealing with my PTSD…."

"Callen cut her off, "Was the stress of that the reason, you know?'

"That I had an ectopic pregnancy and almost died?" She regretted the tone she had used the second the last word rolled off her tongue when she saw the distraught look on his face. "Except for very specific situations, there aren't any definitive reasons for women having miscarriages or ectopic pregnancies. Was the stress I was experiencing from what happened in Kenya the reason for it? No. It's just one of life's unfortunate things that happens to some women." Callen's silence spoke volumes, which showed how in sync they were with each other. "It could have still happened even if I hadn't seen you … kill that man and developed PTSD."

"It's hard not to wonder, you know?"

"I know it was an unfortunate thing to happen. No one is to blame. And Callen?"

He met her eyes in the dark, "Yeah?"

"I _never_ blamed _you_."

His heart skipped a beat. It was something he, no matter no illogical it was, needed to hear and was relieved it had been said. He nodded his head and reached over and placed his hand in hers.

They remained silent for a few moments before Katie spoke; "At first I was blaming myself for what happened as I wasn't dealing with the incident in Kenya the way I have dealt with other unfortunate events in my life. That's why I needed the past nine weeks to get things back on track."

His smile made her smile.

"I was honest with you about needing the time to focus on dealing with my PTSD because I knew you would support me."

"When I said I would do anything for you, I meant it. I didn't like not seeing you much during that time but to have you back, like this, was worth every second I longed to be with you."

"You know, the talks we had on the phone at night and the evening walks on the beach were the foundation of my strength."

The squeeze of her hand was his silent reply.

Katie felt his palm get moist. "Hey what is it?"

He let go of her hand and moved his chair so they were face to face. "I get these gut feelings ever so often. One of them was that you wouldn't be able to handle a life with me."

Katie was intrigued and scooted her bottom towards the edge of her chair.

_"Oh really?"_

"First time it has failed me. You struggled, as anyone with PTSD does, but you hung in there,_ never_ complained and just did what needed to be done to deal with it. It wasn't that I didn't have faith in you, I did, and I do. It was that I felt that after the second unfortunate event, you might be wondering when the third one would happen and that you weren't willing to accept that in your life and..." He couldn't finish his sentence.

She placed her hands on his legs and leaned forward slightly, "That thought, of something else happening crossed my mind many, _many_ times and of doing something about it _before _it happened. But then the reality of that choice would hit me… _hard_. It would mean a life without you. And _that_ wasn't an option."

"I love these talks we have Katie."

"Me too Callen. Me too. Since we're being open and honest, I thought the same thing about you. That you would feel I wasn't the right woman for you as I was struggling with things happening in our relationship. You know what erased that permanently from my thoughts?"

His eyes widened.

"The way you looked at me the day before New Year's Eve. When you said you would do anything for me, the first few seconds I was like 'They all say that', but then as I looked into your eyes they _showed me_ it was real. No matter what happens, you will be on _and_ by my side."

Well, didn't he feel like an ass for feeling sorry for himself on New Year's Day.

* * *

Sunday morning breakfast was enjoyed with a couple, Kevin and Vita, they met the night before and when Vita suggested a bike ride into the small town adjacent to the resort, Callen and Katie agreed. After lunch, the two couples enjoyed the warm March afternoon poolside before checking out and heading home.

The drive home was met with an unspoken sadness as Callen and Katie wanted to stay just a little bit longer. They exchanged numbers with their newfound friends and tentatively made plans to meet up in a few weeks as they all lived within half an hour of each other.

"That was a perfect weekend," Katie said as she leaned back in her seat while Callen made the short drive back to Los Angeles. "So near, yet so far from all of this." She pointed out the window to metropolis of the City of Angels. "I love LA but, oh my god, this traffic."

"We're almost home," he replied knowing that the distance was not going to be covered in a short amount of time. Traffic then miraculously eased up and the blue Jaguar pulled into Katie's driveway and Callen carried her bags to the door.

"I don't want this weekend to end," she announced as the door swung open.

"Me neither," he replied as he stepped inside.

* * *

_March 11, Monday Morning_

Callen woke just before dawn and moved quietly to get ready for work as Katie slept. Just as the kettle finished boiling for his tea, Katie entered the kitchen. Good mornings were exchanged along with a Happy Birthday for Katie. She was surprised when Callen handed her a small gift, wrapped in sparkly purple paper. Their weekend away had been his present to her so she was surprised to see another gift but graciously accepted it and after taking off the paper and opening the small box, her mouth gaped open. There in the pristine box of black velvet with a sating lining, was a family ring, a plain white gold band with three gemstones. Hers was in the center and she immediately recognized the other two.

"Callen, this is something I've wanted to do …" Her eyes were focused on the birthstones of her mother and best friend.

"There's room for more," he chimed in."

"How come you didn't put yours on?" she asked as she slid the ring over her finger and although many people usually need re-sizing, she wasn't one of them.

"After we're married."

Katie liked the sound of that. "Thank you." Tears of mixed emotions welled in her eyes. Ones of sadness that her mother and best friend weren't there to share the day with her, or meet the man who would one day become her husband. The other tears were of happiness that she had G. Callen in her life. A friend had once told her that if a person had to explain why they loved someone, then it wasn't love. Katie could give reasons she loved Callen but to try and explain it? Nope. She couldn't do it. She had been contemplating broaching a certain subject with him since her last therapy session. Once she looked up form her ring and into his eyes, she knew that was the moment the contemplating was over.

He took her in his arms, and wrapped in her in the warmth and safeness of them. She took the embrace and allowed the now tears of happiness, fall down her cheeks.

They ate their breakfast while chatting briefly about what they could do with Kevin and Vita when they went out but decided to focus on getting through this dreaded Monday before thinking about anything else. Well except one other thing.

"I'm thinking about something and I pretty sure you're thinking about it as well."

His eyebrows went up, eyes widened and mug was lowered.

_She can't possibly know I want to put her on the table, spread those beautiful legs and give her pussy a licking neither of us would ever forget._

"That it's time to think about me selling my house and us living together."

* * *

**_A/N:_** Yes, I know, Katie said that wouldn't be happening anytime in the near future, but hey, this is _Special Agent G. Callen_ she's talking about!


	24. Chapter 24 - Love Hurts

**Chapter 24 - Love Hurts**

* * *

"Live together?" Callen asked as he set his mug down on the table.

"Yeah, it's the logical next step in our relationship."

"Katie, I want that very much."

She didn't miss the slight hesitation in his voice. "You don't think I'm ready."

His hand wrapped around hers, "I didn't say that. What made you change your mind?"

"Nothing in particular. I know it's what I want and you were already there. And it's not like it's going to happen next week as there are a lot of things to do before it _actually_ happens."

He couldn't argue with that logic. "I can't imagine anything better than waking up and going to sleep with you beside me … in _our_ home."

"Once there is more furniture, your thoughts will change." A quick wink of her eye and she was gone down the hall.

There it was. He and Katie were going to be living together. Thinking about it was not the same as it actually happening and it scared him a bit. He had lived "alone" for as long as he could remember. Then images of Katie making one of her scrumptious meals in their kitchen ran through his mind. They would talk about the day's events, clean up together, maybe take a walk or settle on the couch to watch a favourite TV show or movie. _Or_. Erotic images of Katie offering another activity for them to participate in pushed through his brain. Sunk down on the cushions of said couch (or a chair), she would straddle his lap making him groan with anticipation.

"Hey, Callen?" Katie called out as she left the bathroom to get dressed in her bedroom. The physical intimacy they shared was incredible and although there would be a lot more of that with them living in same house, it was sharing his life, _all of it_, with Katie, that over rode any hesitancy he had.

Her voice startled him out of his consuming thoughts. "Yeah?"

"With everything that has been going on I had pushed this aside. Did you have a chance to talk to your boss about going on long term undercover assignments?"

Callen's body froze despite the heat he felt radiating throughout it. He remained silent. Katie came into the kitchen ready for work and waiting for Callen to answer her.

_He didn't._

And yet again his silence spoke volumes. "You didn't talk to her."

"I just assumed that …"

"That what? That I would forget about it?"

_Yeah, something like that._

He glanced at the text that had just been sent to his phone from Eric. This conversation with Katie would have to wait until later.

"I'll be back after work." With that he was out the door and in his car before Katie could say another word.

* * *

Katie's day was uneventful. That was more than Callen could say. Sporting a fresh bruise to his right cheek, he kept his word and returned to Katie's home, albeit eight o'clock at night, he was there.

Katie tried to ignore the blackening wound but instead found her hands rummaging through the freezer for something he could put on his face.

"Thanks," he said as she handed him a bag of frozen veggies before joining him on the couch.

"I won't ask how your day was," she stated as she watched him wince slightly as the cold bag touched his face.

"I never talked to Hetty." It had been a very long and gruelling day and he just wanted it to be over.

"Why not? You know how I feel about the long term assignments and what I went through the last time you were on one."

"I had planned to but I just never found the right time. I thought you would get used to them. I mean, you didn't say anything after the last time I was away."

"Yeah, I was a little preoccupied," she replied with heavy sarcasm. "I'm not you Callen. I'm not an Agent. I'm not _supposed_ to _get used to it_."

He put the bag down on the table, "What's the big deal? They don't happen that often."

_Big deal?_ "If it were just me I had to consider, then I would learn to deal with it."

"Who else is there?" He asked sarcastically as he glanced around the room.

Her frustration was building as he avoided the root of the conversation. "Why can't we just be normal people, living normal lives?" she asked, not really looking for a reply.

"What fun would there be in that?"

His snide comments were starting to irritate her. "Oh yeah, and this," Katie pointed to his face, "is a fucking circus of laughs."

Callen put his ice pack on the table, "Kensi was overdue for her check-in while on an assignment. We had to find her. That's why I left abruptly this morning." As soon as the words left his mouth he realized they were not helping.

Empathy came first, "Is she okay?"

"Yeah."

"You ever _not_ find someone?" Katie asked.

He nodded.

Katie stood, hoping to gain some leverage and put this conversation to rest. "I can't do this Callen. I _won't_ do this. Be left to wonder if you are dead or alive until an _email_ comes to my inbox confirming it." She took a deep breath hoping her next words would convey how serious she was. "I won't have our children growing up without a father."

"Whoa!" He stood to meet her fiery eyes. "You are getting way ahead of things Katie."

"So if I talked to Deeks about what he was thinking and feeling while you were out looking for Kensi?"

"I shouldn't have told you I would talk to Hetty. I had no intention of doing so." His blatant honesty shocked them both.

"That was extremely selfish of you Callen."

"It's part of my job Katie. I don't get to pick and choose what bad guys lives I infiltrate. And it's not like I can discuss it with you first."

Katie's next words were even more shocking. "You will have to choose Callen, me or the long-term assignments. I think I'm being more than fair in accepting the day to day dangers you experience and asking you to _reduce_ the dangerous situations you are put in."

He wasn't done defending his position. "You do know that living in Los Angeles is a risk in itself." Katie shook her head at the lame attempt to prove his point.

"You can keep going Callen but it won't get you anywhere. My stance on this subject isn't negotiable."

He crept closer to her, his voice low and steady, "You _don't_ want to challenge me Katie."

"Is that a _threat_?"

"No. It's a fact. I was honest about what I do when you first asked me."

"Yes you were. And I told you I would deal with you being a Federal Agent and what comes with that. But, I won't accept you going off for weeks or months at a time without so much as a goodbye. And leave me to wonder, make that worry,_ every_ minute of _every_ day."

"So what would you have done if I had talked to my boss and she said I still had to go on the assignments?"

"We'll never know, will we? You told me you are a man of your word." In that moment she wondered what other lies he had told her.

He felt her pain but his body remained steady with his voice while his inner being crumbled after hearing her ultimatum. "I won't beg you to change your mind."

"And I won't change my mind because you begged.

"So that's it? The past eleven months meant nothing to you?" Callen was reluctant to end the tango they were having. Every second he hung on gave him a glimmer of hope despite knowing he was responsible for putting Katie in this position and that she wasn't wavering.

"That's it." Katie was surprising herself with her steadfastness and not caving in on her stance.

"You didn't answer my question, _Kathryn_."

"They meant _everything_ to me _G._"

The past ten minutes had been surreal. That changed as Katie turned to get her keys off the kitchen table and removed his house key from among the several she had on her key-chain. He wanted to tell her to keep it but when she asked for _her_ spare key, he did as she requested.

Callen wasn't going to allow his emotions to get the best of him. That would come later.

"No one will ever love you the way I do."

His thumb stroked her cheek just like when they first met. Kate felt the tenderness in his touch all the way down to her toes. He allowed it to remain for a brief moment on her soft skin before he turned and walked towards the door.

Her voice was low, but audible, causing his body to stop for a brief moment.

"I know."

* * *

The rest of the week Callen kept to himself except when it came to work, until Sam asked him what he and Katie had planned for the weekend.

"Not happening."

Sam's head quickly turned to see his partner, who was avoiding the questioning brown eyes, staring out the open car window.

"We're on a stakeout G so you better start talking before I start singing."

"Whatever," Callen replied.

Sam wasn't surprised that Callen had been quiet about his relationship with Katie as he rarely talked about her while at work. But what did surprise him was that Callen wasn't making a fuss about Sam singing!

"Later G. We'll talk later. There's our suspect."

Without hesitation, the two Agents were out of the Challenger making their way towards the suspect, who of course spotted them and took off running. Until that moment, Callen had never wanted to apprehend a suspect, tackle him, and make him wish it were Sam's arms and hands cuffing him. He was beyond pissed (at himself, his life, his job) and the suspect was, unfortunately, on the receiving end of Callen venting that frustration.

_"G!"_ Sam yelled as the suspect took several punches to the face after escaping Callen's initial hold. Even the feeling of Sam's incredible grip on his upper arms didn't stop Callen from continuing his assault.

Sam finally used his _full_ strength to remove Callen from their suspect and it wasn't until he came face to face with his partner did he see the anguish. Trying to keep his friend from potentially facing charges of brutality, Sam informed Hetty of what happened. That angered Callen even further but Sam stood his ground. Hetty made a few calls and the pending charges were never laid. The condition for her intervening was Sam talking to his partner.

* * *

"Night G," Sam called out as he passed the team's desks where Callen was typing on his computer.

"Night Sam."

The former Navy SEAL made it to the large double doors before he backtracked to his best friend's desk.

"It'll help to talk about it," Sam said as he put his bag on the floor and sat in his chair.

Callen was worn. Nights had been long and days even longer. The obsessive need to check his phone frequently just in case _she_ had left a message and he hadn't heard the beep alerting him to it was tiring. He closed his laptop and glanced up at this partner. It was at that moment envy filled him.

"I thought being in relationship with someone who _wasn't_ in law enforcement was the best choice. I should have followed your lead. You have it all man."

Sam shook his head, "I am _very_ fortunate but I don't have it all. Michelle wants to go back to work now that Rachel is older. The thought of it makes my stomach turn. She's too good to be out there doing what we do."

"I hope that isn't the best you have to offer big guy."

"Tell me what you did and I'll do better."

"What makes you think _I_ did something?"

Sam cocked his head to the side and slid his chair around the desk so that he was closer to his partner. "I'm right though, aren't I?"

With Sam literally in his face, Callen knew better than try to ignore him. "Katie expressed concern about the long term undercover assignments and to appease her I told her I would talk to my boss about them being reassigned. Nine months ago."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm not."

"That was incredibly optimistic, even for you G." Callen heard the sarcasm in his voice but chose to ignore of it instead of rebutting.

The men talked for almost and hour, Callen rehashing the worst moment of his life (and there had been plenty of those) when Katie asked for her spare key back. Sam knew that wasn't a good sign but tried to remain positive for his hurting friend.

"I can't tell you what to do but I do know that sometimes the best things in life don't come easy."

Callen eyed his friend squarely, "Loving her is the easiest and by far, the best thing I've ever done."

"Sometimes love isn't enough," Sam offered.

"Tell me about."

"I changed my mind G. _I am_ going to tell you what to do. Katie trusted you. You let her down even if her request was unrealistic. You should have told her the truth back then that there would be short and long periods of time you would be away from her with no contact and _not_ doing them wasn't an option."

"I didn't want to lose her."

He reached out and placed his large hand on Callen's knee, "But you did. If you only do one thing from here on in, apologize for lying to her even though your intentions were noble." Crazy, but noble." Sam couldn't help but chuckle, "I can't believe you actually said that to her man. You said you would _talk to Hetty_?"

Hearing the alert of a text from Michelle, Sam replied and then walked with his best friend outside to their cars.

"I guess that wasn't my best lie, eh?"

Sam wouldn't let him live that one down, "_Talk to Hetty_?" he repeated. "_Michelle_ wouldn't _talk to Hetty_."

"Point taken big guy."


	25. Chapter 25 - A Moment in Time

**Chapter 25 - A Moment in Time **

* * *

After a beer with Sam and Michelle while Rachel was at dance class Thursday night, Callen was feeling more positive about seeing Katie to apologize. It was late when he got home and he didn't want to send her a text so he decided to wait until Friday morning to call her before she went to work. The full reality of what had happened hadn't really sunk in yet for him but maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't have to when she heard what he had to say. Callen didn't see his optimistic outlook as a plan to beg, but more as an opportunity to 'plead his case'.

* * *

_Friday Morning, OPS_

"Mr. Callen &amp; Mr. Hanna, my office now," Hetty called out as she walked past the bullpen.

_"For fuck sake!"_ Callen said loud enough for most of the office to hear him as he walked back to his desk to get his bag to head home and prep for an undercover assignment with Sam. It suddenly hit him when he saw his bed while he was getting clothes from his bedroom, that if he were gone weeks or months, Katie might move on before he had a chance to apologize and hopefully get back together. How ironic was it that the one thing that had her giving him an ultimatum might also be the reason Callen wouldn't have a chance to make amends?

A text from Sam had Callen packing the last few things he needed and heading back to OSP where they obtained a vehicle from the Motor Pool and headed off on a road trip to their assignment. After a short distance had been covered, the partners reviewed their identities and objectives.

Pulling up outside their new temporary home an hour later, Sam broached the subject that had been intentionally ignored by both men during the drive, "For what it's worth G, she'd be crazy to not try and make things work."

"Thanks. I needed to hear that." He glanced out the window as three young women walked by and nodded, "At least they're not dressed in rolled up jeans with suspenders."

"You'd never catch a _brother_ in those."

Callen laughed at Sam's reference to his previous undercover assignment. His face softened as he took a deep breath before getting out of the car, relieved Sam was with him. Not just as his partner, but as his friend.

* * *

Anatoli Kirkin, a criminal with his hands in a little bit of everything, had sold out his loyal followers to keep from being sent to prison with them. But after a call from Assistant Director Granger to an old friend at the CIA, it came too light that one group wasn't on the list of followers Hetty had been given. Kirkin had placed them in the US to assist in his local operations and Callen's gut instinct told him this group, or at least one person in the group, knew of Arkady Kolcheck's whereabouts. Sam and Callen's assignment was to infiltrate that gang, find where Arkady was being held and get him out. Kirkin had left this wayward group off the list for a reason and they were going to find out why.

Callen had been unable to find information on the location of his long time friend, despite many tries, including attempting to handle it on his own. That solo act not only resulted in Arkady still missing but also put a strain on his relationship with Hetty. She had never turned him down for a drink, but that night after LAPD and NCIS apprehended Kirkin, he offered talking things out over a drink, but Hetty told him to drink alone. Basically, she put him in a time out to think about the unauthorized methods he used to try and find Arkady, who was, without doubt in Callen's mind, still alive and being held by not so nice Russian's somewhere on the planet.

Callen had chosen not to call Katie and join him for the drink he should have been having with Hetty and instead, sat alone in his living room, with his thoughts. What Hetty failed (or refused) to acknowledge was that she was the one who taught Callen the methods he used to get things done. He never forgot that Hetty Lange was solely responsible for getting him back on track when he was a young teen who had gone astray and he had proven time and again that he would protect her at any cost. All of the good he was, he owed to Hetty but there were also things about himself he wished at times she hadn't instilled in him. The killing of other people bothered him but not to the extent the sneakiness did. Learning how to get around things at a young age served him well many times but as an adult, doing stealthy things has more serious consequences. What was once typical behaviour for G. Callen, as a child became a perfected skill, courtesy of Henrietta Lange.

The Special Agent and the Operations Manager had many ups and downs over the years but the threat, make that the promise, _to terminate him with full prejudice_ if he ever again "pulled a stunt" like the one he did to find Arkady on his own, often ran through his mind. Was she serious or was it just a scare tactic? Only time would tell.

The seasoned Federal Agent had only one woman on his mind though as he and Sam slid into undercover mode as they greeted their hosts. Although "fabricating the truth" came naturally to him, (and Hetty had most definitely honed in on that skill when she first met him) his commitment to Katie Mitchell was anything but a lie and he needed to get out of this assignment safely and quickly. Between Hetty's lingering words about termination and determined to change Katie's mind about ending their relationship, Callen had a brief moment of skepticism about his and Sam's ability to find Arkady. It was short lived before he slipped back into yet another alias.

* * *

Callen was focused by day on his job at hand, while some nights were focused on hand jobs. A distraction was needed from the gruelling monotony of the operation until a lead broke. His mind automatically went to Katie Mitchell. She ended their relationship, but she would never be out of his thoughts. A soft smile formed on his lips as her face filled his vision. He could pull a million images from his memory, any one of them more than enough to assist him in completing the task at hand. But this one came from his imagination.

What if, as they had been packing up to check out of the resort a few weeks ago, Katie offered some information to Callen that only he could help her with? She was _very_ sexually aroused and needed some help tending to it. He would have thought she was teasing him at first, but that seductive look reserved just for him would shine through her eyes and onto him, and of course, he had to help her out.

Removing his underwear, he lay in the bed, alone. The room was cozy and servants were available to tend to his every need with the press of a button but money couldn't buy what Callen needed. It had been months since he and Katie had intercourse and then his stomach tightened at the realization it might never happen again. That didn't stop him from pulling down the sheets and putting one hand behind his head while the other nestled between his legs. The strokes of his hand were slow and steady at first. He needed this release before sunrise, so he closed his eyes and ditched reality.

* * *

With Katie face down on the bed, his hands grabbed her inviting hips and forcibly pulled them upward just enough for his aching cock to get inside her. For a brief moment he wondered is she would allow him to go _a little higher_ to penetrate her but he quickly shook that thought from his head. He would save _that_ fantasy for another night.

Cascading hair down her back provided a sexy background to watching his dick plunge in and out of her. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead as his thrusts quickened and the incoherent words and noises from her mouth escalated. The angle of penetration proved too intense and his goal was achieved a little sooner than anticipated. After filling her, he took a few quick breaths then ordered her to all fours. Katie obliged after a quick glance at his smoldering eyes.

Breasts bouncing, sweat now forming on her brow as the thickness of her hair falling over her face, combined with Callen's vigour, pushed her well into the ecstasy zone. Longing to feel her body flush against his, he pulled her up until her back was positioned against his chest, strong arms and hands encasing her before one reached down and ever so gently caressed her nether region. He encouraged her to rock her hips until she found the pleasure she sought. It wouldn't be until she turned her head slightly and their eyes met that she would find it. Cries of pleasure surrounded by a lone "I love you" passed through his ears with his current life's mission to pleasure her, his only thought. Her body soon went limp and fell to the mattress, his body following. Soft kisses, combined with proclamations of their love and dreams of their future, ensued before getting dressed and heading home.

* * *

Dreamland did what it was supposed to and after cleaning up, Callen got back into bed, closed his eyes and tried to let sleep come to him. Unfortunately, he was left with the reality that Katie had ended their relationship. And unless this assignment wrapped up fast, he just might spend the rest of his life relying on memories and his imagination to satisfy him. Not being able to work things out with Katie would most certainly leave him lonely and regretful for the rest of his life.

Moments before he felt his body succumbing to sleep, his mind drifted back to when he told Katie his life was like a jigsaw puzzle. In that puzzle, pieces had been attached to Katie over the past year but it was at that moment he noticed a gaping space next to her. Was it pieces that would form the face of a person or just some random filler pieces? Callen's bet would be on the former. _But who was it?_ The only person without a face in his life puzzle was his father but he felt, in the pit of his stomach, that it was someone with a connection to him _and_ Katie.

He sharpened his focus on the imaginary gaping hole. What did that space mean? Then as if his mind wasn't running at full tilt at all, he realized it wasn't a face that was missing. The missing pieces were about the fact he and Katie, together, hadn't grieved the loss of the child they had conceived. Callen thought about their baby often and what could have been but never talked about how he felt about it except that one brief time with Katie. He had been so focused on Katie's physical and emotional recovery that he had put his grieving aside. Regardless of what happened between them, Callen would always have that connection with Katie and he would find a way to let her know he would always be there for her if she needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on when the painful memories filled her.

* * *

_Eight Weeks Later, Friday Night_

Arkady was found in San Diego and had been there the entire time. Callen wasn't able to see him face to face as a Navy SEAL team had been called in to retract him. Sam had asked Granger to put in a request with SECNAV to have a specific team execute the rescue so as to keep Callen's mind at ease until his old friend was safely back home and Kirkin, permanently, behind bars where he belonged.

Although two months had passed, Callen still remained hopeful for a reunion with Katie. As he and Sam gathered their belongings from OSP, Callen was surprised to see a call from Katie on his personal phone he had left at work.

Sam noticed the look on Callen's face after he had grabbed his bag from his locker and stopped by the bullpen on his way out.

"What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"The friendly kind." He held up his phone although Sam couldn't read the numbers or letters. "_She_ called eight days ago."

"That's good, right?" Sam knew exactly who _she_ was.

The tired, blue-eyed Agent nodded his head, "Yeah, it's good. Just wish my heart wasn't beating so fast."

"It's called love G." And with a quick wink of his eye and reassuring smile, Sam bid him a good night and headed home to be with his wife and daughter.

Oh yeah, it most definitely was love. Falling out of love with that incredible woman wouldn't happen easily – if ever. He didn't care why she had called; he was just elated she had. Glancing at the time on the screen, he was relieved it was only eight fifteen. His finger instinctively knew what button to press and without hesitation he pressed it.

The call was quick and pleasant. Katie was out with friends from work for dinner but would be home by nine and she asked if he could come over then. Callen really didn't want to sound desperate, but he just couldn't tone down his excitement and agreed without reluctance. He had forty-five minutes before he would see her and estimating thirty minutes for driving time at that hour, he opted for a quick shower in the gym and a change of clothes from wardrobe.

The butterflies in his stomach somewhat settled when Katie came to view. Beautiful Katie. Keeping his expectations at bay was challenging given what was at stake.

"Thanks for coming," Katie said after opening the door to see a visibly tired and worn G. Callen.

He removed his shoes and followed her to the living room where she had been on her laptop. The silence was awkward for Callen as Katie sorted through a pile of papers beside her computer.

"Here, I thought you might want to read this," she said as she handed him an envelope that had several stamps on the front of it. Postmark was from Kenya.

He peered over at Katie who nodded for him to open and read what was inside. Carefully he pulled out the single sheet of folded paper that covered a picture of a baby.

"Read it," Katie directed as she slid the chair back in front of her computer and tapped a few keys before closing it.

Callen was taken aback by Katie's behaviour. She was calm, assured and if he wasn't mistaken, happy. Was she happy to see him or was she just happy to have received a letter from her friend from across the world? And why was she sharing her letter with him?

Katie remained silent as she watched him read the letter.

The first paragraph was pleasantries and Callen had no trouble reading Kamaria's handwriting. He smiled as she wrote about Jabari finding a new chess partner but not as charming and witty as his American friend. He glanced at the picture after Kamaria explained how a group of volunteers came three weeks after they had left and had brought with them some old Polaroid cameras for the villagers, complete with a healthy stock of batteries and film paper.

_Very cool,_ he thought and continued reading.

… _a pleasant surprise to find out I was pregnant. We send you a picture of our son …_

Callen would later swear his heart missed a literal beat as he read the boy's name.

…_Callen Mitchell named for our very special friends in America._

Callen's head darted upward from his position on the couch to see Katie smiling. And it was that smile that made all of the butterflies he had accumulated in the pit of his stomach disappear before he continued to read how Kamaria had been pregnant when she and Kaisa had been attacked.

_No words could say thank you to Callen for making our baby and me safe. We give our son the names of his saviour and golden angel._

After Callen finished the letter his eyes locked on the picture of the baby boy staring back at him. Chubby cheeks and Jabari's eyes were what made him smile but his name was what welled his eyes with tears that he wouldn't try and suppress.

Katie could no longer hide behind her façade of being calm, cool and collected, so she stood and then joined Callen on the couch. Before she started to talk, a quick memory of their first "study session" flashed through her mind. He had been upfront about his job being dangerous that evening. She had heard him but didn't pay as much heed to it as she should have and for that she chalked it up to being smitten by the older, handsome and charming man who made her palms sweat, groin tingle and lips form a smile whenever she thought of him.

"I called you right after I read it even though I knew you were on an assignment."

"How did you know?"

"Hetty sent me an email."

"Oh, I didn't even think about telling Hetty she would no longer have to do that."

"I'm glad you didn't."

And so was he.

"That's quite the honour they gave us," Callen stated as he tucked the letter back into the envelope but left Callen Mitchell's photo on top before placing it back on the coffee table.

"Yes, it is."

Emotions were brewing and Callen took the moment of haziness to pull Katie onto his lap and silently recalled the first time they had sat like that on her couch. He was tired and worn but found the strength to hold her tight as she shifted to get comfortable.

"Is there another reason you asked me to come over?"

"Yes. We need to talk about …"

Before she could finish, their lips met at Callen's initiation. Katie responded with eagerness that both surprised and delighted Callen. The deep seeded passion they (still) shared surfaced as Callen's hands moved up Katie's back and stopped at her shoulders. Temptation to use that position to turn and lay her on her back was overshadowed by a longing to make that almost surreal kiss linger. One of Katie's hands moved through his slightly longer, fluffier than usual hair. His lips parted, not to welcome her tongue against his but to acknowledge the appreciation for his longer locks.

"Sometimes what we want and what we need aren't the same things," she said quietly after touching her lips, already missing his.

His grip tightened on her body before he allowed a hand to slide up under her shirt stopping just below the strap of her bra. "I want you, _oh fuck yeah_ I do." Callen was using the never-lost intense physical connection to his advantage and hearing him talk like that had Katie responding by squeezing her thighs tighter against his. The physical connection was still very much alive, as was the emotional one. "As for needing you, there are no words."

Unexpectedly, but more than welcomed, adrenaline started to course through his body and with that he took the opportunity to say what had been embedded in his mind the past two months.

"I'm sorry I intentionally lied to you Katie. It was done so I wouldn't have to deal with the reality of what you were asking. Of what you were needing." I didn't want to lose you and yet I did. It was a selfish and obviously, redundant move on my part." He cupped her face with one hand while the other remained firmly around her back, "I'm sorry Katie."

She leaned into his hand. The sorrow that flowed from his hands and eyes touched her to the core of her being. In the moment, the pleading his case was to prove he was worthy of her love despite the heartaches she had endured since he came into her life.

"I say selfish because I've seen the grief loved ones of an Agent suffer when the job takes a life." His voice softened but his eyes stayed rigidly focused on hers. "I'm very aware that the risk is high for me _and_ you."

She leaned back a bit to get a better view of his face. The lines around his eyes were more prominent than she remembered but the blue of his eyes still mesmerized her.

"I missed you," she said as she got off his lap and picked up the picture from the table.

His hand met hers as she held the picture of the baby boy who had instantly captured both their hearts from thousands of miles away.

"And I missed you," he replied before taking the picture from her and placed it back down on the table. He entwined both sets of fingers in hers.

Katie's instincts two months ago told her to get out before … Panic struck her like a lightning bolt before she could talk and dashing for the kitchen is what she did. The sudden movement took him by surprise and it wasn't until he registered the sound of her crying that he met her in front of the kitchen table.

"Come here," he said quietly as his arms opened for her.

Katie remained motionless.

"Come here," he repeated.

Katie stepped into the never forgotten warmth and security of his arms. These weren't the tears of sadness that he had seen before but tears of anguish. He held her tight against his body until she moved slightly to see his face several minutes later. In those few seconds her usually cheerful eyes conveyed a sorrow, a pain that literally scared him.

"What happened while I was gone?" His heart was aching for her.

"I'm not expecting anything from you, I just wanted to share Kamaria's letter with you and say that I'm sorry for telling you to choose between me and your job." That was just the tip of the iceberg that Katie had knocked off, but the relief she felt was unprecedented.

She might not have been _expecting_ anything from him, but she certainly wanted something from him as it was written all over her face and ingrained in her eyes. _She wanted him._ His confidence that they would work things out soared and he took control of the conversation.

"I want it all Katie and I want it with you."

Still relishing in the warmth of his arms around her, she relaxed a bit as more of his confessions spilled out. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.

His voice was as soft as the blue of his eyes. "We all have fears Katie. I took great strides to overcome some of mine to be with you."

Katie's body continued to relax but only for a brief moment until mention of his "three mental lists" caused her to recoil from him.

Callen knew it wasn't the _I'd die for you_ or the _I live for you_ affirmation but the I_'d kill for you_ admittance. The vivid memory from Kenya was briefly pushed into the forefront of both their minds. It was an extremely tense moment for both of them as Callen reminded her that it was his job that had given him the lethal skills to protect those he cared for and loved. He nodded towards the living room where the photo of the dark skinned baby, bearing their surnames, lay. He wouldn't be knocking off people left, right and center, to which Katie smiled nervously at, but he would do _whatever_ was necessary to keep those close to him-and her-safe.

Katie's not sure who was hit hardest by his next words, "You are the first person to be on the second list," he said quietly.

"First one?"

"I know, it's sad isn't it?" he replied somewhat jokingly.

"No it's not sad." Her lips briefly met his. "It reminds me of how much you love me. And that what I'm going through affects you as well. I've been so caught up with myself that I'd lost sight of that."

Callen led them back to the living room to the couch after obtaining a box of tissues from her bedroom. As Katie waited for him to return, her eyes were drawn to the picture on the table and it was then that she suddenly realized Callen had intentionally not put back in the envelope – _and why._

Sitting back down beside her, he handed the box and she wiped her eyes before setting the box down beside the picture.

Katie talked about how she was still going to therapy and the support group every week and that it was very helpful. Well it had been until she read Kamaria's letter. Callen's actions in Kenya weren't in question anymore but the news of the birth of Kamaria and Jabari's son had been a double-edged sword of emotions for Katie.

Elated that her friends had a child they loved, she also worried, literally, about how they would survive with another mouth to feed. They didn't have much but they had love and faith in each other those things would somehow work out. And even though the possibility of a better life, in Kenya or somewhere else bordered on impossible, they always did their best with what they had.

On a separate piece of paper that Katie hadn't shown Callen, she shared what Kamaria had written. She thanked Katie for all of the supplies she had sent, and that she and Jabarai would most definitely be using the condoms included. Although Callen Mitchell wasn't planned (it was almost never a planned pregnancy in that region of Kenya) he would be treasured with every breath he took.

Callen was impressed with how well Katie had dealt with things while he was away. It was a lot for her to deal with on her own, and it wasn't the first time nor would it be the last. Guilt was resurfacing in learning what her life entailed while he was on assignment but he quickly reeled it in and replaced it with responsibility.

As Katie talked, Callen was reminded of how fortunate he and Katie were to live where basic existence wasn't a literal struggle from day to day. As soon as that thought traveled through his mind, Katie's next words brought him back to reality and to what he and Katie hadn't dealt with together.

"I then became angry," Katie announced. "Angry that she has a child and I don't." Katie knew it wasn't logical to think that way but it got the best of her, albeit for a short time. "Six therapy sessions and four support group meetings alleviated that anger but certain things still trigger a relapse."

They moved back to the kitchen where Katie made some snacks and they talked about how they both often wondered if their baby was a boy or girl. Both thought it would have been a boy and shared what features and characteristics their child might have had. Blond hair and blues eyes were a given. Katie's cute, button nose and Callen's smile along with Katie's compassion and Callen's loyalty. Peacefulness flowed into their bodies and minds as they talked, shed a few tears and even managed a mutual laugh when thinking about Deeks (and Kensi) babysitting for them. And how their baby would have been loved by so many.

A few silent moments resonated between them, that peacefulness bridging the gap between them but Callen still needed to know, hear it from her, if there was a future for them and like many times before, Katie "read his mind" and addressed the root of her fears and the reason for their breakup eight weeks before.

"It was a rough two months," her voice was shaky.

He nodded.

"I got through it though, but you know what the hardest part was?"

He shook his head.

"Regretting my last words to you. We're not supposed to have any regrets."

They continued to talk into the night, lots of coffee fuelling their physically and emotionally tired bodies. Callen had moved back to the couch, Katie in the chair across from him. It was crucial they keep their physical connection at bay until their emotional connection was solidified.

Various feelings were revealed, both garnering a renewed confidence that there would be a future for them. Katie's admittance that she (still) didn't like his job but accepted it, wholeheartedly, removed any distrust he had in Katie that she would again end their relationship only to change her mind. His heart couldn't take it and when he told Katie that, he was reassured that the past two months had been the epiphany she had needed to get past her unhealthy fear of losing Callen to death.

"I knew the fear was controlling me and I had to let it go but I just couldn't get to that point. Every time I tried to reach out to grab it, it slipped away. My therapist finally told me, after I went on for thirty minutes about you being away again, there is no magic cure for worrying about a loved one. You just have to learn to not let those worries control you. You have to be in control of them or they will wreak havoc in your life _and_ cause misery."

"Wise woman," Callen replied.

"She also said that for two hundred dollars an hour, it was the more logical choice to "get over it". And then I received Hetty's email and knew you were coming home."

And there they were, exhausted and still as much in love as they were two months ago. In fact, even more so with a renewed pact that they would never let their anger about anything linger and would work to resolve it before allowing it to fester.

Callen had one more thing to tell Katie before he accepted the offer to spend the night in her bed.

"I got to work and was summoning the courage to call you Friday morning, a week after we last saw each other, when Hetty called me and Sam into her office with an undercover assignment. I was so pissed off with myself for not having called you yet at the same time if I had, I would have been a no-show without explanation." He realized what he had just said. "That is if you had agreed to see me that night."

"I would have."

He had needed to hear those words for fifty-six days and nights. The pleading his case was no longer needed.

"There are no words to reassure you that everything will be okay, but I need you to know that sometimes it's by obligation that I am away for extended periods of time." He leaned forward, his arms folded across his legs, before continuing. "An old friend was missing and needed my help. We worked together several times, years ago in various countries and more recently our paths crossed here in LA. I could have asked that Deeks and Kensi worked the out of town case but _I_ needed to find him. He made a sacrifice the last time I saw him so the rest of the team and myself could get out a "sticky situation" -_alive_." He moved to a kneeling position on the floor in front of her, "You are the most important person in my life Katie."

"_But …_"

"Sometimes I have to be with or help the other important people in my life."

Katie could understand that, as she wouldn't and hasn't hesitated to help a friend or loved one in need.

"There is something else about this friend that you need to know."

Her ears perked up.

"He is most likely the only person on the planet who will be able to help me find the answers to the questions I have about my past."

Katie knew how much he longed for those answers.

"How is your friend?" she asked.

Callen took that particular moment in time to reveal a _little more_ of his secret life with Katie.

"Arkady. My friend's name is Arkady. And he's doing well despite the situation in was in for several months."

Katie didn't question "what situation" that was. She accepted, unconditionally, what Callen offered before suggesting they go to bed.


	26. Chapter 26 - A Day in Life of G Callen

**Chapter 26: A Day or Two in the Life of G Callen**

* * *

**A/N:** This is the final chapter. Thank you for reading, reviewing and adding me/my story to your Favourites list. There will be a third and final story in the Tequila Trilogy - not sure when it will be written though.

Thank-you to _Gina Callen_ for being my Beta on this story.

* * *

**Chapter 19 – A Day or Two In the Life of G. Callen**

Callen's sleep went past ten o'clock the next morning despite the four cups of coffee he had the night before. Startled when seeing the numbers on Katie's alarm clock, he quietly got out of bed, trying not to disturb the sleeping beauty beside him. For obvious reasons he hadn't planned on staying the night, but when Katie offered a platonic sharing of her bed, he accepted. Although the temptation had been there as they talked into the night, a physically gratifying romp on the couch wasn't what either of them needed. Opting for tea, he checked his phone for messages while the kettle boiled. Just before he put the phone back in the pocket of his jacket slung over a chair, the message beep sounded indicating a message. It was from Hetty.

_Mr. Deeks has been arrested for murder._

He moved the phone further from his face thinking he had misread the words and silently cursed about needing reading glasses. He had read it correctly.

"Not again!" he said loud enough for Katie to hear him in the hallway. As she appeared before him, he felt the pangs of anxiety brewing in his stomach.

"Good morning handsome," she announced but offered to retract the 'good' as soon as she looked into his eyes.

"Good morning beautiful," he replied. "It's always a good morning when I'm with you."

"True but that's not the case today," she retorted as she too opted for tea.

"What's up?"

"I have to go to work."

As she took a seat across from him after making tea for them both, she couldn't help but notice how tired he still looked.

"Did you not sleep well? I did. Must have been the company I had."

"I slept very well but I'll need a lot more of those sleeps to catch up on what I missed the past few months."

"Whatever I can do to help." She tried to wiggle her eyebrows but was unsuccessful. She reverted to a sweet smile and that, coupled with her tousled but sexy hair, had guilt creeping in amongst his anxiety.

"Did you hear what I said?" he asked.

"I heard you."

"You're not going to say anything about it?"

She lowered her mug. "You're going to leave regardless of what I say." That came out harsher than she had intended. "What happened that you need to go to work on a Saturday morning?"

"Deeks was arrested. For murder."

"Wow, that's some pretty intense shit." Her voice conveyed the sudden nervousness the rest of her body had taken on.

Callen could see she really was trying to understand _his_ struggle to balance work and personal life and both of them _hated_ that work was still interfering with the other.

"Yeah it is. It has to be a misunderstanding though as Hetty wouldn't bring a murderer into NC …"

They both started at each other, the silence enveloping the space around them.

Fourteen months of knowing each other and the agency he worked for had never come to light. Katie anxiously waited to see if he would finish. She had mixed feelings about knowing which government agency he worked for. Part of her liked the mystery of not knowing and she could continue to tell people he was in 'law enforcement'. Knowing would make his job and dangerous situations he was put in every day, even realer than they had been.

Callen had intentionally avoided telling her the Agency name to protect her. It was better, safer, for her not to know whom he worked for. But life was changing for him and that meant continuing to reveal more (but still within limits) of his secret life as NCIS Special Agent, G. Callen.

"NCIS. I work for Naval Criminal Investigative Service."

"Never would have thought there would be so many criminals in the Navy."

Callen smirked at the comment. Many of the cases he worked were _not_ Navy related but somehow they landed at his team's doorstep. He and the others had questioned several cases they were assigned and one day he questioned Hetty specifically about it. It just so happens that the Office of Special Projects had become well known among government officials for their expertise and high number of solved cases and when they were in need, they would call Hetty Lange for assistance.

"Not just Navy cases. We help out other agencies as well when needed."

"It's nice to hear that government agencies actually work _together_. "

"We don't always work well together, but we try."

Callen had forgotten to reply to the message so when another one came through he replied and then told Katie he would see her later. When, he wasn't sure but he would call or text if he was going to be past eight o'clock. Katie appreciated that gesture but wasn't naïve enough to know that in the midst of his work, it might not be feasible, or safe, for him to contact her.

After gathering his things, Katie walked him to the front door. "Be safe," she whispered.

"I will. I wish I didn't have to go but Deeks …"

"He needs your help. And Callen?"

"Yeah?"

"If _you_ needed help?" Katie knew how close Callen was with Deeks, Kensi and Sam but hearing him say the words would be comforting (to her).

"Deeks, Kensi and Sam would be there for me."

And with that he cupped her cheek with one hand and met her lips briefly with his, silently promising her he would do everything humanly possible to finish that kiss before they went to sleep later that night. Katie halted his departure by telling him to wait a minute as she retrieved her spare house key and handed it to him.

"In case I'm asleep."

He nodded with appreciation as he placed it next to his own house key before opening the door to a world whose uncertainty was becoming more of a pain in the ass as each day passed.

* * *

_Ten hours later_

Katie had kept busy that day by making plans with friends, giving her a much-needed distraction while Callen was out 'saving the world'. He called at eight-twenty-seven to say he wasn't sure how much longer he would be. She thanked him for calling. Relieved he was okay and after hitting end, took a deep breath and held it before slowly exhaling. Despite everything that had happened to her and between them, that precise moment was most pivotal in realizing what she had actually gotten herself into by falling in love with G. Callen.

The friends they had made at the resort they went to for her birthday had called shortly after Callen had left in the morning. Vita had asked her if they would like to get together in the evening but Katie couldn't commit, as she didn't know when Callen would be home. And when Vita mentioned next weekend, Katie felt as though her stomach had taken on a ten-pound weight. Chances are he wouldn't be called into work two Saturday's in a row, however, the thought had never crossed her mind that after being away for two months and making amends, that he would be out helping _another_ friend in trouble the next day.

Katie assumed Sam would be working to help Deeks, so she contemplated calling Michelle. Unless a person was in the exact situation she was, they couldn't begin to understand or give constructive advice on how to cope with the demands a Federal Agent working 'special cases' has on the person they are in a relationship with.

* * *

Michelle and Rachel had just finished eating some of the chocolate chip cookies they had baked earlier when Katie arrived shortly after talking to Michelle on the phone. Despite it being the younger Hanna's bedtime, Michelle agreed Katie could read Rachel a story in the living room. Although it had been quite a while since they had seen each other, the initial bond they had formed was still there as Rachel quickly got into her pyjamas and brushed her teeth before running down the stairs to join Katie on the couch.

"It never gets easier," Michelle admitted while she listened to Katie and poured some drinks after Rachel was finally tucked into bed for the night.

"It's worth it though for when they're home." She pointed to a family picture at the beach and could see Katie was getting it but still needed something else. "It's not about the quantity of time you are together, but the quality."

Katie had thought of that many times but to hear it from someone in the same situation, gave her the reassurance that she _would adapt_ to her new life that she had night before, wholeheartedly _accepted._

They talked about what was on Katie's mind which led to an admittance of things that Katie suddenly realized, when she stopped talking, had been an indulgence of way too much information. She really didn't know Michelle all that well but felt comfortable with her so she just waited to see what the older woman had to say. A warm smile reassured Katie that although the abundance of information was surprisingly intimate, it would stay between the two of them.

"I was a strong and independent woman who my friends looked to for help and advice before…."

"Before you met the charming Special Agent, G. Callen," Michelle chimed in.

Katie felt her face warming.

"That's one of the reason you were attracted to him, right?"

Katie managed a quiet, "Yes."

"It was the same for me with Sam. Those dimples were irresistible."

Michelle's personal admittance had Katie relaxing. "You just happen to have fallen on some unfortunate times."

"All in the past _five_ years." Katie's words were bitter and didn't go unnoticed by Michelle.

"We can't control when things happen, just how we deal with them."

"You sound like my therapist."

"I've seen a few of those in my life," she replied with a hint of sarcasm in her words.

"Time heals all wounds," Katie added, with a shake of her head.

Michelle stood and pulled her pants down over her hip on one side, "Only the physical ones."

It took Katie a moment to realize what Michelle was saying. _"You?"_

"Bullet grazed me before another lodged right here." Her finger traced the skin before she looked back up at Katie. "That's how I met Sam." Not only did Michelle understand the challenges of being in a relationship with a Federal Agent, but also what it's like to be one. "Sam was a Navy SEAL before joining …" she hesitated, her eyes asking the question.

"Actually I just found out today that they work for NCIS."

Michelle nodded approvingly for how grounded Katie actually was, not knowing any woman who would go that long without insisting where their significant other worked.

Katie glanced at her phone to check the time but subconsciously was hoping her phone's sound had malfunctioned and she had missed a call from Callen. When Katie's eyes met Michelle's after she had sat back down, the younger woman had a momentary relapse in thinking her age, and lack of wisdom would indeed be a hindrance in her relationship with Callen, who had many scars, physically and emotionally. She had come to terms with the physical ones and the emotional ones he had revealed. But what if he still had to reveal something she couldn't handle? Katie hated when insecurities crept into her head undermining all that she had overcome since her mom died. So she shook the paranoid thoughts from her mind determined to focus on the positive things in her life and her future with Callen.

"You are still a strong and independent woman. I know that because you wouldn't be talking to me right now if you weren't. You would have left Callen at the first sign of turbulence in your relationship – _and never returned_." The former CIA Operative had honed in on Katie's action instantly, "And _that_ is something you eventually learn _not_ to do," Michelle said as she picked up a cookie from the plate on the coffee table and pointed to Katie's phone that still had the blonde woman's attention.

An hour later, with a few laughs and a tear or two shed, Katie was getting tired and said it was time to leave. Michelle offered an open invitation to talk anytime. Katie thanked her and headed out into the night.

It was just before midnight when she entered the front door of her home. Her phone had beeped moments before as she pulled into the driveway with a message from Callen saying that he was on his way to her house. A reply said she would wait up for him.

She changed into her pajamas and settled on the couch checking some messages regarding work on her phone while she waited for Callen.

"Hey, thanks for waiting up for me," Callen said as he walked through the door and saw her on the couch.

"Anytime."

"Mind if make something to eat? I missed dinner."

"Help yourself."

With her legs stretched out on the couch, she waited for Callen to make a sandwich before he opted for the chair across from her. She waited until he was finished eating before talking.

"How did it go with Deeks?"

"Murder charge was dropped and another corrupt cop is behind bars for the rest of his life."

"So he had been framed?"

"Not exactly. He did kill the guy but it wasn't murder."

"Then what was it?"

"Self defense and he offered to enter a plea of Self Defense Manslaughter if it's pursued further."

"You believe him?"

"I do."

"How many people have you killed in self defense?"

"Too many." Callen was expecting a response but instead Katie walked over to him and joined him on the chair as she sat sideways, her legs slung over the armrest.

"I tried not to worry about you today. Went out with friends and then to see Michelle."

His eyebrows darted upwards.

"I'm assuming you know she used to be an Agent."

"Katie, I didn't think I should …"

"It's okay that you didn't tell me. I _do_ understand why you can't or don't tell me certain things."

Their eyes met with an intensity similar to the first time Callen told Katie he loved her.

"If you didn't worry about me while I'm working, then I would be concerned." He clarified himself, "A little bit worried."

"It's going to take time for me to adapt. Accepting my life with you is easier than actually adapting to it."

"Did something else happen today?" He asked when he sensed she was holding back.

"Vita called after you left and asked if we wanted to get together later. I said we couldn't, so then she asked about next weekend."

"What did you say?"

"I told her I would get back to her."

Callen's perceptiveness was bang on, "You thought I might be called into work again."

"I know you had to help Deeks but what if someone else needs your help next weekend? It's crazy sounding but why can't people stay out of trouble from five o'clock Friday afternoon to eight o'clock Monday morning?"

"I have thought that same thing many a times." His arms tightened around her. "But right now I don't want to talk about work."

Katie assumed he was tired and wanted to go to sleep, so she wiggled out of his embrace and stood up.

Silence engulfed the room as Callen stood before his hand grabbed hers and pulled their bodies together, fulfilling the silent promise to finish their kiss from the morning. Mouths and hands sought out the memories and feelings from their last most intimate encounter, which was in Kenya, many months ago. His larger fingers tangled in the long strands of her hair while her fingernails grazed over the smooth flesh under the back of his shirt. Everything and everyone was in another dimension as Callen carefully stepped backwards until his calves met the edge of the couch. He wasn't sure if he fell backwards or Katie pushed him. It was irrelevant, as his belt was pulled from his pants in a sweeping motion as Katie hovered over him, relieved that he didn't want to _'sleep'._

"Nice," he replied to the view her position allowed. It was a short lived view as she lowered herself down on his lap allowing her fingers to frolic with the patch of hair just above the button of the denim garment on the lower portion of his body. "Not here," he managed to get out as his erection was now snug against her inner thigh. "Bedroom."

"But … we … will have to … stop." Katie's words had barely left her mouth when his tongue found her earlobe.

With a firm grip on her hips, Katie was tossed to the side before Callen stood. Towering over her, the image before had him swiping his lips with his tongue. "So beautiful."

She raised her hand without hesitation when he offered his and then led them to her bedroom. Months of abstinence were a distant memory as Callen's body pushed Katie's flush to the mattress, coils of sexual tension being unwound as clothes were methodically removed. Eager anticipation of what was to come continued to build as they obtained the joys and comforts, which could only be found with one another, as they connected as one.

* * *

The next morning Callen was up before Katie and after making coffee, he made his way to the deck where he listened to the birds sing their song as the sun made its way over the horizon. When he stood he could see the neighbour's young kids playing in their sandbox while an adult sipped a beverage on the patio. The simplest of things in life were often the ones that gave the most pleasure to a person and those around them. A pile of sand, a shovel and bucket were as simple as it came and yet children spent hours, building and creating with them.

There wasn't anything simple about being in a relationship with G. Callen as Katie Mitchell had come to learn. Callen smiled at all they had overcome and knew that it was mornings like this that was worth every moment of it. The loner characteristic that identified him for so many years was slowly fading and he liked the feeling it gave him. He was loved by a woman who accepted him for who he was, G. Callen – something that he had honestly never thought would happen.

His mind wandered to the future as he imagined many a lingering make-out sessions in bed as the sun rose and they both joked about not going to work, or how he would rub up against her thigh as she made breakfast, patiently waiting approval for him to proceed. Not all of his thoughts were sexual though. Hearing the laughter from the other side of the fence was as sweet a sound he could ever hear and he knew one day it would be their child or (children) warming his inner being from head to toe. After finishing his coffee he went back inside where he found a sleepy eyed Katie entering the kitchen.

"Good morning Kates."

"Good morning …" she hesitated a moment after he gave her a tender kiss on the lips and that special gleam in his eyes reserved for her.

"You forgot my name?" he asked with a twinkle of naughtiness that replaced that gleam in his eyes. "You certainly didn't forget it last night."

Katie blushed at his reference. She had been a little more vocal than in the past and had (briefly) forgotten what she had wanted to say and Callen wasn't going to give her the (immediate) chance to remember.

"What's that position called? You know the one where …" his words trailed off as it wasn't necessary to evoke the precise details.

Katie cleared her throat aware Callen knew exactly what it was called, "Reverse cowgirl."

"Oh yeah." He licked his lips before he leaned in to whisper in her ear, silently relishing in the fact his breath had given her goose bumps despite the warmth of the morning air filling the house. "That explains why I have an uncanny desire to go to a rodeo today." A cheeky grin adorned his face while she refilled his mug, poured her own and turned the griddle on for pancakes.

She swallowed hard as a vivid recollection came to her of the 'event' being discussed. The intense stimulation on her clitoris mixed with Callen laying on his back, propped up by the ever useful pillows and his hands firmly on her hips, was the ideal position for her to take control of penetration.

As quickly as her original thought had disappeared, it returned. "I don't have a 'pet name' for you. You call me Kates but what can I call you?"

"Well, it might be challenging to get a pet name out of G." He took their mugs and placed them on the counter before wrapping her in hug. "No pet names are needed. G or Callen is good."

They enjoyed the comfort of the closeness with a few longing looks into each other's eyes and a few soft kisses. It was short lived as the sound of the griddle being ready interrupted them. Callen offered to help but Katie insisted he sit down and finish his coffee.

"You know I do recall you saying _"Oh God!"_ quite a bit last night. Maybe _that's_ my first name – it begins with a G."

"You are _so_ …."

"What?"

Katie shook her head. "What am I going to do with you G. Callen?" As soon as the words left her mouth she realized what she had said. "I know, _anything_ I want."

Callen nodded in agreement while Katie mixed the ingredients together before ladling it onto the heated surface.

They were most definitely back in the groove of things with their light hearted banter. As the healthy stack of waffles was lowered down in front of him, Callen glanced up at Katie as she put the maple syrup on the table. Her natural beauty still took his breath away especially as a hint of sunlight peeked through the window and shone on her. She was most definitely a golden angel. He couldn't help but smile as life was back on track to the way it was meant to be with her.

"In all sincerity though, I think I'm cured," Katie announced as she sat down.

Callen peered up at her but didn't speak due to a mouthful of food.

"No apprehension about the aftermath of having sex."

"That's good," he said after swallowing. He had asked her last night about being ready and she reassured him she was more than ready and showed him by riding him into the wee hours of the morning.

"I was ready five weeks ago."

Her words had his face forming a perplexed look. "We weren't together."

"I know. Do you really think I would _randomly_ pick a man to fuck me?"

He shook his head, wondering how those words entered the conversation and the thought of another man with her made his almost full stomach feel queasy.

"We will have to do it several times to make sure, you know, that I don't relapse."

Callen pushed his plate back and wiped his mouth on a napkin before moving his chair closer to hers.

"I haven't been home yet."

_"What?"_ This was one of those times when a conversation between them could drastically change in an instant without warning.

"Taking you back to bed and having leisurely Sunday Sex is what we would be doing if I had been back home since being away for two months. I need to check on things."

"You could have gone last night before coming back here." The words _Sunday Sex_ were lingering in her mind.

"I could have but it was late and when you replied to my text that you were still awake, being with you was my only focus."

It was at that precise moment Katie _really_ saw the struggles, etched in his face, most prominently in his eyes, that Callen was having with adapting to life with her. Again, she silently envied him for having the ability to compartmentalize his struggles even though he had told her that it wasn't as good a thing as it seemed.

She glanced at the clock on the stove. "Let's finish up and get ready to go."

"You don't have to come with me," he replied.

"I want to," she answered before finishing her breakfast.

"Kensi had been going by every few days but it's home, you know. When you said you wanted to see me, I couldn't think of anything else." He had felt a compulsion to let Katie know at any opportunity that although his work was time consuming, making time for her _is_ a priority for him.

"Thank you for coming here," she said before biting her syrup covered lower lip to help curb the urge she had to kiss him. "And you don't have to justify wanting to go home after two months of being away."

It wasn't just his home; it would eventually be _their_ home. That is if Katie still wanted to live there.

"I can take care of things next time you are away," she offered.

"I will take you up on that offer."

An awkward silence caused Callen to rub his fingers on his right hand, as certain sign he was _thinking_.

"I know we talked about living together but given what has happened, I feel we should take things slowly.

"So you still want to live with me?" She asked with nervousness and a hint of excitement.

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "We don't need to rush into it though."

"No we don't. A lot has happened." She appreciated that they were both being logical about making this monumental step forward in their relationship. Her life, her future was with G. Callen but rushing into cohabitation needn't be done so soon after their temporary breakup.

* * *

"Everything looks good here," Callen announced after taking a walk through his house.

"There's isn't anything for burglars to steal, so really you just have to worry about fire and Mother Nature."

Callen rolled his eyes and stated he was going over to the neighbour's house to pay the girl for cutting his grass.

"How did she know to cut the grass if you didn't have time to talk to anyone before you left?" Katie asked pointedly.

"Kensi knew who to ask."

"I'll go through your fridge, toss what's old and make a list of things you need."

"You don't have to do that."

"Go." She shooed him out the door and began her list making. After she had a grocery list for Callen, she walked back into the living room where she sat and waited for Callen to return. She glanced out the window and saw him standing across the street talking to a teenaged girl who stopped walking her dog to talk to Callen. After petting the dog and paying the girl for her labour, Callen went back into the house to find Katie waiting for him. Her smile from earlier had disappeared.

"Hey, penny for your thoughts?"

She shook her head.

"Something is on your mind." He pulled the other chair out in front of her and waited for her to start talking.

"You don't think I'm emotionally ready for us to live together. When you said we should take our time I thought that was the rational thing to do but now I'm thinking you don't feel I'm ready. I might be reading more into it but … "

She pulled her leg back when Callen reached out to touch it.

"I don't think that Katie, not now, not when I said it, or ever."

The look of uncertainty on her face had him sighing with slight frustration but he reached down and pulled out the compassion he knew she needed. It was going to take time for Katie to adapt to life with him and he accepted that without hesitation. He sat back in the chair and looked around the living room and then at Katie.

"Renovations."

She cautiously met his eyes with hers. _"What?"_

"I don't want to rush into living together because I want to do some renovations before you move into our home. You agreeing to live here, means more than…" he started to get emotional with thoughts of one of the best parts of his past meshing with the best part of his present life. "I want you to feel that this is as much your home as it is mine and I think doing renovations is the best way to achieve that."

He waited while Katie processed what he had just said. "Great, now I feel like a … maybe, I don't what." She was angry with herself for thinking he doubted her.

"A new kitchen and bathrooms. Fresh paint." He held out his hand for her to take and with a firm grasp, pulled her out of the chair and led her to the opened back door. "The patio is okay, but I was thinking a new deck with BBQ for when our family and friends come over." He pointed to a corner in the yard, "And a sandbox over there."

Katie listened as Callen told her of his visions for inside and outside of their home. It wasn't his words or the grin on his face when he mentioned a beer fridge on the deck, but the passion and downright happiness found in his eyes that had her falling even more in love with him. She knew it was her presence in his life that put them there. And with that she silently vowed to stay determined in rebuilding the confidence she had always had in herself and although it would be rough at times, especially when her wounds would open, there was no doubt that she would succeed with Callen by her side.

She nodded at all of his ramblings, smiling on the outside, while cringing on the inside when he mentioned hideous paint colors for certain walls and wondered jokingly, if perhaps he was color blind. It was midday and the house was warming but it was still too early in the season to turn on the air conditioning and all Katie could concentrate on, as soon as it formed, was the single bead of sweat over his right brow.

"You hot?" she asked as the blue tank top that had been adorning her upper body fell to the floor.

His head bobbed up and down in agreement and in appreciation of the white sports bra covering her breasts that had absorbed droplets of her own perspiration. His t-shirt joined hers on the floor.

"You planning a workout?" he asked, as he reached out to touched the fabric nestled between her breasts that now had stiff peaks.

"Yes."

Katie's stance, feet rigidly together, one hand on a hip and two furrowed brows suggested he had assumed something he shouldn't have. But then the lick of her lips and sudden, slight parting of her legs, coupled with the hand that was on her hip, now on his, reaffirmed they were both thinking the same thing. Katie's eyes had stayed focused on the single bead of perspiration until he wiped it with the back of his hand.

His hands then firmly grasped her shoulders before they guided her to the wall where she had given him the first of many blowjobs. As the thought wavered in his head, Katie's hand had found its way into his shorts and in a matter of seconds, was caressing the sensitive flesh she found. His insatiable need for her touch would always be a part of his being. They were both struggling to adjust to different aspects of their relationship, but physical intimacy between them was as easy as taking a breath.

With his lips slightly parted, the sound of appreciation he had for her ability to heighten his arousal so quickly, was clearly heard. It was only a matter of seconds before Katie grabbed a small pillow from one of the chairs, knelt before him, tossed her bra to the floor and filled her mouth with his desirable hardness.

_She is definitely going to be working out_, he thought.

His eyes had been closed for a few moments but when they opened, he saw three men, through the currently uncovered window, standing on the other side of the street. His imagination drifted off to a fantasy of being watched. Oh how he would be the envy of any man (or woman) to have the beautiful and talented Katie Mitchell sucking him off. He would _never_ allow them to be watched but secretly he would pretend, knowing it could turn any corner he wanted it to.

A lounge chair on the beach just before sunset and a lone man walking by halts his steady pace to admire Katie's arched back as she straddles him, sinking deep down on his cock. Two perky breasts jutting upward, her nipples hardened by the cooling air, brushing over them after Callen's mouth had moistened them. Just before his fantasy was about to take a sharp turn, Katie removed his hardness from her mouth, stood and headed towards the bedroom, her shorts and underwear discarded before she lay on the bed. Callen was a microsecond behind her, the remainder of his clothes falling on top of hers.

"I was going to open the window but I think your neighbours outside don't want to hear me."

His ever-present problem solving skills came to light. It was too warm in the bedroom not to have the window open. He would have to make sure only he heard her. Her tongue in his mouth was one way. His dick in her mouth, another. Gagging her could be an option but he would risk his neighbours 'looks' in future days ahead, instead. That wasn't something he would be comfortable doing, mainly because it would be guaranteed to trigger unwanted memories of him being gagged before being ….

"Callen, what are you waiting for?" Katie called out from the bed as he stared out the still closed window.

Hearing her voice, he took a quick glance over his shoulder, opened the window and instantly felt the warm breeze blow over his chest. His past would always be there but with the forever love of the beautiful woman in his bed, it would fade with happier memories replacing them.

Despite an incredible love making session less than twenty-four hours earlier, Callen (still) felt the need to make up for the time lost to them. He needed to continue to show Katie how devoted he was to their relationship in every aspect. His much longer than usual hair and well overdue for a shave facial hair didn't reflect the maintenance he had done on the inside during his undercover assignment. He couldn't promise her that work wouldn't take him away like that again, but he could promise her that he was committed to being the man she deserved. An attentive, loving, compassionate, understanding and patient man, as she continued to adapt to sharing her life with him. And in turn, she would give him the same considerations as _his _adaptation to life with her, continued.

He would always be an alpha male by nature but with Kathryn Mitchell by his side, some of those tendencies were disappearing. At first he felt like he was losing a part of himself but then he remembered that G. Callen hadn't ever had the opportunity to be in a real relationship with anyone, so he embraced the ability to relinquish some of that obsessive nature to be in control of _everything._

As Katie lay, naked, waiting for him on the bed he thought he would never buy, he found his heart growing again with love for the woman before him. There were no words he could speak that would convey his current feelings so he did what came naturally to him – made love to the only woman whom he knew genuinely loved _G. Callen_. Lying down beside her on the bed, he gazed into her eyes, thanking yet again, his lucky stars for bringing Katie into his life, his bedroom and his heart.

Callen had intended on an unprecedented amount of time to be spent on foreplay, but the atmosphere, with the blazing sun at its peak, changed that. Katie assumed her position for what was called the _Saucy Spoons_ sex position. Callen made a mental note to write a personal thank you letter to the editor of _Cosmopolitan_.

Snuggled in behind her, foreplay was short lived before Katie reached between them and silently voiced what they both craved as newly formed beads of perspiration covered their bodies. Focused on his slow but steady thrusts and Katie's reaction to them, Callen felt as though he had conquered the world. He pulled their bodies together as tight as possible and in turn, intensifying stimulation to Katie's clitoris. Her eyelids flickered as Callen massaged, one at time, her breasts with a firm palm.

Sex had never been one sided for Katie and Callen as they both enjoyed giving pleasure as well as receiving it. That steamy afternoon in Callen's home, him still recovering from eight weeks of living undercover and her still coming to terms with a more than usual unpredictable life, was no exception.

"_Mmmmm_. I could do this all day," Katie whispered as she embraced the safeness she felt with his body encasing hers.

Callen didn't respond with a whimsical remark like "I'm doing all the work", he just maintained his role of providing them both with a leisurely love making session on a Sunday afternoon. He couldn't think of one thing he would rather be doing.

Things had eventually heated up in the room and between the sheets and ended with Callen being the one Katie had to be concerned the neighbours would hear. A quick trip to the kitchen for water had them both downing the liquid in a matter of seconds. A sigh of relief to be hydrated preceded an agreement that there was only one logical thing for them to do next – _take a nap._

Two hours later Katie stirred waking Callen. It took a few moments for them to reacquaint themselves with their surroundings. After using the bathroom, separately taking a shower, Callen locked up and they headed to one of Katie's favourite beach side restaurants for an early dinner.

It was as though the previous two months were a distant memory as they ate and talked about upcoming plans for renovations, Katie's work and a charity benefit she was planning that she thought Callen, Sam &amp; Deeks might like to participate in. When Callen heard "Silent Date Auction" he shook his head but then when Katie told him the benefactors were matching double what the men were 'sold for', he (albeit, reluctantly) agreed.

When Callen mentioned they had missed celebrating Valentine's Day and their one-year anniversary of being together, Katie shook her head and told him it wasn't necessary for her to celebrate those things. Just being with him, living their lives together and planning their future meant more to her than any one-day celebration. She agreed though, after she continued to see a worried look on his face, that they could go on a vacation later that year after her three weeks of vacation were available for taking. He nodded in agreement.

"I don't want this day to end," Callen said as he put his Jag in park after pulling into her driveway.

"Me neither," Katie answered as she leaned towards his face. "It's not very exciting, but you could come in and watch me make my lunch for tomorrow."

Callen didn't answer her and before she knew it, he was opening the car door for her, placing his hand in the small of her back and heading towards her front door.

"Callen?"

"Yes?"

"After you take the trimmer to your face, I'm going to use it on your hair."

"I thought you like the fluffy look?"

"Fluffy, yes. Mountain man, no."

He ran his hand over his face and agreed without reluctance.

"Katie?"

"Yes Callen?" She turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open.

He closed the door and turned the lock. With his back pressing against the door, he held that position as he watched her take off her shoes; place her bag on the coffee table then turn to face him.

"I love you."

"And I love you."

Those three words easily slid off their tongues for they had discovered that the love between two people is enough to conquer all.


End file.
